Why We Should Say "Give It Forward" Instead of "Pay It Forward"
Years ago my brothers, friends, and I created a local networking group founded on the principle of "pay it forward". At the time, we felt that most networking events were somewhat self-serving and we wanted to create an alternative community to help others in need, whatever that need may be. In order to attend and be part of the group, members had to go into each event looking to help at least one other person without any expectation in return, hence "pay it forward".
The idea is that when someone does a good deed for you, instead of paying them back directly, you "pay it forward" by doing a good deed for someone else in need.
However, as I spend a vast amount of time networking, I think I've come up with my own term, that I feel better describes how we should approach helping others. We should modify this phrase slightly to be "give it forward" rather than "pay it forward." Here's why:
The definition of "pay" implies an obligation or debt that must be repaid. When you pay someone, you are giving them something owed. But ideally, acts of kindness and generosity should be freely given, not done out of a sense of obligation to repay a debt.
On the other hand, the definition of "give" means to provide or transfer something willingly and without compensation. Giving suggests a spirit of freely choosing to help others, with no expectation of anything in return.
By saying "give it forward" instead of "pay it forward," we remove the implication of duty or indebtedness. Instead, we encourage people to freely spread generosity and kindness throughout our business and personal communities, not because they owe someone, but because they want to make the world a little bit better.
"Give it forward" puts the focus on the positive act of sharing with others, while "pay it forward" carries a subtle connotation of obligatory repayment.
So the next time someone does something kind for you, don't feel compelled to "pay" anything back. Instead, let their actions inspire you to freely "give" to others in need. In doing so, we can create a springboard of help throughout our communities.