The Student Grief Network

Looking forward to speaking at two upcoming events, for those curious about my work with bereaved students and wanting insights into improving support across HE. I'll be sharing practical tips as well as thinking more broadly about creating a more compassionate grief culture. Both sessions are hosted online and open to anyone to join. It would be wonderful to see you there! 1?? This Friday, from 13:45-2:15 - as part of the International Festival for Death and Dying. More info and tickets here: https://lnkd.in/ewZi2xdV 2?? 3rd December, 11-12 alongside Geraldine Dufour in collaboration with Student Minds (more info soon on this one, but save the date!) Drop me a message if you have any questions about accessing these sessions. We're slowly making positive change and I'm excited to share that with you ??? ??

Looking forward to presenting at this year's International Festival of Death and Dying (yep, there is a death and dying festival), online on Friday 15th November, 13:45 - 14:15 GMT ?? In my session 'Dealing with Grief at University: Exploring the challenges and possibilities for students and staff', I'll be sharing insights from my work to highlight the main challenges bereaved students face and how we can create a healthier grief culture within Higher Education ?? More info and tickets here: https://lnkd.in/ewZi2xdV

As we near the end of October, I wanted to reflect on how it can feel to start university, or go into a new term, when you've experienced a significant loss. Students might be feeling overwhelmed, lonely, distracted, miserable, excited, confused... In other words, every possible emoji all at once... ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? Grief is different for everyone, but we can consider some of the tensions bereaved students might be juggling right now: Do they tell new flatmates what has happened, or avoid those awkward conversations? Do they ask for support from the university or just get on with it? Is this a chance to start afresh, or do they feel guilty for being away from home? Do they drag themselves out for a social when all they want to do is stay in bed? Is it a good idea to drink ten pints or will it end in tears? And the question underlying all of this: How do we balance new beginnings while giving our grief the time and space that it needs? We don't have to have all the answers, but we can show students they're not alone and give them space to explore how they're feeling and what they need to get through the hard days ??

I came across this article a few weeks ago, and it's really stuck with me. Moya Sarner articulates how the job of those working in the grief space is not to 'take away' people's pain, but to 'help them feel it'. That the problem is not so much the grief, but when grief gets pushed down and shut out. That's when we get stuck, when we feel disconnected, when we get ill. In her own words: "I was so preoccupied with trying to hold everything together, I lost touch with my own need to fall apart [...] It might be a person, a relationship or a dream that has died, but if we scroll or drug or literally run away from our feelings, the result is the same: we’re trapped. Without loss, without grief, there can be no growth." So instead of asking, how do I get rid of this feeling? Can you get curious about grief, look it in the eye, let yourself feel it? Not because we want to be consumed by the pain, but so that it lessens it's hold on us, so that we can grow through it. (It feels important to acknowledge that sometimes we're not ready, or don't have the support or resources to approach grief in a way that feels safe and manageable. Be curious, but don't force it. You're not failing if you're not able to face it, this stuff is hard.)

Tune into Grief in Common and listen to our Youth Ambassadors and some surprise guests as they talk about their grief experiences. ??? With two full seasons PLUS bonus episodes, pupils or children you’re supporting, can listen to a mixture of real-life voices and hear how people their age have navigated their grief. Listen today ?? https://brnw.ch/21wNjfg

"In breaking our hearts, it can open us up" A little surreal finding this poem I wrote at the beginning of The Student Grief Network journey. It still somehow captures the essence of my work and my understanding of grief with all its layers, both dark and light. The Student Grief Network The New Normal Charity Benjamin May Amber Jeffrey Cassandra Geisel Beth French Lizzie Pickering Amelia Wrighton Rachel Kimber Dr Victoria Wilson-Crane