Ordinary Hero Coaching

Given the choice between being indispensable or irrelevant, which label best describes your intention? It seems obvious. You want to be indispensable, right?? You don’t want to sit on the bench. You want to be on the field. You want to make the game winning play. When people count on you, they tend to want you around. You matter. If you were irrelevant to? your team (or your employer), why would they keep you? No. You have to be indispensable. Unfortunately, there is a tendency to get . . . comfortable. Too comfortable. You dig in. Fortify your position. You stop playing offense and focus on defense. You perceive new talent, innovation, or opportunity as a threat. At this point, you’ve abdicated your influence as a leader. Your focus is not on team performance. It’s on survival. The limit of your own capability becomes the limit of advance for the company. Only people less capable than you can join the team so you can protect what’s yours. When everyone in the organization does this, the team will quickly become irrelevant. This is how you lose. The intention is different in the military. Jobs are transitory by nature. The currency of the military organization is the people. Most commanders (including me) contend that the best measure of success is that the organization keeps rolling along even in your absence. The stakes are too high, and you can’t be everywhere. So you coach. You teach. You mentor. You build and expand the capacity and capability of the people. You set the conditions so that your people don’t just survive - BUT THRIVE - when you aren’t around. What endures is the example you set for the rest of the team. You seek to make yourself - irrelevant to the continuing success of the organization. Consequently, you don’t shy away from the best talent. You seek it out. You want to surround yourself with people who are better than you. That will push you to be at your best. As a result, you grow. You get better, and so does everyone around you. You create a dynamic, high performing team that actively seeks the most difficult challenge - and these become the teams that will inevitably dominate their environment. Performance objectives are black and white. Potential is not. You might be indispensable for your organization today, but at some point, the organization that bets on its people is coming for you. So, how would you label the leaders in your organization? #militarytransition #coaching #coachingcertificaiton #militaryleadership

Military leaders have a certain way of telling their story. They start with context - “There I was . . .” We expand on the foreboding challenges - “Oh, by the way . . .” We offer a cogent description about what happened and conclude with an affirmation about mission accomplishment. We tell stories like this for two reasons. First, we come from a culture of forced humility. You aren't supposed to talk about yourself. Second, we make assumptions when speaking within the military community. Imagine if I were to share a story about a time when I was the operations officer planning a military operation in Afghanistan. Most service members know - at least generally - what an operations officer does. So, if I were to detail all the actions and ways that I contributed to the planning and execution of the operation, at some point, you would probably get a little impatient. You might even be insulted. After all, you know what an operations officer does. You don’t need me to break it down for you. That role familiarity doesn’t hold when it comes to storytelling in the civilian world. Everyone has a story. Any conversation you have is an opportunity to share your story. All of them are interesting and exciting in their own ways. Understand how your story creates value for your audience. I may captivate my audience with harrowing stories about high risk MEDEVAC missions in combat, but unless my audience has an interest in helicopter operations and casualty evacuation, that story doesn’t land well in a networking or hiring situation. Sometimes the pinnacle event is not the best way to communicate your value. So, start by looking left of the pinnacle event. In the MEDEVAC example, consider all the things that were necessary to make that mission happen. Training management, leader development, and team building. Talent management combined with operational analysis in theater to mix and match crews to mitigate risk. Process optimization to alert, marshal, brief, and launch the crew in under 10 minutes. Dynamic project management to resource daily MEDEVAC requirements against resource constraints - aircraft break. People break. Still have to meet all those operational requirements. Building and managing relationships across different hospitals operated by different stakeholders - some who speak different languages with their own procedures for patient processing. Now remember, I am STILL talking about the MEDEVAC mission, but notice that I am doing it in an entirely different way. Perhaps in a way that best communicates how I can create VALUE. Understand what is important to you audience - mission, values, job description, etc. Identify a pinnacle event from your career and look left of that event - and you will probably find plenty of examples of how you might create VALUE for your audience. Adam Silva #militarytransition #professionalcoaching

