JenFryTalks

Feedback is always something we expect people, not only college athletes to have. But the reality is they don't. We assume that by the time athletes reach the college level, they know how to give and receive feedback. They don’t. They’re horrible at it, they give vague feedback and don't know how to handle how to recieve it. Why? Because we don’t teach it. We as coaches have to do a better job at explaining what giving good feedback looks like, what getting feedback feelsl like, how to navigate the emotions, and how to understand the importance of it even when you don't like it. If we want a team culture excellent at feedback then we have to teach the skill.

We need to talk about the skill we all claim is important but rarely prioritize: conflict management. In most job descriptions, technical (or "hard") skills dominate the list—pages of required experience, certifications, and software proficiencies. But soft skills? They’re tacked on at the end like an afterthought. Here’s why that’s a problem. Conflict will happen in the workplace. How we handle it directly impacts team culture, innovation, and long-term success. Yet, many organizations overlook conflict management as a critical job requirement. Instead, they hire people who are technically strong but struggle to give or receive feedback, navigate disagreements, or work through tension. And what happens? Culture crumbles. Conflict avoidance doesn’t solve problems. It creates bigger ones. This episode of Five with Fry challenges the outdated mindset that soft skills are secondary. In reality, your ability to manage conflict can impact your career trajectory more than any technical skill. Let’s rethink how we evaluate job candidates. Let’s stop treating conflict resolution as optional. And let’s start building workplaces where navigating tough conversations is a skill, not a fear. ??? Listen to the full episode wherever you get your podcasts, and let’s change the way we think about soft skills. https://bit.ly/fivewithfry

Fear is inevitable. There will be moments in life where you are scared shtless*. Do it anyway. Let fear propel you, not paralyze you. And here’s the thing about fear—it lies. It makes things bigger, scarier, and more impossible than they actually are. We turn challenges into fire-breathing dragons when, in reality, they’re just shadows on the wall. So, I want you to ask yourself: What am I actually afraid of? Write it down. Be specific. Is this something to genuinely fear, or have you built it up in your head? So many fears are based on narratives, not realities. People say they fear trans folks in bathrooms—when the real danger? It’s already happening without anyone needing to "dress up." Fear is often misplaced, misdirected, and amplified by what we've been taught instead of what’s actually true. And then there’s the fear of loss—of relationships, of comfort, of history. If I tell my mom how I feel, will she stop talking to me? If I challenge my best friend, will I lose them? Maybe. But does that mean the relationship was meant to last forever? Longevity doesn’t always equal health. So, be afraid. But don’t let fear stop you from speaking, from acting, from growing. Because on the other side of fear? Freedom. What’s something fear almost stopped you from doing—but you did it anyway? Let’s talk. ?? #Fearless #Courage #GrowthMindset

Teaching students about conflict is hard because it makes people have to think about themselves and their families in a completely different way. A more vulnerable and nuanced way. To read this makes me happy because the are getting it and seeing how it can change their lives.

There’s a volleyball trend called clipping, where players decorate clothespins with fun phrases and clip them onto each other’s jerseys, bags, or even hair. It’s meant to be a playful way to connect. But not everyone wants to participate. When I brought up the idea in a volleyball moms Facebook group that this could be a great opportunity to teach young athletes about consent, I got serious pushback. People argued that it was “just for fun” and that no harm was meant. But here’s the problem: Intent doesn’t override consent. If a girl doesn’t want to be clipped or wants to be clipped on her bag and not her hair, that should be the end of the conversation. Instead, she’s made to feel like she’s the problem. Like she’s being too sensitive. Like she’s ruining the fun. And that’s where we have a problem. Because if we don’t teach girls they have a right to say no in small moments like these, how can we expect them to say no when it really matters? If we don’t help them practice setting boundaries early, how will they do it in high-stakes situations? If we tell them intent matters more than consent, what message does that send about their autonomy? Clipping isn’t the issue. The issue is how we respond when young girls express discomfort. If we can teach them to advocate for their boundaries in small moments, we set them up to protect themselves in every part of life. So let’s move past “it’s just for fun” and start asking: how can we empower young athletes to say no without guilt, shame, or fear of backlash? ?? Listen to this week’s episode of Five with Fry for the full conversation on how low-stakes consent lessons prepare young girls to hold their boundaries in every part of life. Would love to hear your thoughts. How are you teaching young athletes that their voice matters? Let’s talk.

