Shorecliff Coaching

There are times in life when we feel like we don't have the choice to lead. In my opinion, there's always a choice.

This is a story about control. Your control. Control of what you say. Control of what you do. Last month, I facilitated a conversation with four leaders. The invitation was sent only to people whom I have experienced as solution-oriented, expansive thinkers that are willing to share about their challenges and support their peers in slowing down and exploring their own issues. Each challenge and perspective was unique, and distinct themes became apparent to me with the most prominent being control. As the participants shared about their seemingly impossible situations, a significant piece of their story was about control being out of reach, in ways both big and small.? ?Adverse shifts in company ethos ?Complex logistics of a company move that could impact both customer loyalty and budgetary limits ?Driving change among leadership ?External factors influencing the direction of business growth Once the group shared about the current state of their potentially insurmountable issues, they each explored how they had attempted to address the challenge thus far and what the desired outcome would be if the issue was resolved. To quote another Jackson, “No message could’ve been any clearer.” Changes had to be made within themselves and how they were relating to their issues before these leaders could better identify what they were able to control and influence externally. In your case, control and influence could start to look something like this: ? Reflect honestly on your response to an unfavorable cultural shift within your organization, identify your internal reaction and consider others’ perspectives. ?With empathy for others and a focus on company objectives, make clear requests and establish agreements aimed at addressing concerns for everyone involved. ?Until you’re ready to decide whether to pursue new methods for expansion or be content with the current state, find ways to accept responsibility and acknowledge your own internal conflict between the ambition to grow your business versus the comfort of maintaining the status quo. ?As a founder, although it may be counter to the way we relate to problem-solving, embracing collaboration with top-tier employees is more beneficial than working in isolation. At high levels of leadership, there’s often a tendency to believe that we can figure everything out on our own and that our solutions are inherently correct, leading us to view others as obstacles. When we lose empathy for others, it’s often a sign that we’ve become overly focused on ourselves and neglected self-empathy. The solution begins within us, and then we need to engage others. And, still, not everyone will necessarily see it our way. Being willing to temper our drive and slow down to understand others' viewpoints is within our control and can lead to more comprehensive, fulfilling and beneficial outcomes. This approach will also likely feel more rewarding and lead to greater transformation for you, as a leader.

So glad I said "yes" to spending six weeks on the East Coast this summer. I'm currently working from the deck, while the kids are playing in the pool on this late afternoon, and thinking about a workshop I facilitated in early May (pictured here) about the transformative power of saying "no." By saying "yes" to six weeks on the East Coast, I chose to say "no" to: - seeing my Bay Area clients in person - giving a talk in July for some rising stars in the real estate industry (now scheduled for August) - attending Bay Area summer get-togethers and professional events - doing my usual routines, which means temporarily expending a different kind of mental energy at the moment - relaxed time in my home with the kids without being constricted by the elementary school routine... and more, like having my dog with me Checking in with myself before saying "yes" to my own big idea supported me in feeling confident about my decision. I said "yes" with an awareness of what I was saying "no" to. This time away has already had its challenges and it's still feeling easy, relaxed and without internal conflict. Conversely, by saying "no" to six weeks of summer at home in the Bay Area, I've said "yes" to the bi-coastal summer of my dreams.