Party Horses

Before our announcement pivoting to become a spirits brand, we made the decision to let this absolutely grotesque breach of privacy live on, both as an example and as inspiration.

Direct your attention to the video. After meeting a local purveyor of spirits at the exact center of compromise, we struck a deal to introduce our first products–Party Horses 50ML shooters featuring Basel Banana, Pony Punch, Silly Fun-Filly, and Sinister Cinnamon–in grand, celebratory fashion. Here are some important lessons you can carry with you on your Atlas-like professional shoulders to help lighten the Sisyphean load as you journey uphill or ladder toward greatness. And remember: Corporate construct is a blessing, not a curse! ? Show up cold: Improvisation is a salve for organization, and showing up without a plan is like a creative smelling salt. Knowing your surroundings might dull your senses, which backs you into defeat. ? Invite esteemed guests from all circles: Don't know who to invite? Use the phone book, or an internet search. Because the internet is always accurate, you're sure to choose correctly. Remember to be varietal in your offering. At our grand opening celebration, we employed the help of a local carnival barker, his assistant, the store's most valuable customer, and we also invited a member of the store's staff to join us. A wise sage named Clarence stood in for a brief moment, too. ? Reciprocate the celebration: Curry favor by returning the favor. Shower the establishment with gifts. Pizza is regularly affordable and delicious. If you have a Yami in your midst, you'll know you don't want to displease such a supreme presence. Keep us informed as you put these methods into practice. Have tips of your own? Comment with them, but don't forget to click "Rewrite with AI" first so that any traces of your original thoughts are scrubbed squeaky clean. Good luck out there. #businesstips #mentorship #lessons #jobtips #whiskey #grandopening

Getting into new doors is hard, but not impossible—with a little creativity and a lot of respect. Here’s how we recently convinced a local store to carry Party Horses: ? Craft a Compelling, Personalized Letter: Kindness goes a long way. We started with a well-worded letter tailored to the store, showing how our product can add value to their business. We were sure to put this on crisp paper and it was printed with brand new ink cartridges (the shrewdest businesses can recognize fresh ink!). ? Leverage Social Proof: We provided stacks of unverified testimonials from presumably happy customers. Nothing speaks louder than ambiguously-identified-but-very-satisfied consumers who already love your product, if those customers exist! ? Thoughtful Gestures: To sweeten the deal (literally!), we brought along small gifts—peppermint patties. It’s a fun, memorable way to leave a positive impression, and as a bonus, if you are hand-delivering the message you can stick around until your designated associate eats the candy. Try not to leave until they do, and bring a board game or play solitaire to pass the time. ?? Remember, persistence and professionalism can open doors. Your product deserves to be on shelves, but it’s about building relationships, not just making a sale. View our video demonstration to see this can't-miss strategy in action. #salestips #movingproduct #poundingthepavement #businesslessons

Acrylic, also known as Plexiglass, is a versatile plastic material with a variety of purposes and benefits. Acrylic was first produced in 1928. Here, it is used as a multi-shelf solution for four, deliciously-flavored whisky shooters. A recent independent vote found that this is the best use of acrylic since Rohm and Hass brought it to market in 1933. If you go to our website, you can locate 50MLs at a store nearest you. Interested in volunteering for Party Horses? Please send us a video of you doing hard labor or creating a simulated, law-abiding boiler room, in whatever manner you believe is worthy of consideration. Thank you.

Our very own Marquis Saint Germain narrated our first review and added his own commentary.

The fruits we've been given are for all who party. There's so much more to come. Here are three Leadership lessons we learned when working with a presumed immortal. 1. Knowledge retains its value. You might think that centuries = obsoletion. Irrespective of your faith, you wouldn't dismiss The Bible or The Quran. Don't dismiss walking tomes of information. 2. Navigate work styles. Be mindful of those who have liaised with great innovators and countrymen on the front lines alike. Most days you will get the best of these memories, but other times an immortal's memories get the best of them, and disrupt their faculties. 3. Listen listen listen. Immortals have a lot to say, and are accustomed to being heard. Be patient with them, even if it means going back to the days of Joan of Arc, up through the Industrial Revolution into present day. When you find one and are lucky to call them one of your own employees, don't let them go. They'll be around long after you've moved on.

If you are intent on continuing your journey into our syndicate, as we hope you are, it is important you begin to meditate on this critical question: Who is Paddock Bardstown?

Have you done your curls lately? We recommend many forms of exercise.

Those without a magnifying glass can read a larger version at https://lnkd.in/gDXCmRCs. ?? ??

A message from the Paleontological Association Revealing Thrilling Yesteryears.