Purpose Mentoring

The way you made decisions 5, 10, 15 or 20 years ago: Does it still serve you now? Several of the people I am working with are at pivotal times in their lives. Moving into their 30s or 40s. Taking on more responsibility at work. Moving house. Having children. Lots of different milestones. A theme that we encounter often in therapy is that the way we USED to think, feel, react and make choices isn't working so well any more. This can lead to re-evaluating what is important to us. Are we still motivated by the same desires? Do we have different priorities now? Often, these shifts can be really empowering, both for work and home life. However, these shifts can also come with some sadness - some sense of loss. If you feel 'stuck' right now, or are struggling to make decisions, perhaps some support from an external person can help? Someone who is separate from colleagues, family and friends, and who can help you navigate the uncomfortable feelings that can sometimes come from change. #counselling #therapy #wellbeing

Have you heard of the "5 Ways to Wellbeing"? Research by the New Economics Foundation has found there are 5 ways to look after your mental wellbeing: 1) Connect 2) Be Active 3) Take Notice 4) Keep Learning 5) Give These are summarised in the picture below. I have been tutoring some groups of people who are long-term unemployed, and this "5 Ways" framework has been really helpful in getting everyone motivated. If you are feeling unfulfilled, or if the team around you is lacking energy and motivation, these ideas are well worth exploring. Some things may need tackling on a deeper level, but from a practical perspective these can be a good starting point. #wellbeing #mindset #mentalhealth

Do you want to understand why you act the way you do? Do you want to learn how to recognise when you are feeling a certain way, so you can make clearer decisions? Do you want to feel more comfortable with who you are, both at work and at home? - - - None of these are easy to do by yourself. You may be able to talk to family, friends and colleagues, but can you tell them EVERYTHING (even the messy, embarassing stuff)? And is their 'advice' always that helpful? My name is Steve and I am a qualified counsellor. Sessions with me are a safe, private space to talk about anything you are struggling with - and I can help you get the root of what is REALLY going on. #counselling #therapy #wellbeing

If you suffer from Anxiety, how much can you trust your gut instinct? In my counselling work, this is a dilemma that a few of my clients have encountered. If someone experiences Anxiety on a daily basis, then it can be hard to tell the difference between an 'Anxious Thought' and a 'Gut instinct'. Something might feel 'wrong' - but is this a gut feeling that you should trust, or is it your brain worrying unnecessarily? Over time, and with experience, our decision-making might become more fine-tuned and objective ('Should I apply to this job?', 'How do I confront my manager about this issue?', 'Can I negotiate this deal more strongly?' etc) - but it can also get worse over time if we start to doubt our own abilities, or if we don't recognise the patterns in our behaviour. Talking privately with someone who is separate from colleagues, family and friends can give you a safe platform to explore how and why you have made the choices in your work and home life, and how to make difficult decisions in the present day. If you feel you are struggling with Anxiety on a regular basis, you don't have to go through it alone. #counselling #therapy #anxiety

Do you suffer from a bad back? A lot of people I meet in Purpose sessions are trying to manage the pressures of work and home, whilst also coping with physical difficulties, such as: ?? A bad back ?? Persistent headaches ?? Neck aches ?? Chronic pain across their body ?? Tightness in their shoulders ?? Stomach issues I am not a Doctor, but I have seen and heard so many examples of physical discomfort (bad backs being the most common) that I recognise there is often a genuine link between how we feel emotionally and how we feel physically. We often go to a chiropractor or physiotherapist to help us manage or fix the physical issue. We may go to a doctor to get pain relief medication or a referral. But what about other factors? Do you feel ‘weighed down’ by things? Do you feel you are ‘carrying’ anger, bitterness, resentment, guilt, sadness or other uncomfortable feelings? If so, perhaps these burdens are affecting your physical health. Perhaps, alongside addressing physical issues, it may be helpful to help yourself by working through the personal challenges behind them. This isn’t easy to do, but with the right help it can have a huge impact and help you feel lighter and more free. #counselling #stressmanagement #backpain #health

I have been learning about the 6 "Worker Archetypes" as outlined by Bain & Company, and wanted to share this graphic. Through Bain & Co's research, they identified 6 types of people in the workplace. Briefly, these are: 1) Operator Someone who enjoys making friendships at work and isn't seeking to stand out. Work is necessary, and doesn't provide meaning. Meaning comes from the things we do outside of work. 2) Giver Someone who finds meaning in helping others. Not motivated by money, but inspired by building a strong team spirit and valuing personal growth. 3) Artisan Someone who seeks work that fascinates them, where they can become an expert. Happier to work alone, and inspired by autonomy and mastering their craft. 4) Explorer Someone who values freedom and experiences, and is willing to trade security for flexibility. Less motivated by status, and more excited by variety. 5) Striver Someone who wants to earn lots of money, push for the top and aim for a higher status. This person tends to be more competitive and transactional at work. 6) Pioneer Someone who is on a mission to change the world, do something important and instigate forward-thinking change. They are willing to take risks for the greater good. - - - - Firstly, what would you say sums YOU up the most? It is interesting that some of these archetypes are more rigid (e.g. if you are a Pioneer, you probably have ALWAYS been a Pioneer, ever since you were a child); whereas others are more fluid. For example, a lot of people start their careers as Operators and Strivers, wanting to enjoy the social scene at work, make friends, earn lots of money and progress quickly...but later in life, we may find more fulfillment in helping others (Giver), having more freedom (Explorer) or becoming an expert in what we do (Artisan). If you are feeling 'stuck' at the moment, or aren't feeling as fulfilled at work as you used to, maybe something in YOU has changed? Maybe you have certain needs that aren't being met? #purpose #personality #bain Purpose Mentoring

