On a Wednesday in April of 2022, I received a call from a Marine Corps Veteran who was a former patient of the program that I managed.?He had been sober for over a year and took to helping others, particularly with suicide prevention among the veterans’ community.?My friend was struggling with patience.?Things weren’t happening as fast as he had hoped.?He wondered how he could prove to people he had changed.?After some lengthy discussion, we agreed that it was simply about doing “the next right thing.”
We talked for over an hour while I was driving, and when I reached my home, our conversation drew to a close.?He said, “This conversation was really helpful. ?Do you mind if I call you more often?”?I replied, “Of course!?This helped me, too, brother.?That’s what it’s about in recovery.”
Four days later, on Sunday, he shot and killed himself.
I found out when I got to work on Monday, and another counselor told me she had gotten a phone message that was for me.?I was devastated.?I tried to make it about me and what I missed in our phone call, and how I was responsible, the usual. ?But I knew better.?People don’t give away their belongings before they kill themselves.?They talk about the future, they talk about hope, and they ask if they can call more often.?
This loss transformed my approach.?I got to work and brought in trainers to teach us how to deal with suicide in the first responder and veteran community.?I learned quickly that we did not talk about suicide enough.?We did not foster a safe environment where veterans and first responders felt comfortable talking about the reality that they were considering killing themselves.?I started a program almost immediately where my team and I talked about suicide in special groups regularly.?The program led to at least two veterans we know of making calls in the middle of the night for help.?
I have carried these ideas and principles to the PA Recovery Center and the HEROES Program in the form of the ZERO HEROES initiative. ?Our pledge is to provide a safe space for someone in pain to talk about it, with zero of our heroes lost to suicide.
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