BE YOU. Your fallibility is your greatest asset. In vulnerable situations, we have a subconscious instinct to hide. We seek cover and concealment. The military gave us a proverbial suit of armor for that. The uniform provided the identity. The flag was a symbol of respect and honor. The tabs and badges that showcased our skills and accomplishments validated our competence. The patch on the right shoulder inspired reverence. These garments represent something deeper to us. Qualities we’ve internalized. In many cases, these qualities are a representation of the best of who we are. So, it is understandable that when we begin engaging organizations and leaders across civilian society, we want to project these qualities. How do we do that? Well, size matters. We talk about the hundreds or thousands of people in our formations. We manage assets valued in the millions or billions of dollars. We describe strategic and enterprise level impacts. When it comes to making connections with people outside the military culture, none of it matters.?In the effort to impress, we widen the gap that already exists. I am not saying the general public disrespects your service. Quite the contrary. The issue is one of context. It’s not their fault. You are a small (and shrinking) percentage of the population. Think about it. How do you want them to respond when you start describing your scope of responsibility in a unit larger than the entire organization you seek employment for? Do you want them to fire the CEO and put you in charge? You are trying to sell yourself using monopoly money as currency. It is simply not relatable. Fall back on the human qualities and lean into your vulnerability. Expose the person behind the uniform. I encourage every military leader I coach to begin their pitch or narrative with their origin story. Why? Because everyone has one. It is relatable - on a human level. Just like fallibility. It leaves a strong emotional signature, and emotion is the key to human connection. Your ability to navigate setbacks and challenges will probably showcase your strengths in a way that better resonates with your audience. The qualities of the military journey are different, but the qualities of our humanity are the same. This is what we inspire leaders to do at Ordinary Hero Coaching. We train military leaders to harness this as a source of inspiration and learn how to leverage your WHO to inspire others. So, have the courage to lean into your vulnerability and connect with your audience on a deeper level . . . the fallibility you seek to hide is your greatest asset. Adam Silva #militarytransition #coaching #veteranleadership

No . . . no. . . . NO! I am NOT doing sales. This is a common theme I hear from military leaders looking for civilian careers. If you recoil when you consider the idea of sales, I’ve got two things to say to you. First, if you’ve been successful throughout your career, you already know how to sell. Second, EVERY job involves sales. I know. The idea of “sales” feels dirty. Just the thought conjures the image of a cheap used car dealer or the door to door salesman. You don’t want to monetize your rolodex. You don’t want your compensation based on the idea that you have to close a deal. Yes, this is one form of sales. At Ordinary Hero Coaching, we don’t do it like that. You don’t either. To the first point, if you have been on a task force, served as a liaison officer, worked in the interagency, or partnered with a coalition force, I’ve got news for you. Sales was a critical part of the job. You sold your capability. You sold the quality of your work - reliability, dependability, and trust. Your focus was on creating value. Not a transaction. You invested the time and energy to build a partnership - a mutually beneficial relationship for value creation toward a meaningful objective. To the second point - the mindset of approaching sales from the perspective of value creation means that every?job involves sales. Employment is not an entitlement. You have to sell your capabilities and potential to an employer. They pay you a salary based on the VALUE you create for the organization. If you don’t create value, you won’t be employed very long. So, how do you overcome your aversion to sales? Start with what worked in the past. (1) Choose a value proposition that aligns with your purpose. If you don’t feel good selling gadgets to the military, it is probably because you don’t believe in the value you are creating. At Ordinary Hero Coaching, we believe that veteran leaders have the potential to transform society. That is our commitment. If you don’t believe in what you sell - nobody else will either. (2) Focus on building the partnership - not the transaction. This means that you have to put the needs of the client ahead of your need to close the sale. That should sound a lot like the servant leader approach. Adam and I are willing to work with future coaches to find the best options for them. Even if it is not us. Our passion is about empowering veteran leaders FIRST. (3) Be patient. A partnership is one of mutual ENDURING benefit. A “no” today might be “yes” tomorrow, or the possibility of something even BETTER. That's why you focus on the relationship. Some jobs come with a commission. Some don’t. All involve sales. Choose something that aligns with your passion. Focus on the partnership. Bet on the potential that the best option is one that you have yet to consider. #militarytransition #coaching #coachcertification

