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Not long after Jenn, my oldest, was born, I started hearing this voice that shrieked, “Are you doing enough for this baby?†Three years later, her brother, Rory, arrived, and then, three years after that came Phoebe. The voice just got louder. ? “Are you doing enough for your children? Are you doing ENOUGH?†I heard it when I was a stay-at-home mom whose life revolved around the kids. And you can bet it got even louder and more intense after we started our foundation, and I suddenly had a lot of new responsibilities outside the family. ? I obsessed over the ways I was falling short of being a perfect mom. I obsessed over what I could be doing better. But somehow, I didn’t realize that obsessing over myself like that was actually taking time and energy away from the very kids I was trying to be there for. ? Thank goodness I discovered the concept of a “good enough†parent. The parenting experts describe a good enough parent as one who cares for their child and tends to their needs without expecting perfection from either themselves or the child. Instead of trying to give their kids everything, they try to help their kids gain the tools they’ll need to navigate the world on their own. ? This was a much better thing to strive for. And guess what: When I stopped trying to be a perfect mother, I actually became a much better one. ? I share more about my experiences navigating the joys and learning curves of parenthood in The Next Day, out April 15. You can learn more at melindafrenchgates.com.
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