As coaches, we set the emotional tone for our athletes—whether we realize it or not. When we’re riding emotional highs, they ride with us. When we drop, they drop even harder. That’s why emotional regulation is one of the most critical skills for coaches to master. Our athletes are doing the hard work—on the court, on the field, and in their heads. They need to learn how to manage their own emotions and stay focused on the game, not react to ours. The steadier we are, the steadier they’ll be. But emotional regulation isn’t enough. We also need to model and teach them how to have tough, specific conversations. Whether it’s addressing conflict, asking for what they need, or owning a mistake, these skills are vital for their growth—not just as athletes, but as people. Let’s remember that our role as coaches is bigger than wins and losses. It’s about creating a foundation of emotional stability and communication that sets them up for success far beyond the game. #Leadership #CoachingMatters #EmotionalIntelligence #AthleteDevelopment

Let’s talk about a volleyball trend that’s sparked a much bigger conversation about consent. In volleyball, there’s a tradition called clipping, where players pin decorated clothespins onto each other’s bags, jerseys, or even hair. It’s meant to be fun, a way to connect. But what happens when a player doesn’t want to be clipped? What happens when she’s uncomfortable but doesn’t feel like she can say no? I brought up this concern in a volleyball moms Facebook group, and whew, the backlash was strong. The main argument? “It’s just fun, no harm intended.” But intent doesn’t override consent. Girls are often socialized to prioritize others’ feelings over their own comfort. They’re taught not to “ruin the fun,” even when something makes them uncomfortable. That’s why learning to say no in low-stakes situations is critical. If we don’t let young girls practice setting boundaries now, how can we expect them to confidently say no in high-stakes situations later? Some even argued that just by showing up to a tournament, girls were automatically consenting to having clips put on them. That logic is dangerous. We should be teaching girls that they can say no, without hesitation, no matter the situation. This isn’t about taking the fun out of sports. It’s about making sure our daughters, students, and athletes grow up knowing that their boundaries matter. If we really care about empowering young women, we should start by respecting their right to say no. What do you think? Let’s talk. ?? Listen to the full Five with Fry episode wherever you get your podcasts for more.

Gone are the days when you picked a career, stayed for 40 years, and got a gold watch at the end. Can you even get a pension now? Nope. You get a watch. The truth is, you’re not stuck. You can switch industries, pivot careers, and redefine success on your terms. You could start med school, realize a year in that it’s hell, and decide you want to teach art instead. And guess what? That’s OK. We have to create space for people to change their minds without fear. We have to create space for people who want to change majors, who want to graduate and do nothing with their degree, who want to figure out life, or who aren't sure of what they want with life when they graduate.

Safety. Probably the biggest complement as a speaker. I talk about hard things. I peel back layers. When talking about conflict you also talk about people's pasts which can be really hard. To know that I made someone feel safe while talking about hard makes me happy.

Boundaries are hard, but they’re necessary. And let me tell you—people will test them. They’ll push and bump up against them, and that’s when you have to hold firm. Why? Because respecting yourself and your time matters. Here’s the thing: if someone shows up late or disrespects your time, it’s not about their excuses—it’s about your boundary. For me, it’s simple: If you’re late, I leave. That’s the boundary. And next time, they get to decide—are they going to be on time, or are we not doing this? I once told my best friend, who is habitually late with a capital cursive “L,” that if he kept being late to timed reservations, I wouldn’t invite him to those kinds of events anymore. I wasn’t mad, but I was clear. And guess what? He’s been on time ever since—for those things, at least. Boundaries aren’t about punishing others—they’re about teaching people how to treat you and protecting your peace. Hold your ground. You’re worth it. #Boundaries #SelfRespect #Leadership #TimeManagement