LDR Leadership Labs

What we already know is undervalued. What we don't yet know mostly overvalued. If we were to simply start with, "what do I know to do?" Dare ask ourselves, "what do I want?" No really, "what do I actually want?" How simple might life be. We convince ourselves that there is a recipe for success, a formula for happiness, a proven path for performance. Then why, with so many books written on the subject, do we continue our search, continue to seek, eluded by the result, but for a moment or two. Perhaps it's simpler than that. Perhaps there is no one path, Perhaps there is only our path. And what better way to follow our path than to ask: "What do, I, know?" "What do, I, want? What do I, actually, want?"

THE ILLUSION & THE GAME We often complicate leadership. We make it this complex thing that we must study, understand and get really good at. Most of the time, rather than help us, this approach works against us. At its simplest form, leadership, your career and performance comes down to a simple distinction, the illusion and the game. Let’s start with the illusion. Most of what clients come to me for has to do with the illusion. The illusion of a problem that mostly lives in our imagination and in a reality that we’ve created, though we don’t see it this way when we’re in it. The illusion in this instance includes everything that if we had amnesia, would seize to be a problem. Let’s consider this for a moment. Confidence. If you woke up tomorrow with amnesia, would your lack of confidence be a problem? No, not as far as I can see. Confidence is not real in the way a chair is real. I can see a chair. I can feel a chair. I can sit in a chair. By contrast, I can not see confidence with my eyes. I can not feel it with my hands and I certainly can not sit on it. (though trying might be a fun game). Confidence is something that we point to, that we have a felt sense of, but doesn’t exist in the same way that a chair exists. Why then do we give it so much credence? When we really look at confidence, consider what it actually is, we start to see that it is part of the illusion, and not the game. It’s something nebulous that we point to when we are attempting to make sense of what is happening in our lives. Doubt works in a similar way. It’s an illusionary concept that we point towards to explain the circumstances that we are living. I can not put my doubt in a bag and put it out on the curb with the rest of my trash. And yet, I look to it for why I’m not getting ahead, why I’m not doing the things that I’m certain would change everything for me. But what is doubt, but a random thought that I’ve had and grabbed onto. What more is it than an element of the illusion of life. A thought-created art piece that I’ve painted, stopped to look at, and decided that THIS painting is the reason why things are not going well, not noticing that I’m standing in the middle of a large gallery full of paintings and blank canvases. Once we see that we are living in the illusion (rather than in the game - more on that at a later date), we can decide to not grab on so tightly. We can lean back and see it for what it is. A simple painting that we’ve created, and rather than walk past it to the next painting, we’ve innocently stopped and stayed longer than is useful. We’ve mistakenly decided that our life IS the painting, rather than notice that we’re in a gallery with an infinite number of paintings to choose from. We’ve forgotten that we are not the paintings we create, but rather the powerful painter with the ability to create a new masterpiece in an instance.

"How are things with you?" A common answer I hear from competent and successful women to this question is, "busy!" Busy at work. Busy personally. Busy. As someone that loves her work, has three kids that play rep sports, cares for her elderly parents and enjoys a social life, I understand the feeling of having multiple demands on my time. I, like many of my friends, colleagues and clients, have the experience of feeling B.U.S.Y! Other times however, despite the list of demands being the same, life seems to be balanced and taken care of. I effortlessly move from one thing to the next, without much thought about what I've done and what I still have to do. I simply do what needs to get done, and when that's complete, I move to the next thing that occurs to me. I'm simply in the experience of "doing". Once I started to notice that despite my circumstances, my experience could and was often different, I started to get really curious about the source of feeling busy! Why was it that sometimes I felt busy and overwhelmed, and others at peace with all of it? The multiple demands on my time and attention was the same, but my experience of these demands felt different. Why? If my life wasn't the source of my "busy" feeling, what was? And what do I do about it when I notice it? These are some of the questions we will be exploring in the Languishing to Thriving Mastermind. This Mastermind is a?small group program?that I’m offering?female leaders?with a colleague and dear friend of mine,?Jacqueline Chapman, a prior C-level executive, founder of Valeo Leadership and certified Coach. Here are a few details: >> Who is this program for? The program is for women that are feeling stressed, overwhelmed and drained. They're ambitious, high achieving women, but they’re feeling the burden of taking it all on. They may be noticing that they have a shorter temper, growing doubts and insecurities, or a general sense of disengagement. >> What will we explore together? With a small group (max. 10) of women facing similar challenges we’ll explore the science and nature of high performance, doubts and fears, joy, self compassion and vitality. >>How do I learn more? You can learn more about the program in two ways. 1. Take a look at my website 2.?Reach out to me directly to book a time to chat If you're ready to approach work and life from a more grounded place, if you want to explore the source of flow and joy and want to do it in community, reach out.