Fortaleza Network

Leadership and The Inner Critic “It’s not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life; it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the most power.” – Robert Kiyosaki, Author “Rich Dad Poor Dad.” I have been meaning to share my thoughts on the inner critic topic for a while. So, why now? I think it’s because as leaders in the world we get a higher percentage of critical thoughts popping up. As CEO, CFO and CIOs of family offices, it can be a very small group of people in the world that you can really talk to about how we’re really feeling. It can be lonely at times as leaders and the inner critic loves to show up during those times. I’ve had a few instances recently and here I am…writing about it. Why? Because I think awareness of the inner critic gives us the ability to silence it, learn from it and go on to lead better/more effectively by strengthening our own core (and better serving others because of it). Someone once told me that “if you want to overcome a challenge, it starts by leaning in, facing it down and learning about it.” The development of our tools always starts with “Step One,” the awareness of it in the first place. I have a lot of feelings about the inner critic that would be too long to share here, hence me opting for a succinct collection of observations and things we could consider thinking about as leaders when that voice inside our head decides to pop up. I may break this one up into a couple parts. Ready? The inner critic is the judge and at its core is about judging. Whenever the inner-critic is showing up in our lives it means that we are in the process of judging. Yep. That’s the core reason. Why do we need our judgments? I’m not sure we do need them, and this is the primary question I like to throw right at it when the inner critic decides to whisper in my own ear. I find that inserting another question that I control helps to shut down the inner critic and helps balance/reset. Become master of the counter thought(s). Serious question, Why judge yourself? Does it make you feel better? For me, it does not. Ultimately, we get to make that choice (you probably saw that one coming from me). On a parting note, the next piece is that the inner-critic and judging becomes a habit. How will you decide to hold your story? It’s ultimately up to you. I’ll share a little secret; the truth is nobody is perfect. The good news here? It does not matter if you are perfect or not. It’s about the journey and learning, creating and loving along the way (and with less inner critic moments).

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela When I think about world leaders that made a difference, Nelson Mandela immediately comes to mind. He dedicated his whole life to being in service of others and inspired the world. I recall a cold Thursday morning in 2014 in Keystone, Colorado where I was meeting with an 8-person Entrepreneurship Organization (EO) forum. Service was the central point of the conversation, and I was experience sharing my own journey and the discovery/connection that serving others makes you feel better and creates two-way inspiration. One of the people in the group leaned in and asked me to elaborate, “why does serving others make you feel better?” The first example I could give him was to think of a crisis. You see it all the time, how humans around the world step up to help one another through times of crisis and how their service inspires others to follow in their actions. Inspiration is gold because it lights the flame in another person. This means that it is also lighting your light, and that feels amazing. The light that lives inside each human needs to be relit, rekindled, brightened – and this only really comes through inspiration (many times in our words, actions and ways we show up in relationships with others). As leaders in the world, I encourage you to go outside and meet other people, person to person. You can’t inspire them in the same magnitude if you’re stuck in a board meeting or behind a desk. Inspiration makes the impossible, possible. Tim Brown Somos22

The most important mentor to ever come into my life used to share this quote with me often. When we made decisions related to the family, family foundation, business, personal and all other relationships within the world, I could feel this quote in the background. Amazing how simple wisdom such as this from C.S. Lewis can be so powerful in us living exceptional lives and making positive things happen in the world. Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” - CS Lewis Somos22

“Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.” - George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans) Tim Brown

“A player who makes a team great is more valuable than a great player. Losing yourself in the group, for the good of the group - that’s teamwork.” - John Wooden