What is the bias that veterans have toward civilian leaders in Corporate America? Veterans are not above stereotypes and unconscious biases. Again, I share this without judgment. Understanding is the first step to bridge the widening gap between veterans and nonveterans across society. The military is a very insulated community with a unique culture. Many career service members began their military journey immediately after high school (or college). The military became a surrogate parent. They told you when to wake up. Where to go. What to wear. They fed you. Protected you. Cared for you. You were fully committed to this family . . . and then you leave. You step out into the world for the first time as you enter middle age. What shapes your perception of the civilian world is largely based on what dominates the headlines. The Enron scandal. The housing crisis. Corporate executives receiving bonuses while simultaneously laying off employees. Big corporations are grabbing money at the expense of their values and their people. Profit - not purpose - drives the corporate culture. Yes, this is a problem that exists in the same way mental illness is a problem in the veteran community, but it doesn’t represent all of Corporate America. I invite you to look up Truline Industries. Notice the images of school children on their homepage. This company donates 20 percent of their profits to a nonprofit called Convoy of Hope to support education in underprivileged communities around the world. They make fuel bearings for high performance aircraft. Fuel bearings. I visited their plant in Chesterfield, Ohio. Amazing culture. Rivals some of my units. Dan Price, CEO of Gravity Payments, reduced his salary to increase the pay of his employees. I worked with a personal security company that purchased a luxury box in San Diego for the sole reason of allowing their employees to take their families to Padres games. The point is, there are good companies doing great things across this country.??? Companies are profit driven because that is what keeps people employed. It allows employees to feed their families. It doesn’t mean they don’t care. It doesn’t mean they don’t have values. It doesn’t mean they don’t have a higher calling than the almighty dollar. Could they be better? Maybe. Perhaps that is something you can help with - one person at a time - when you show up for your first day of work. That’s our mission at Ordinary Hero Coaching

What are some of the biases that civilian organizations have toward veterans? On the flip side, what are some of the biases that veterans have toward civilian organizations? Unconscious biases. We all have them. The civilian world has a bias toward the veteran community, and veterans have biases toward the civilian world. I share this without judgment. The absence of facts creates a gap in understanding that we fill with assumptions. Our brain will subconsciously make inferences or connections to make sense of unknown phenomena based on the information available. In many cases, the information we have available includes what we read in books, watch in movies, or hear on the news. Not always the most accurate (or fair) representation. Today, I will talk about the bias that exists toward the veteran community, and tomorrow, I will address the bias that veterans have for Corporate America. Yes, there is a bias that exists toward the veteran. This is the result of a social evolution over the last 50 years. When we eliminated the draft, the all-volunteer force became more professional - and much smaller. Service was no longer an obligation. Consequently, less than 6 percent of the workforce today has prior military experience. In 20 years, it will be less than 3 percent. Most Americans don't have first hand knowledge of the military or veteran experience. They generalize their perception based on prevailing information presented through media platforms. Solicitation for homelessness, mental illness, suicide and suicide prevention, and the images of severely wounded warriors significantly shape the narrative of today’s veteran. Because they serve in the military, they are aggressive. We’ve all seen Full Metal Jacket and internalized the caricature of the drill instructor hazing new recruits. The impression is that veterans are broken, hostile if not violent, and just do what they are told. If you are a veteran reading this and it pisses you off, GOOD! That’s the point. I do not mean to diminish the very real challenges from 20 years of war, but we are so much more. That narrative shouldn’t define us. Military leaders are inherently experts at human interaction. Remember, we don’t have a draft. People make extraordinary sacrifices doing really hard work, and they still want to be there. They are masters at developing future leaders through coaching and mentoring. They understand how to design an organization and build the systems to optimize performance and potential. They build relationships through trust. They solve hard problems. Wicked hard problems. Normally across national and cultural boundaries. In every case, these leaders are required to excel at the strategic, operational, and even tactical levels of an organization.?? What is the story you want to tell? There is only one true voice for your story. And you tell it with more than words. Adam Silva Shauna Springer, Ph.D. #militarytransition #ordinaryherocoaching

