What do you do if you're struggling to bounce back from failure?

Failure influences the state of mind negatively if one tries to stay in denial or brood. The best way forward is to acknowledge the reality of the situation, be with it for some time and then get your mind into the frame " what next". This is natural human emotion that prompts survival. From being in a subjective state one moves forward into an objective state of mind. This helps in review,revision, restructure and recasting.

Implement "Emotional Acceptance": When faced with failure, it's crucial to acknowledge your emotions instead of suppressing them. Feelings of disappointment, frustration, or grief are natural responses. Allow yourself to experience these emotions without judgment. Recognizing your feelings is the first step toward healing and paves the way for personal growth. By confronting your emotions directly, you lay the groundwork for resilience and the ability to tackle future challenges with a stronger, more prepared mindset.

When I realized that failure isn't just a cliché, but that it's a "set up for a comeback"; it's was an invaluable lesson. Failure is an opportunity to pause, evaluate, and consider if a change in direction is needed. Failure allows for pivoting and refining our approach. My perspective on failure was further shaped by reading John C. Maxwell's book "Failing Forward." So, if you're struggling to bounce back from failure, I encourage you to shift your mindset. Instead of dwelling on the setback, see it as an opportunity for growth and progress. Think of it as failing forward and, I highly recommend picking up a copy of Maxwell's book. It's a game-changer! ??

One thing that I’ve found extremely helpful is to diffuse the load around the term “failure”. The load often consists of judgement, shame, guilt, feelings of not good enough. The truth is, failure just means something didn’t work. Which happens to every single one of us. When we can view it as a discovery process instead of an all or nothing experience, we can then be more present with what didn’t work and move into being accepting of ourselves. What if you removed the words success and failure from your vocabulary ??

If I'm struggling to bounce back from failure, I prioritize self-compassion and resilience. Firstly, I acknowledge and accept the failure, understanding that setbacks are a natural part of growth. Then, I reflect on the experience to identify lessons learned and areas for improvement. Seeking support from mentors, peers, or a coach can provide valuable perspective and guidance. Through a growth mindset and perseverance, I regain momentum and move forward with renewed determination towards my goals.

Lean on your support network after failure. Connect with friends, family, or mentors for perspective and encouragement. Sharing your experience can offer relief and insights for moving forward, reminding you of your strengths during challenging times.

Seeking support is crucial if you find yourself struggling to bounce back from failure. It's normal to feel overwhelmed or uncertain after experiencing setbacks, and reaching out for help can provide valuable perspective and guidance. Whether it's talking to a trusted friend, seeking advice from a mentor, or connecting with a support group, reaching out to others can offer new insights and strategies for overcoming challenges. By sharing your experiences and challenges with others, you not only gain valuable support but also realize that you're not alone in facing setbacks. Remember, seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness, and it can play a significant role in your journey towards resilience and success.

Implement the "Deep Reflection Strategy": Honest reflection is a powerful tool for learning from failure. Take time to analyze what happened and why. This involves objectively looking at your actions, identifying mistakes or external factors that contributed to the outcome. Reflection enables you to extract valuable lessons and pinpoint areas for improvement, essential for personal and professional development.

Honest and open reflection is the key to creating the life that we want. Think of it as your GPS: The GPS needs two things to give you clear direction 1. Where you are starting from exactly, not an approximation, not where you’d rather be etc 2. Where exactly you want to go, same deal These are the only way to get where you want to go. You must be able to reflect honestly in regard to the things that did not work, in order to make an informed choice about what to do next.

Honest reflection is key after failure. Analyze what went wrong and why. Objectively assess actions and identify lessons for growth. This process is vital for personal and professional development.

As you reflect, also think back to prior failures and how they got you to where you are today. Failure breeds opportunity. How can you see this as an opportunity?

Implement the "Renewed Goals Technique": After reflecting on your failure, it's time to set new goals. These should be realistic, achievable, and aligned with your values and aspirations. Setting new goals provides a sense of direction and purpose, which can be incredibly motivating during times of disappointment. It also helps shift your focus from what went wrong to what you can do right moving forward.

Sometimes we need to build momentum in order to gain the courage to set new goals that we are willing to go for. It can be incredibly energising to build momentum with goals in a different area of your life, where you're feeling more confident. Something that is doable, but still a push. Working towards a 'fresh' goal and achieving it can help rebuild confidence and recharge you, to then create goals in the areas where you have been challenged.

