IKONI Collective

Are you a RESOURCE or a SISTER or... BOFFUM? ?? What do you WANT to be and to WHOM? Video ?? Credit: Dr. Thema Bryant and Oprah on Instagram

The Body Always Wants to Express Itself. Say it with me: “The body wants to express itself—always.” If you find yourself in fawning (people-pleasing) or freeze (overwhelm, procrastination, ‘lazy’ mode), your body is turning inward, trying to disappear posturally. Suppression feels like the safest option. But here’s the thing—these states were meant for short bursts of survival, not a lifelong default. This isn’t your fault. It’s a trauma response. At some point, something was too overwhelming to process, and your nervous system learned suppression as protection. Maybe as a child, someone required you to stay small, agreeable, or silent to maintain attachment. But without resolution, your body never unlearned that response. What was once a survival strategy became a pattern. The good news? Neural pathways can be rewired. In this video, I talk about what happens when boundary violations are unavoidable. Because let’s be real—sometimes you have to work 9AM to 8PM to get paid. Sometimes you have to attend a meeting at an inconvenient time. The key? Giving your body choice when you can— and creating space for recovery when you can’t. The body needs an outlet to express what it had to suppress. ?? Watch the video and let me know your thoughts. ?? Nervous system regulation, trauma response, people-pleasing, stress recovery, freeze response, fawning, emotional resilience ??? ALT Text: A light-skinned Black woman with long dark brown hair sitting on a leather sofa with a chambray shirt and leather jeans. Her background is a wall with plants on shelves. #nervoussystemregulation#somatichealing #anxiety #anxietyrelief #healingjourney #somatichealing #somatics #nervoussystem

Confidence isn't about having all the answers. Too often we panic when we don’t have an answer. But here’s the thing… Real confidence isn’t about knowing everything; it’s about how you handle what you don’t know. In this video, I’m sharing simple yet powerful ways to say “I don’t know”—without looking insecure. ?? Which one was your favorite? Let me know in the comments! ???? Share if you found this video helpful! ?? Follow Jen Ngozi for more tips on communicating with confidence! #Communicationskills #ConfidenceCommunication #CareerConfidence #Leadershipskills #Speakwithconfidence

Growing up, when I thought about legacy, it was always tied to tangible things that could be handed to the next generation. But it’s so much more than that, isn’t it? Our legacies are connected to who we are, how we show up in community, and the things we create that reverberate through the world while we’re here and when we’re gone. Check out this clip from this week’s episode featuring Brittany Janay Kess — Legacy As Liberation. What are the ways you are shaping your legacy?

And I'm saying this to all BLACK ?? WOMEN with my full chest. On my list of 59 things I'm entirely sick of... I'm tired of people telling us and expecting us to toughen up. We are implicitly or explicitly asked to have thick skin at home, at school, at work, in friendships, at church, etc. For whet? There is nothing wrong with everyone else being challenged to soften up for us... or we move around. I've been thinking A LOT lately about what brave, safe and/or open spaces look and feel like for BLACK ?? WOMEN. What does that space need to BE for a Black woman to relax and feel like her fully free self? For her to be a hot ?? ass unraveling mess and still feel held like the tightest hug of a deeply loving grandmother. There's an unattributed quote that lives rent-free in my head (and on my Instagram feed). It goes: "The highest form of LOVE is CONSIDERATION." And Black women, I'm here to say you are worthy of being CONSIDERED in ALL things. ???? You are worthy of consideration for your emotional and domestic labor contributions AND needs that exist in your marriages and romantic relationships. ???? You are worthy of workplace leaders that consider your unique experience and the multiple intersections at which you need to be cared for differently. And that protects you from fuckery...even if it's from other Black folks. ???? You are worthy of sisterhood that can affirm your pain as well as your pleasure. That can hear you say, "I'm afraid that I will fail..." And they hold that scary truth for you like a newborn baby and say, "Sis, I hear you. I've been there..." instead of instantly demanding you tighten up, "fix your crown," order you to pray, read a motivational quote and get it the f*ck together. Black women have thick skin and BEEN had thick skin... What we need are professional and personal circles with a helluva lot more shea butter, cashmere blankies, fuzzy slippers, and soft mattresses for us to land. ?????? And Black Women, if you find yourself surrounded by too many places and people that demand your HARDNESS, then you go seek some SOFT, Pumpkin ?? (Pats soft empty seat next to her on her plushy cream couch, with cashmere blankie and an array of dynamite drinks of our choices ??) ?????????????????????? ----------------------------------------------------- Photo ?? Credit: Nedra Tawwab on Instagram Image Description: The image contains a quote in black text on a plain, off-white background. The quote reads: "You don't need thicker skin; people need to treat you better." Below the quote, the author's name or social media handle, @NedraTawwab, is displayed in smaller text.