Befriending Death

The next Let's Chat About Death course begins January 12, 2025! ?? ?? ?? ?? Welcome to a practical and spiritual approach to befriending death & dying. The Let's Chat About Death course provides an opportunity to investigate what’s important in our life and make changes that reflect that. LET'S CHAT ABOUT DEATH Winter 2025 with With Kevin & Liane Alternate Sundays, Sundays, January 12 - March 23 9:00AM - 10:30AM PST (12:00PM - 1:30PM EST) We'll bring curiosity as we explore and get intimate with our relationship around death and dying. We’ll get practical with the logistics, because at the end of the day, clear communication is the greatest gift we can leave our loved ones. Course information: - 6 Sessions (90 minutes each) with facilitator & all participants online with instructive talks, dynamic discussion, guided meditations, reflections and small breakout sessions - The buddy groups meet every other week - day and time decided by group - 2 to 3 hours for home assignments on your own, at your leisure (movie/reading/writing/conversations) - 6 hourly sessions with your small group (at a time that works for all) Course topics: - Relationship with death and dying - Working with change, aging, sickness, accidents and death - Preparing for our own death (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and practically) - Preparing for loved one's death & difficult conversations - Bearing witness and being with the dying - Grief & embracing Life Link to register for the course: https://buff.ly/3CjuXuL Link to Befriending Death website: https://buff.ly/3muYUQY (The website link is also posted in the social media bio.) #mortality #deathanddying #endoflifeplanning #endoflifecare #endoflifecoach #deatheducation #elderlawattorney #geriatriccaremanager #seniorspecialist #seniorcommunity #over55community #55community #seniors #aarp #palliativecare #hospicecare #chronicillness #deatheducator #advancecareplanning

Sharing a beautiful post by Hospice Care Of The Lowcountry, celebrating Elisabeth Kübler-Ross for Women’s History Month: In celebration of March being Women’s History Month, we wanted to highlight certain women who have made it their life’s mission to advance the work of hospice care. According to the National Hospice & Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO), hospice care is considered to be the model for quality, compassionate care for people facing a serious or life-limiting illness. It involves a team-oriented approach to expert medical care, pain management, as well as emotional and spiritual support tailored to the patient’s needs and wishes. At the center of hospice care is the belief that each of us has the right to die pain-free and with dignity, and that our families will receive the necessary support to allow us to do so. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was a Swiss-American psychiatrist, a pioneer in near-death studies, and the author of the internationally best-selling book, On Death and Dying. In her book, she discussed her theory of the five stages of grief, also known as the Kübler-Ross Model. These include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Kübler-Ross was born on July 8, 1926, in Zurich, Switzerland as one of a set of triplets, two of whom were identical. She was hospitalized after contracting pneumonia at just the age of five. There, she had her first experience with death when her roommate peacefully passed away. This experience set the stage for Kübler-Ross, leading her to believe that death was merely a necessary stage of life and that one must face it with dignity and peace. Throughout World War II, Elisabeth worked as a laboratory assistant for refugees in Zurich when she was just 13-years-old. Following the war, she underwent relief work in France, Germany, Belgium, Denmark, Sweden, Czechoslovakia, and Poland. When she visited the Maidanek Extermination Camp in Poland in 1954, she began interested in pursuing the power of compassion and resilience of the human spirit. The stories of the survivors left permanent impressions on Kübler-Ross, causing her to dedicate her life to the help and healing of others. Carved into the camp’s walls were hundreds of butterflies, which Kübler-Ross said influenced her thinking about the end-of-life. She also became involved as an activist for the International Voluntary Service for Peace that same year. Leaving home at just 16, Kübler-Ross worked many jobs and went on to receive her degree in medicine from the University of Zurich in 1957. She moved to New York in 1958, where she began her psychiatric residency in the Manhattan State Hospital. During this time, she became horrified at the neglect and abuse of mental patients and the imminently dying, finding that many patients were treated with little care. This caused her to develop a program that focused on individual care and attention for… Link to continue reading: https://buff.ly/3EWlFq6

