How to Be Disciplined When You Just Aren’t

Britney Spears said it best:

“You wanna Maserati, ya gotta work. You wanna hot body, ya gotta work.”

We are all painfully aware that there are no shortcuts to a productive life—one where we accomplish our dreams and face our challenges.

At the age of 45, I had dabbled in running and biking—and joined a few gyms here and there but had never created a consistent habit of working out or eating healthy. I was consistently 20-40lbs overweight and doing just enough to not become obese. I was anything but disciplined and honestly had no idea how I was ever going to become so.

Today, I turn 53 and I am the fittest and most disciplined version of myself. I wish I could tell you it was easy, or there was some magic formula… but there wasn’t for me.

What stopped me and what stops most people isn’t about knowledge. We all know what to do. Eat the right foods and move our bodies in effective ways. I could give you all sorts of tips and advice, but in reality, that isn’t what is stopping you either.

What made the difference for me was two things and they are mostly in the mind:

1. I got present to the pain of what will occur if I keep living the way I have been living.
2. I connected that to my commitment for what I want for my life… and kept the commitment alive in me on a day to day basis.

One of the most consistent things the leaders I coach struggle with is being disciplined with some aspects of their lives. This might be you too.

Try this out:

1. Play the tape forward. Actually write down what will occur if you remain the same level of discipline you have now for the next year, five years, your lifetime.
2. Note that you will still be fine.
3. Get present to the pain of it though. What is the impact on your life if you leave your dreams behind? If you never take that trip to Europe—If you die, like my father did, without ever visiting Sweden which he talked about his whole entire life.
4. Now focus on your commitment. What do you really want?
5. What action—no matter how small moves you towards your commitment. Do it.

I got present to the pain of living an unhealthy lifestyle and I ended up joining a CrossFit gym in 2017. This changed my life. Since then, I have proven myself disciplined in workouts and then disciplined in eating better foods. It took me year after year of doing a little bit better.

Let me know how your journey progresses.

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Past Articles: Neurodiverse Leadership Resource Library

Want more resources on neurodivergent leadership? We are finding and creating resources for you. Watch this section expand every week.

Sept 26: My Boss Doesn’t Listen, Now What?

Sept 20: You Can’t Manage Time—Even if You Have Neurodivergent Superpowers

Sept 13: Breaking Through the "Nerd" Ceiling

Sept 6: You Are Not Alone

Aug 30: More than Ever, Neurodivergent Leaders Need a Coach

Aug 22: The Enneagram and My Leadership

Aug 9: Do You Really Want to Manage Up? Start here!

Aug 1: The Difference Between Good Leaders and Great Leaders is How Much They Care (About People)

July 25: Better Living Through Chemistry—Until There is a Shortage

July 19: Coming Alive is What We Are Meant to Do

July 12: What Is My Purpose? What Happens When High Performers Feel Defeated?

June 28: The Art of Really Listening…Doing a Listening Fast

June 20: "It's Everything"

June 13: Listening to Completion

June 6: Embodying Resilience and Grit

May 23: Taylor Swift Can Do It With a Broken Heart—So Can You!

May 16: Neurodivergent Executives (Like The Yeti but Real)

May 10: Focused and Distracted at the Same Time

May 3: All Brains Belong

April 25: No One Told Me I Couldn’t Do That!!! Expectations vs Agreements & Neurodivergent Leaders

April 19: I Can’t Deal with THIS Person

April 12 : Being Smarter is NOT the Answer

April 5: All Executive Coaching Eventually Becomes "Life Coaching"

Mar 28: The Best Leadership is Service

Mar 22: Neurodiversity Week

Mar 15: Without Empathy We're Without Leadership

Mar 8: You Aren't Who You Think (Or Feel) You Are

Mar 1: Thriving Uniquely vs Suffering in Silence: The Benefits of Confidential Self-Identification for Neurodivergent Leaders

Feb 23: Who Needs Productivity Anyway? Did You See That Squirrel?

Feb 12: Emerging from Shame: Illuminating the Path to Neurodivergent Leadership Brilliance

Feb 1: Always Do Your Best Doesn’t Mean Always Do THE Best

Jan 25: There is Nothing Wrong but Something Is Missing

Jan: 19 What’s a Vision Anyway? Why Can’t They Just Do Their Jobs?

Jan 12: A Day in the Life of a Neurodivergent Leader: Navigating Autistic Demand Avoidance at Work

Jan 5: Redefining Autism: The Power of Self-Identification

Dec 21: Why Am I So Anxious

Dec 14: Cultivating Brilliance in Neurodivergent Leaders

Dec 7: Conversations Matter

Dec 1: The Trouble With Geniuses

Nov 17: Science Lesson

Nov 10: Living from Logic in an Emotional World

Nov 3: Communicating with Precision and Simplicity

Oct 27: Creativity and Innovation

Oct 20: How Neurodiversity is Making a Positive and Innovative Impact

Oct 12: It’s Lonely at the Top—Especially for Neurodivergent Leaders

Oct 6: Simply Different?

Sept 29: ADHD: The Kryptonite of It and Its Superpowers

Sept 21: Nerds (and Geeks) Are Leaders Too!

Sept 14 : Blind Spots: You Can't See Yours

Sept 7: People are More Difficult Than Algorithms

Aug 31: ADHD Kids Become ADHD Adults—but Sometimes the Tools Stop Working

Aug 25: Are you Dumb Enough to Manage Up?

Aug 18: Understanding the Avoidant Employee

Aug 10: Your Leadership is Not Served by You Thinking You are Less Than

Aug 4: Leaders Don't Want to Be Victims

July 20: Are You Overcompensating?

July 13: Why We Need the Outdoors

July 6: It's Not a Bug, It's a Feature

June 29: EMOTIONAL BIDS: What Do We Do When Someone Reaches Out to Us Emotionally?

June 15: The Boxes We Put Ourselves In

June 8: Please Just Tell Me the Answer!

May 25: Dyslexia and Leadership

May 18: Autism and Leadership: Advantages and Challenges

May 11: ADHD and Leadership

May 4: Hi Elon, I'd Like to Be Your Executive Coach

Apr 27: Surprise! Your Motivators are NOT Their Motivators

Apr 14: Managing Up Success Story

Apr 6: The Power of Routine

Mar 30: The Nerd Ceiling and Digital Body Language

Mar 22: Neurodiversity Makes For Better Leaders (Sometimes)

Mar 16: He Only Cares About Himself

Mar 9: Neurodiverse Leaders and the Power of One on One Conversation

Mar 2: What if My Neurodiverse Boss Sucks with People?

Feb 23: Why Am I So Anxious?

Feb 16: The Trouble With Neurodiverse Leadership (Forbes Article)

Feb 9: Your Straight Talk is NOT Authentic Leadership

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