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?? We were never going to lunch & learn our way to liberation. What we want is training opportunities that prioritize inclusive leadership COMPETENCIES as opposed to merely getting leaders to COMPLY with an arbitrary standard of allyship. Competencies that can be used in day-to-day life right away like trust and relationship building across difference, conflict transformation and managing emotions/uncertainty during vulnerable situations. ?? Pronouns in e-mail signatures were never going to create a culture of inclusion for all genders. What we want is healthy organizations where nobody has to feel boxed in by outdated leadership expectations and definitions of how men or women are supposed to show up at work. Organizations where we can name and interrogate gender norms that are harmful to everyone. ?? Contracting out the work of embedding LGBTQ inclusion to unpaid, volunteer LGBTQ staff was never going to do anything other than burn out our best and brightest talent. What we want is systems, such as hiring processes, that are engineered for fairness, from position description to hiring decision. Otherwise, why are we asking the LGBTQ ERG to refer their peers if we are setting those referrals up to fail in a biased process that doesn't prioritize merit? ?? Making straight white men feel like their only role is to "be quiet and listen" was never going to cultivate the allyship and advocacy we need from the top. At a DEI event for one of my clients, the straight-white-male-chief-marketing-officer confided in me that he wasn't sure that he was supposed to be in the room. He didn't want to "take up space." As I probed deeper, it was clear that, in his mind, he needed to be a perfect ally BEFORE he got into that room or risk some kind of call out. This was an emotionally intelligent and empathetic leader so the fact that HE was unsure if he belonged in that room made me realize that there was something deeply wrong with how we were building bridges with other people in power. ?? The Human Rights Campaign Corporate Equality Index was never supposed to be a substitute for real measurement and accountability. What we really want is organizations that prove inclusion is a core value by measuring the LGBTQ communities trust in leadership, their engagement, retention and recruitment rates. We want to incentivize leaders to close gaps. We want to simultaneously looking at how individual behaviors need to evolve and how systems need to be reworked so that the right behaviors become default. ?? Making the LGBTQ community compete for attention and resources against other marginalized groups was only going to lead to infighting and oppression olympics. What we really want is coalition building across communities, identifying shared interests and barriers and joining our advocacy powers to get solutions for problems that we all experience.