The Solutions Group

Push Versus Pull Coaching: “The Dance” All powerful human interactions are a “dance.” The “dance” is knowing when and how you can put something in front of somebody and create a change in their behavior. So naturally, coaching is also a dance. Many leaders think there is only one way to do the coaching dance. The leader tells their associate what to do, how to do it and at what level of excellence. And, in turn, the associate complies. This is “push coaching.” In other words, push’m and they’ll do it. As most of you reading this post have leadership responsibility for your team, you know two things: 1.?????You believe that you should be able to use push coaching and it should be effective. 2.?????It usually isn’t and alienates the leader and their associates from each other. There Is a much more effective way to coach – “pull coaching.” In other words, using the Connors and Smith method to set up your associates to be successful. In my previous post on this topic (see my post: “Expectations, Accountability and Setting the Table” –?https://lnkd.in/gcnFMfZN), I spelled out some basics for doing this. The main idea being that the clarity about spelled out expectations and communicating those expectations so the associate wants to dig in, leads to much better buy-in and execution from the associate. This is how I determine when to “pull” and when to “push”: ·??????How comfortable I am with my coachee – if they are moving too slowly and a small verbal shove (push) will get them moving without them feeling micromanaged, I push. I also sometimes add some humor to the push. ·??????How comfortable I feel the coachee is with “the ask.” If they aren’t comfortable (for example, this is the first time they’re trying something with their own team), I’ll pull them towards the ask so they see it’s do-able and they will likely be successful. But, I’m fallible and sometimes I push when I should’ve pulled and vice versa. So, I’m comfortable backing up and trying something else. If pushing, try pulling. If pulling, try pushing My former training supervisor, Dr. Charlie Gelso, called this, “Be where they ain’t.” You’d be surprised how well this works, particularly when your coachee is stuck. One final thought about push versus pull. People respond MUCH better to pull. If you think about the best coach you’ve ever had in your life, they probably did much more pull than push. So, when in doubt, be a pull (versus push) coach. If you want to amp your coaching skills faster than I can write these articles, reach out to me to talk about how you can become a better coach:?[email protected]. #coaching #empathyatwork #leadership #emotionalintelligence #accountability