When setting goals, make sure they are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound). Once you've done that, break them down in even smaller steps; ideally you will lay out all of the steps you'll need to take to achieve your goal. A goal can be an outcome but considering the journey itself and the milestones you'll achieve along the way, consider starting with smaller goals containing multiple milestones so you can gain momentum and use that to tackle on larger goals. Make sure to have "quick wins" in the early stages of your goals to increase your confidence. Check often and re-adjust the milestones as often as needed.

You can only increase resilience by facing hardships. If you believe you should increase this skill, practice putting yourself in positions outside of your comfort zone where you're more likely to hear "no" or having to work through some difficult challenges to achieve an ambitious goal. You can also benchmark your performance or align your goals on those who are more advanced on a topic or further along in their career than you are so you are striving to emulate people with more advanced skills than yours. Be careful though not to burn yourself out by exposing yourself to constantly difficult situations and plan time for mental recovery and wellness.

Employ the "Mental Elasticity Method": Resilience is your ability to bounce back from setbacks and adapt to change. Building resilience involves keeping a positive outlook, practicing self-compassion, and staying committed to your goals despite obstacles. Remember, resilience is not an inherent trait but a skill that can be developed over time through experiences and intentional practice.

Building resilience through practices such as cognitive restructuring, mindfulness, seeking social support, setting realistic goals, and cultivating a growth mindset can help individuals counteract feelings of helplessness and bounce back from adversity.

One of the things I found useful is to think about what worked best the last time I had a set back and failure. Generally, that put focus on possibilities mind set and solutions started to appear and resilience becomes easier.

When things get tough, it's easy to focus only on the problem at hand and forget about the bigger picture. But those tough times are actually valuable for learning and growing. Sometimes, we're so caught up in finding quick solutions that we forget to take a moment to step back and see the lessons in our challenges. Think about it – how many times have you improved at something because you tried before and it didn't work, but now you are mastering it?

Implement the "Small Step Strategy": Take positive actions towards your new goals. Action breeds confidence and helps rebuild self-esteem that may have been affected by "failure". Start with small, manageable steps to build momentum and gradually tackle bigger challenges. Moving forward is about progress, not perfection, and each step you take is a testament to your determination and growth.

Moving forward and letting go can be challenging when you're struggling to bounce back from failure. However, it's essential to recognize that dwelling on past mistakes can hinder your progress and prevent you from reaching your full potential. Focus on what you can control in the present moment. Take proactive steps to learn from the experience, adapt your approach, and move forward with determination. By letting go of the past and embracing a mindset of resilience, you can overcome and continue on your path to success. Remember, every failure is an opportunity to grow stronger, so don't let it hold you back from achieving your goals. Keep moving forward with confidence, knowing that each step you take brings you closer to your dreams.

For professional setbacks, seek support from colleagues who've witnessed your successes. When facing personal challenges, confide in friends who appreciate you for who you are. I've come to realise that sometimes, it's others in business and life who've failed me. Don't hesitate to reach out to those you see as successful. They can share their perceived earlier failings, which often turn out to be valuable lessons and stepping stones. Or have a conversation with a 90 year old they'll shed some light on success and failure.

Go beyond “what happened”, “why did it happened”, “what could I have done instead” Learn about the relationship with failure. What about failure pins you down? What needs to happen for you to make peace with failure? Who is the inner child who was trapped in the fear of failure? After all, we will fail more than once in our lives, might as well get to the root of it, and be friends with “failure”.

Rest, it’s okay to rest physically and mentally. After a very stressful period of work that has resulted in some sort of failure; a business that went for instance or and mental breakdown it’s okay to rest. Working with a coach can be useful to create a plan so that the period of rest doesn’t mean no income and is cleverly focused on the future. Be kind to yourself - a Coach can provide the hand rails for getting back on track in a safe and structured way. Sure it’s about learning from mistakes and getting back on your feet but it’s not an easy process and self-love will often take time to return to a level where you can be yourself again or the new improved version of you that is a result of the experience.

When struggling to bounce back from failure, it's vital to embrace a growth mindset and view setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth. Reflect on the experience, seek support from your network, and set new goals based on the lessons learned. Practice self-compassion, persist in your efforts, and maintain a positive outlook as you navigate challenges and pursue your career aspirations.

Every single human is resilient - including you. We know this because you have fallen many times before being able to walk - you didn't give up the first time you fell, or even the second or third! I like to encourage clients to consider historical situations that have been similar to the challenge they are in, which they have overcome. What have you done in the past that has worked for you? Tapping into your own successes is reminder you have done it before, and can do it again - even when it's challenging.