JenFryTalks

When we’re anxious, we create worst-case scenarios in our heads—turning small concerns into fire-breathing dragons. But have you ever stopped and actually written down: What’s the worst thing that could happen? Most of the time, it’s not as bad as we think. Instead of jumping to the extreme 0.0001% possibility, we need to focus on the reality—what’s most likely to happen, not the outlier at the end of the bell curve. And beyond that, we need to check the stories we tell ourselves. How many friendships, relationships, or work conflicts have spiraled because of assumptions? I once heard a speaker say she and her friend started calling it knitting a sweater—whenever they caught themselves making up a whole narrative in their heads, they’d acknowledge it: "Girl, I just knitted a whole cardigan over nothing." My Chief of Staff and I say it now too. That’s the thing—so often, we react emotionally to stories, not facts. So before you spiral, ask yourself: Am I knitting a sweater? #Mindset #EmotionalIntelligence #Leadership

Let’s talk about the emotional side of entrepreneurship. I don’t care how good your idea is—if you’re not prepared for the emotional whiplash that comes with being a founder, this journey will eat you alive. In the latest Five with Fry episode, I bring back my mentor and startup coach Ty Smith for part two of our conversation. We get into the hard stuff—rejection, feedback, competition, and why founders (especially Black and Brown founders) need to stop trying to do it all alone. Here are some hard truths we cover: ??“No” doesn’t mean never—it might just mean “not yet.” ??Your idea might be great—but if you can’t pitch it, you’re missing the mark. ??Feedback isn’t personal (even if it stings). It’s data. And it can save you from wasting time and money. ??You’re not just competing with other products—you’re competing with buses, scooters, walking. Do your competitor research. ??Scarcity mindset is killing our communities. Stop treating other founders like your enemy. Ty said something that hit: “Feedback in a startup will save you—not just emotionally, but financially. It tells you what not to do. And in strategy, what not to do is everything.” And look, I’ve been there. I’ve been pissed after not winning a pitch competition. I’ve had investors tell me they didn’t understand my product—at all. I’ve had my little founder heart hurting. But I kept asking for feedback. I kept refining. I kept showing up. This episode is for anyone in the trenches of building something. You don’t need to have all the answers, but you do need to be open, emotionally steady (as best you can), and surrounded by the right people. Go give it a listen, and then tell me: What’s the hardest feedback you’ve ever gotten as a founder? And what did you do with it? https://lnkd.in/e_s44ebP

Triangulation happens when two people avoid dealing with an issue directly and pull in a third person—usually a coach, director, or leader—to mediate. Instead of resolving the conflict themselves, they make you the messenger. Now, you’re running back and forth, carrying frustrations, clarifying misunderstandings, and taking on emotional labor that isn’t yours to hold. Sound familiar? If your athletes, staff, or team members always come to you instead of addressing each other, ask yourself: Have I trained them to do this? Leaders often step in because they want control, they want to prevent conflict from escalating, or they fear people leaving. But the reality? You’re enabling avoidance, not resolution. The longer you keep running interference, the more dependent your team becomes on you to handle their tough conversations. Instead, start shifting the responsibility back: “Go talk to them first. Then let me know how it went.” Teaching direct communication isn’t just leadership—it’s sustainability. #Leadership #ConflictResolution #TeamCulture

"The reason family pushes your buttons is because they’re the ones who sewed them on." Think about it. You can do all the healing in the world, but the second you go home, you’re back to your 21-year-old self. That’s not a coincidence—that’s conditioning. And if you start mapping topics and emotions, you can start figuring out what’s actually triggering you when we have to have those tough conversations with your parents, grandparents, or even our colleagues.

Entrepreneurs, let’s talk about one of the biggest traps we all fall into: overconfidence. In the latest Five with Fry episode, I bring on my mentor Ty Smith—an incredible lean startup consultant—to break down the five ways founders shoot themselves in the foot. And believe me, I stepped on every single one of those landmines. One of the biggest? Thinking your idea is a guaranteed hit without actually talking to customers. Ty put it best: “If you can’t show me that people are willing to pay for your solution, you don’t have a business. You have a hobby.” I learned this the hard way. When I first started my company, I thought I knew my market. But I soon realized I was making some BIG mistakes: ? Asking leading questions that confirmed what I wanted to hear. ? Assuming my personal pain point = a market demand. ? Thinking “everyone” would want my product instead of finding actual buyers. The game-changer? Deep, honest customer discovery. Not selling. Not pitching. Just listening. If you’re a founder, do yourself a favor—stop assuming and start interviewing. And when someone tells you to talk to a mentor? Take your ass over there and talk to them! Tune into this episode, take notes, and let’s build businesses that actually solve real problems. Founders: What’s one thing you learned the hard way in your startup journey? Drop it in the comments!