Befriending Death: Advance Directives for Healthcare I am teaching an online course at City College SF extension this March. ?? Would love to see you there. Saturday, March 8, 2025 6:00pm-8:00pm Pacific Time City College of San Francisco Happening online! Link for more information: https://buff.ly/42OGzBs Come join Eileen Spillane, RN, NP and the founder of Befriending Death in unpacking the terms of Advanced Directives for Healthcare. Most Americans have never expressed their end of life wishes with their family or medical team. This topic and these terms can be overwhelming and confusing. We will spell them out in a clear and practical manner and help you get started on completing your legal documents and empower you to take control of your healthcare decisions. Instructor Bio: Eileen Spillane, RN, NP, BSN, MA is the founder of Befriending Death, normalizing conversations around death and dying. She has worked as a Critical Care, Oncology and Obstetric Nurse for over thirty years. Eileen has learned to be present with suffering and bring ease to difficulty with compassion, authenticity and humor. She is an end of life Doula, former Zen Hospice Volunteer and certified as an integral coach through New Ventures West. She fosters a warm environment where you can show up imperfect and messy and be fully accepted for who you are. Befriending Death: Advance Directives for Healthcare (CEXTN33-202540) Link to register at CCSF: https://buff.ly/3F8M2Jh @officialccsf (on Instagram) #citycollege #sfcitycollege #deathanddying #endoflifeplanning #endoflifecare #endoflifecoach #deatheducation #geriatriccaremanager #seniorspecialist #seniorcommunity #over55community #55community #seniors #aarp #healthcare #onlinecourses #onlineclasses #advancedirectives #advancecareplanning

Legendary ‘70’s pop/R&B vocalist Roberta Flack, known for Grammy-winning hits like, “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” and “Killing Me Softly With His Song,” has died. No cause of death was cited; she was 88. This is an excerpt from the statement released by her representative: “We are heartbroken that the glorious Roberta Flack passed away this morning, February 24, 2025. She died peacefully surrounded by her family. Roberta broke boundaries and records. She was also a proud educator.” Born to a musical family in Black Mountain, North Carolina, Roberta Flack began studying piano at the age of 9; something of a musical prodigy, she entered Howard University in Washington, D.C., at 15 on a full scholarship. Her graduate work was cut short by her father’s death, and she taught school in North Carolina and the District of Columbia. She also began work at a DC nightspot where jazz pianist Les McCann brought her to the attention of a record label. She was signed in 1968. ??? "Remember: Always walk in the light. If you feel like you're not walking in it, go find it. Love the light." - Roberta Flack #robertaflack #grammywinner #activist #singer #songwriter #killingmesoftly #1970s #70s #passedaway #rip #deathanddying #celebrities #popsinger #howarduniversity #blackmountain #northcarolina #thelight #lovequotes #legendary

Great perspective and post by Jade Flynn Adgate: “Sometimes I think Death gets a bad rap. We often see death occur with much suffering and the imprint in our collective consciousness is that death is full of pain, brutal side effects, and either an agonizingly slow wither or brutally swift hammer. It seems to me that death itself is actually quite gentle, it’s the impact of modern medicine on declining bodies that can be so shockingly harsh. Here's an example: think of the dog that goes under the house to die. She stops eating and drinking, finds a private, quiet space, and waits for Death to come. Take another dog, whose owners pursue every treatment for the same disease: chemo, then pharmacology for the side effects of the chemo, then IVs for hydration, etc. They’ve added weeks to her life, but at what cost? Which of those dying processes felt more gentle and cloaked in ease? I think we need to do a better job of having the hard conversations about the cost of treatment on a diseased body BEFORE we begin pursuing that treatment. We need to flip the model which is currently treat first, then address each side effect as it appears, and then have a conversation about whether the side effects are worth the hope of the treatment. Currently, we hand out the treatment plan with the diagnosis to soften the blow of mortality. But maybe Death, if we weren’t ravaging a body fighting her off to milk every single day, maybe Death is gentler than we give her credit for? Maybe the natural process of dying has a design to it, like the flip side of pregnancy? What do you think? Have you had medical care that discusses the cost of treatments before they were started? Is death the harsh one, in your experience, or is it the fight that's so brutal? I'm truly curious.” @the.farewell.library (on Instagram) Link to original post: https://buff.ly/3QxUy7c #endoflifecare #eoleducator #eoleducation #deepconversations #deathanddying #mortality #deathpositive #deathpositivty #deathdoula #chronicillness #deathwork #deathmidwife #deathcare #holisticdeathcare #deatheducation #endoflife #death #hardconversations #deathplan

