Are algorithms raising our boys?
Over 12 years ago, I led the Raising Boys section of The Good Men Project as a Senior Editor.
Aleasa Word, M.A., CAMS-I,CTSS,CSMC,CEQA and I built a space where parents, educators, and coaches could have honest conversations about raising boys in the 21st century.
The work was personal.
I grew up surrounded by men hanging out with my brother and his friends.
I’m raising two sons.
One of the projects I started was called "What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be?"
We asked middle and high school boys to map their journey from adulthood to where they were. We explored questions such as:
Who were the men that shaped them?
What behaviors got them ahead?
How were they showing up in the world?
And then, we asked them the most important question of all:
What steps do you need to take right now to become that man?
Most of the boys had never been asked to think about these questions.
It was an attempt to give young men something too many don't often get: the space to reflect on masculinity before the world defines it for them.
I saw the power of guiding boys through this journey with curiosity instead of control.
But now, someone else is asking.
Misogynistic influencers, incel culture, and power-hungry role models are preaching power without responsibility.
So instead of asking, "Why are young men drawn to these influences?" what if we asked:
Where do boys feel seen, heard, and valued?
Who is giving them a sense of belonging and purpose?
What values are shaping their idea of manhood?
Are we giving boys the space to explore masculinity before the internet does it for them?
If we don’t ask these questions, we leave boys to find the answers on their own.
PS.
Check out Cedric Scott, Jr. M.Ed. 's I AM THE ALGORITHM Leadership in Action.
Cindy Gallop's Make Love, Not Porn.
#masculinity #leadership #curiosity #equity #misogyny