“Why does every military leader want to come into a new job and start changing things?” I hear this alot from corporate executives. Veterans have a reputation as change agents. Whether you need it or not. We may wait the cursory 90 days before the upheaval begins, but rest assured, it's coming. Admit it. We do this. From the first day on the job, we begin assessing the organization. We ruminate about how to make it better. Whether you follow Kotter, Lewin, or some other theory, the challenges of managing change are the same for both military and non military organizations alike. What is different is the dynamism of the organization. Military units are in a constant state of disruption. People come and go. Deployments. Major training exercises. Inspection schedules. New equipment fieldings. Major equipment overhauls. New leadership every two years. In your younger days, you probably marveled with how “screwed up” the unit was before you showed up. I know I did. I was enamored with the possibility to “fix” what was “broken.” It became how I created value in a new organization. It was how I made a difference. As you got more experienced, your perspective changed (or at least I hope it did). You started to recognize that the problem set facing you was much different from the one the previous regime was facing. Different problems mean different priorities. Plus, your resources and constraints were different - people, equipment, training opportunities, and deployment timelines - to name a few. It isn't that the previous leadership failed. They had a different challenge and responded accordingly. When you leave, the next commander will do the same. Non-military organizations are not as . . . dynamic. Turnover is less. Leadership is more stable. Organizations may grow, but their missions are fairly stable. While corporations go through change, it is not nearly as frequent as it is in the military. Regardless of these differences, you approach new jobs like this because it is what you’ve always done. It works. You make your assessments. You build your plans for improvement. You begin implementation. And - you piss off everyone in the organization. You didn’t mean to. This was how you created value. This was how you made a difference. I would say, “Be patient,” but I know that isn’t easy. Old habits die hard. Instead, reorient that drive for change to recalibrate all the experiential learning from the military for culturally appropriate applications in a non-military environment. That’s right. Focus your penchant for change on you. That’s what transition is all about. Leverage that leadership and interpersonal skills to build meaningful relationships outside the uniform. Build trust. You might even get to a point when they invite you to make a change. When they do, you’ll know how to apply your wisdom to create value. In life beyond the military, you will make a difference. This is what we do Ordinary Hero Coaching Adam Silva #militarytransition

"The Spendthrift Moral act is the practical one. The expedient cozy dog move comes to grief. When given the choice between being a good soldier or a good human being . . . always choose to be a good human being." This quote comes from Sam Damon, the main character in Anton Myrer’s novel, Once An Eagle. The book follows the journey of two army officers - Courtney Massengale and Sam Damon. Both were successful. Massengale was a careerist. Checked the right boxes. Cared about himself. Sam was more “blue collar.” Took the harder path and embraced who he was - for better or worse. Leaders typically admire the persona of Sam Damon and despise Massengale. “Sam Damon” or “Courtney Masengale” became labels - Army parlance for good or bad leadership. The assumption - of course - is that everyone aspires to be Sam Damon. Conversely, we are quick to point out the Massengales. It’s easier to notice bad leadership in others. Harder to see it in yourself. My farewell gift to junior leaders was a statue of Saint Michael with an engraving of that very quote. I also gave them a copy of Myrer’s book. I did it as a reminder. I believed that the best soldiers were great human beings first. I still believe that. But in life after the military, I think there is a deeper meaning. Military leaders want to help people. They want to do something that has purpose. They want to make a difference - a meaningful contribution. However . . . many shy away from the risk that comes with it. They want security - the peace of mind that comes from the expedient, cozy dog move. Being a good soldier means falling in. Doing what society expects of you. Get a job with a decent title. Good pay. Nice car. Save money for the future. Be safe. The comfort comes at a cost. The person you once were might soon become indistinguishable from the rest of the formation. Dreams begin to wither. Potential shrinks in the malaise of mediocrity. Many years from now, when you arrive at the end, you may look back with a hint of sadness. What might have been? Being a good human being means being the fullest expression of who you are. Honoring your values. Expressing your talents and strengths. Pursuing your purpose. Yes, there is risk. The journey isn’t easy, but reward is worth the risk. So, take a chance on that job. Pursue your business. Write that book. Become a coach. Join the band. Bet on your potential. Be authentic. Be YOU. You may stumble. You might falter. Setbacks are part of life. Along the way, others - including those you hold most dear - might? be inspired themselves. One of them might even change the world. They are looking for someone to follow. Are you ready to lead? Every day comes with a choice. An internal battle between the angel and the demon- Sam Damon or Courtney Massengale. So, which one do you choose today? Adam Silva #militarytransition #ordinaryherocoaching #professionalcoaching #veteranleadership

I often get asked "Why would I need a coach?" This article does a great job of articulating several reasons why it is helpful not only for individuals, but their employers as well - everything from self-awareness and teamwork to culture and retention. #coaching #professionaldevelopment