The Number 1 Thing I See in ALL Women

The number 1 thing I see in ALL women, that keeps them

playing small

judging themselves,

being hard on themselves,

struggling to ask for help

unable to slow down, to rest

is shame.

Shame seeps into every corner of our lives. It’s in our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about ourselves. It shows up in our relationships when we fear vulnerability, in our parenting when we place unrealistic expectations on our kids, and in our careers when we constantly strive for perfection.

Every time we were shamed, judged, criticized, or had huge expectations placed on us growing up, we developed shame – a deep seated fear of not being “enough”

As kids, we needed love and connection to survive. Every time there was a threat to that love, we learned to self-abandon and take on protective patterns. Why? Because it was easier to hate ourselves than to risk having love taken away by our parents. The words we heard growing up became our own internal dialogue.

And then, often without realizing it, we place the same expectations on our own children—judging them, criticizing them, and setting high expectations. And the shame cycle continues.

If you operate from these patterns, know that underneath shame is in the driving seat:

??????????????????????????: As kids, we believed we had to be perfect to be loved and accepted. So we strive for perfection, fearing any mistake means we are not good enough.

??????????-????????????????????????: We learned that relying on others could lead to disappointment or rejection, so we decided to do everything ourselves to avoid that pain.

????????????-????????????????: To ensure we were loved and accepted, we put others’ needs above our own, believing our worth was tied to how well we pleased others.

??????????????????????????????: Fear of failure and judgment can make us put things off, as avoiding tasks seems safer than facing potential shame.

When these patterns are at play, we unconsciously shame our kids by:

???????? ????????????????????????: setting unrealistic standards for our children, thinking we are motivating them, but instead, we’re teaching them that they’re never good enough.

?????????????????? ?????? ????????????????: Correcting our children harshly or frequently criticising them can make them internalise the belief that they are fundamentally flawed.

?????????????????????? ??????????????????: Using love as a reward for good behaviour and withdrawing it as a punishment teaches them that love is conditional.

??????????????????????: Comparing them to siblings or other kids can instill a deep sense of inadequacy and shame.

?????????? ???????????? ?????????????? ???????? ?????? ???????? ?? ???????? ???????? ?????? ???????????????????? ?????? ????????????????.

If you don’t know how to love who you are, or you don’t love who you are, then the love you give is from a place of not enough.

If you want to feel enough, you first have to FEEL those parts of you that dont, you have to process that pain, so that you can release yourself from its tight grip. It requires deep self compassion, self honesty and radical responsibility.

We have to own our s**t. We have to unlearn and relearn what LOVE is.

You have to love yourself enough to take care of you- mind, body and spirit.

When you free yourself of your own shame, you no longer pass that on to your kids.

As long as shame is present, you will struggle to feel joy and inner peace. It will cost you in every area of your life. You will live from a place of fear, not love. Your relationships will never feel like enough, your children won’t be enough, the money you make won’t be enough. The constant mind chatter of “I’m screwing up, I could have done better, I never learn” will keep you stuck in the shame cycle.

Stop beating yourself up. Stop being hard on yourself. Stop judging yourself. Meet that inner girl who never felt enough and embrace her with love, compassion, and acceptance. From there, forgive yourself, be gentle with yourself, nourish yourself back to life.

Only then will you find true joy, inner peace, and fulfillment. Rememer you are enough just as you are.

LOVE heals

P.S. If shame is running shot gun in your life, reach out...in our group coaching program and retreats for women, we clear this bad boy out so that you can start owning your f*****g worth.