If you are unhappy in your current job, does your manager know? Would it be so bad to talk about it with them? So often, it gets to the point where someone hands in their notice before a meaningful, real conversation takes place about what has gone wrong. And, in a LOT of cases, if things had been talked about sooner, the outcome could have been different. People are very rarely ‘100% sure’ they are doing the right thing when they resign. There is almost always going to be some uncertainty. Is the grass REALLY greener elsewhere? There are many different reasons why someone moves to a new job, of course. Some are PROACTIVE (higher salary, more responsibility etc) while others are REACTIVE (not feeling valued, lack of ‘progression’ etc). If you are feeling that you should move jobs right now, ask yourself: Are your reasons for leaving more reactive than proactive? If so, it may be a good idea to address your current problems and see if it can make a difference. It may be uncomfortable, but there is nothing worse than looking back in the future with regret for not trying something. I work with many people who are in situations like this. Please get in touch for a confidential chat about what you are going through, and to discuss how talking privately with someone who is completely separate from the situation could really help you right now. #purpose #mentoring #newjob

Hello everyone. I'd like to re-introduce myself to all my new and existing connections on LinkedIn. My name is Steve and here's a little about me. ?? I am a qualified Counsellor with full BACP (British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy) registration. ?? I provide online counselling and mentoring, helping people who are trying to balance a pressurised job alongside personal challenges at home. ?? My clients are in a variety of places including UK, Europe, Middle East and USA, and include business owners, team leaders and sales consultants, in industries such as recruitment, B2B sales, banking and law. ?? Before moving full-time into counselling, I worked in Recruitment for over 17 years, progressing to Managing Director of a life science recruitment agency. I have a good understanding of the challenges you may face in your day-to-day work. You won’t need to explain lots about your job, so we can move quickly into talking about the things that really matter. ?? I am passionate about helping people navigate the challenges that are unique to you, providing a safe, private space that is separate from colleagues, family and friends. This enables you to make clearer, more purposeful decisions and to feel more fulfilled and in control. ?? I strongly believe that our past experiences influence how we think, feel and act as adults. By understanding our past, and making peace with it, we can take more control of our actions now. ?? I have been going to my own therapy, on and off, for 15 years, and have regular supervision to keep developing my counselling skills. ?? My background includes a first-class degree in Experimental Psychology from Oxford University, experience as a volunteer Samaritan, and tutoring groups of people aged 50+ who are unemployed and trying to return to the workplace. ?? I am passionate about the value of using therapy in a positive, proactive way. I long for a world where everyone has some form of regular counselling, because it would have such a positive impact on communication, team performance and resilience at work. ?? Talk to me about the programmes I offer to businesses, including leadership support, improving team communication, and supporting individual employees going through difficult periods of time at work or at home. ?? Finally, one completely random fact about me: I LOVE music. Singing, songwriting, recording, going to gigs. I may not look it, but I am a total metalhead ?? What do I need to know about you? DM me and let's talk! #counselling #wellbeing #mentalhealth

"What kind of leader do you want to be?" Whether you are already in a leadership role, or if this is something you hope to do in the future, this is an important question to ask yourself. No-one ever asked me this question when I stepped into leadership, back in 2007. I became a Team Leader almost by default, and I lacked the self-awareness to realise that I was actually getting in my own way a lot of the time. It took me a few years to develop my leadership style and to get to the point where I understood enough about myself to be fully present for the team. I WANTED to be all of these things: -- Assertive -- Supportive -- Encouraging -- Trusting -- Consistent -- Authoritative -- Loyal -- Energetic ...but on reflection I WASN'T all of these things. I worked on the parts that didn't come so naturally (in particular, being assertive and authoritative), and I like to think that my management abilities improved...but my natural need to be liked, and my competitive drive to always be the best, often got in the way. So, again, ask yourself: "What kind of leader do you want to be?" Because you are also a HUMAN BEING, and you aren't perfect. And this is ok. If you have a sense of the type of leader you want to be, and the impact you want to have on others, this is a great start. It means you can start to identify what you are already doing well, and which parts of your personality are getting in the way. This will help give you insight into the areas you need to develop further. #leadership #management #personality

After a meeting, it can be helpful to look back and evaluate how we did. Analysing our performance, especially alongside feedback from others, can help us learn, grow and make more deliberate choices next time. However, most people's self-talk is with a critical voice. "Why did I say that?" "Why didn't I speak up?" There are different types of WHY - and these ones here aren't overly helpful because they are CRITICAL. When we ask ourselves "Why did I say that?" or "Why didn't I speak up?", the answer will almost always lead to negative thinking. For example: ..."I don't KNOW why I said that. I'm rubbish at this" ..."I didn't speak up because I am too shy" Good news. There is another way! The WHYs above are critical ones. If you change the tone of voice, or perhaps add 2 words ("I wonder") before, then suddenly the Why goes from critical to CURIOUS. "I wonder why I said that" "I wonder why I didn't speak up" Being CURIOUS about why we did or didn't do something enables us to analyse the situation without criticising ourselves. It is a more forgiving, kind and realistic way of looking at what we do, accepting that we are human beings who aren't perfect, and are trying our best. Maybe, the next time you have a meeting at work, a call with a client, an interview, or an exchange with a colleague, try talking to yourself afterwards with a more CURIOUS "Why". You're trying your best - and there's no need to be overly critical of yourself. #negativethinking #meetings #feedback #purpose