This is a heartfelt and very candid open letter to every young woman who is graduating this spring.
A letter I wish I could have read when I graduated from Duke University in 2017.
I’m keeping it real:
The next few years will be challenging.
Trying to establish a new sense of identity that is not tied to being a student anymore is difficult.
And even though hardly anyone ever talks about it, it’s completely normal to feel confused, anxious, sad, and overwhelmed during this period of life.
And it’s also normal and ok to feel guilty or even ashamed for feeling this way.
Especially when your family has sacrificed so much to get you to this point.
An academic education does not properly prepare us for being functioning adults.
You just have to figure it out along the way.
It takes time and cannot be forced.
I promise you it gets better.
Not having to have everything figured right now out is a luxury.
Embrace it.
By virtue of your gender and age alone, some people at work will likely underestimate you.
Instead of allowing your frustration to paralyze you and turn you jaded, redirect those emotions into something productive.
A side hustle, networking, taking on a leadership position in an organization you care about, building your personal brand on social media.
One day, you’ll look forward to people, especially men, underestimating you.
Because people who underestimate you stop paying attention to what you do and you can use that opportunity to build something behind their back and eventually surpass them.
Don’t take advice from people who haven’t achieved what you’ve set out to achieve.
Blending out the noise around you requires discipline and can sometimes be exhausting.
It’s okay to temporarily compromise your values if it serves a higher purpose.
Sometimes you have to play the game so you can stop playing it.
The most successful people don’t ask for permission, they ask for forgiveness.
Society and companies don’t reward the people who work hardest.
They reward people who work the smartest and know how to sell themselves.
I strongly encourage you to become comfortable promoting yourself.
It’s not bragging if it’s based on facts.
As a woman, especially when your identity spans multiple intersections across age, race, socioeconomic background, bodily ability, nationality, immigration status, & more, you will always, I repeat, ALWAYS have to be your own best advocate.
Both people and institutions will disappoint you along the way.
You will feel betrayed and treated unfairly more than once.
But you have to do whatever it takes to protect your ambition and wellbeing.
A woman who knows her worth is unstoppable.
Congratulations, Class of 2024! ??
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If you need more pep talks like these, I have a free newsletter The Sheconomist that helps young women navigate their money, career & wellbeing (link on top below my name) ?
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