Rubber vs Glass balls. Everyone has balls in the air. YOU get to pick which ones are rubber and which ones are glass. Too often, we take rubber balls and turn them into glass balls—stressing ourselves out over things that don’t actually need to be fragile. Worse, we let other people convince us that a rubber ball is glass, creating a false sense of urgency that isn’t real. Let me be clear: rubber balls still matter. But they bounce back. Glass balls? They shatter. And you have to figure out which is which. So before you stress yourself out, ask yourself: ? Is this a glass ball or a rubber ball? ? Am I making something fragile that doesn’t need to be? ? Is the stress I’m carrying worth it? Because some things need to be held carefully—but others? Let them bounce. What’s a “rubber ball” you’ve learned to let go of? Let’s talk. ?? #Priorities #Balance #GlassVsRubber

Feedback is always something we expect people, not only college athletes to have. But the reality is they don't. We assume that by the time athletes reach the college level, they know how to give and receive feedback. They don’t. They’re horrible at it, they give vague feedback and don't know how to handle how to recieve it. Why? Because we don’t teach it. We as coaches have to do a better job at explaining what giving good feedback looks like, what getting feedback feelsl like, how to navigate the emotions, and how to understand the importance of it even when you don't like it. If we want a team culture excellent at feedback then we have to teach the skill.

We need to talk about the skill we all claim is important but rarely prioritize: conflict management. In most job descriptions, technical (or "hard") skills dominate the list—pages of required experience, certifications, and software proficiencies. But soft skills? They’re tacked on at the end like an afterthought. Here’s why that’s a problem. Conflict will happen in the workplace. How we handle it directly impacts team culture, innovation, and long-term success. Yet, many organizations overlook conflict management as a critical job requirement. Instead, they hire people who are technically strong but struggle to give or receive feedback, navigate disagreements, or work through tension. And what happens? Culture crumbles. Conflict avoidance doesn’t solve problems. It creates bigger ones. This episode of Five with Fry challenges the outdated mindset that soft skills are secondary. In reality, your ability to manage conflict can impact your career trajectory more than any technical skill. Let’s rethink how we evaluate job candidates. Let’s stop treating conflict resolution as optional. And let’s start building workplaces where navigating tough conversations is a skill, not a fear. ??? Listen to the full episode wherever you get your podcasts, and let’s change the way we think about soft skills. https://bit.ly/fivewithfry

Fear is inevitable. There will be moments in life where you are scared shtless*. Do it anyway. Let fear propel you, not paralyze you. And here’s the thing about fear—it lies. It makes things bigger, scarier, and more impossible than they actually are. We turn challenges into fire-breathing dragons when, in reality, they’re just shadows on the wall. So, I want you to ask yourself: What am I actually afraid of? Write it down. Be specific. Is this something to genuinely fear, or have you built it up in your head? So many fears are based on narratives, not realities. People say they fear trans folks in bathrooms—when the real danger? It’s already happening without anyone needing to "dress up." Fear is often misplaced, misdirected, and amplified by what we've been taught instead of what’s actually true. And then there’s the fear of loss—of relationships, of comfort, of history. If I tell my mom how I feel, will she stop talking to me? If I challenge my best friend, will I lose them? Maybe. But does that mean the relationship was meant to last forever? Longevity doesn’t always equal health. So, be afraid. But don’t let fear stop you from speaking, from acting, from growing. Because on the other side of fear? Freedom. What’s something fear almost stopped you from doing—but you did it anyway? Let’s talk. ?? #Fearless #Courage #GrowthMindset

Teaching students about conflict is hard because it makes people have to think about themselves and their families in a completely different way. A more vulnerable and nuanced way. To read this makes me happy because the are getting it and seeing how it can change their lives.