How tight is your grip on your life right now?
Quick story time...
My Uber to the airport was twice the normal price this morning. I'm more than halfway to becoming "a native New Yorker", so I opted to take the train. No problem. ??
When I got to the airport I immediately understood why there was a surge. The AirTrain was inoperable. Everyone was being directed to take a shuttle bus to their terminal.
Still, no problem. ??
I travel a lot. I make sure to build in extra time for shenanigans. Aside from an occasional melt down, I typically respond well to travel inconvenience (like last week when my flight was delayed for an hour+ due to a flat tire ????)
This morning, I was feeling all high and mighty, totally unbothered, having planned everything to a tee. I was like teflon. As long as my flight schedule didn't change, I was good. ????
But apparently, I needed a nudge today. A reminder to sit down and be humble. I try to listen closely when life speaks to me ??
So, there I was, on the "shuttle" (a city Metro bus). We were packed like sardines. Folks with luggage, coats, wheelchairs, strollers, and all the things.
There was hardly any room to move. I'm balancing my luggage between my legs with a backpack and large purse weighing on my shoulders. And I'm holding on tight.
As soon as we got to the first stop I had loosen my grip. My hand was throbbing in pain. I took a few deep breaths as we shuffled around for folks to get off and on. Then on to the second stop we went.
NOW, I can be stubborn sometimes. ?? I've come a long way, but there still work to be done. So, I didn't get the message initially. It wasn't until the second stop (after more pain and discomfort in my hand and wrist, and now in other parts of my body) that I realized...
I don't need to hold on so tight. ??
I was rigid. I was tense. I was in pain! I'm sure my whole face was frowned. Nothing about me was giving demure. ??
So why was I holding on beyond what was serving me?
It's an old pattern, from old wounds, that shows up from time to time to remind me when I'm gripping too tightly for control.
The opportunity before me was to trust the process and be present to the experience. But I was too tightly wound to consider anything or anyone around me. Very familiar. ??
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I didn't need to hold on at all. The conditions made for a rough ride and the driver didn't instill much confidence. Compassion was not his assignment today.
But still...
I didn't need to be a source of my own suffering. ??
Thanks JFK Airport for the inconvenience that allowed me to pause and reflect. I made it to my destination and can move through the rest of my day with grace. ????
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I'm sharing this to invite you to reflect on your grip. Are there any places you can ease up a bit? What would it look like to trust the process? What pain might it alleviate?
Feel free to share your reflection in the comments or DM me to connect 1:1 ??