“None of us make it through life without experiencing loss that leaves us feeling broken. That's what makes grief so normal.” - Kelly Cervantes @kellygc411 (on Instagram) ?? The Befriending Death Book Club will be reading Kelly's book, Normal Broken. And she'll be joining us for the discussion on March 19th! It's an event not to be missed. Normal Broken, by Kelly Cervantes Wednesday, March 19, 2025 5PM - 6PM (PT) / 8PM - 9PM (ET) ? With the author? Link to the Befriending Death Book Club: https://buff.ly/3M0O6nk Link to the Befriending Death website: https://buff.ly/3muYUQY Link to support your local bookstore: https://bookshop.org/ (The website link is also posted in the social media bio.) #bookobsessed #bookclub #booklover #bookaddict #bookcommunity #goodreads #booklovers #bookrecommendations #bookreviews #deathanddying #aarp #lifeafterloss #normal #loss #griefjourney #bookgroups #bookclubs #childloss #griefbooks

?????? Such a great reminder: ”Open and honest discussions about death are means to living a fuller, more intentional life.” “Preparing for one’s own death may seem daunting, but the benefits extend beyond the individual. It’s a gift to those we leave behind, offering clarity during a challenging time and ensuring that our wishes are honored. Moreover, the process of contemplating our mortality can be transformative, prompting us to reevaluate our priorities and live more authentically.” Both quotes are by Darnell Lamont Walker, Death Doula & Emmy-Nominated Writer ???? ?? Let’s explore our relationship around death and dying together, in community. New courses are on the way! Sign-up for the Befriending Death newsletter to stay informed. Link to receive our newsletter: https://buff.ly/3oVeGWq #mortality #livingfully #endoflifeplanning #endoflifecare #endoflifecoach #deathcurious #facingfears #mementomori #maranasati #deathpositive #seniorcommunity #learnaboutdeath #deathdoula #livingauthentically #eoldoula #deatheducation #deatheducator #community #facingdeath

Do you have questions about Advanced Directives? ?? If so, this video is perfect for you! It’s an overview of advanced directive terms. Eileen Spillane RN, NP, MA - Advanced Directives Overview Link to view video on YouTube: https://buff.ly/41eg5qm I am also teaching a course on the topic next month. It’s a great opportunity to have all of your questions answered. The course will be happening online. You can join us via Zoom! Saturday, March 8, 2025 6:00pm-8:00pm Pacific Time City College of San Francisco Link for more information: https://buff.ly/42OGzBs Come join Eileen Spillane, RN, NP and the founder of Befriending Death in unpacking the terms of Advanced Directives for Healthcare. Most Americans have never expressed their end of life wishes with their family or medical team. This topic and these terms can be overwhelming and confusing. We will spell them out in a clear and practical manner and help you get started on completing your legal documents and empower you to take control of your healthcare decisions. Instructor Bio: Eileen Spillane, RN, NP, BSN, MA is the founder of Befriending Death, normalizing conversations around death and dying. She has worked as a Critical Care, Oncology and Obstetric Nurse for over thirty years. Eileen has learned to be present with suffering and bring ease to difficulty with compassion, authenticity and humor. She is an end of life Doula, former Zen Hospice Volunteer and certified as an integral coach through New Ventures West. She fosters a warm environment where you can show up imperfect and messy and be fully accepted for who you are. Befriending Death: Advance Directives for Healthcare (CEXTN33-202540) Link to register at CCSF: https://buff.ly/3WVmup5 @officialccsf (on Instagram) #livingwill #seniorsunday #medicalpowerofattorney #endoflifeplanning #endoflifecare #advancedirective #deatheducation #geriatriccaremanager #seniorspecialist #seniorcommunity #over55community #55community #seniors #aarp #powerofattorney #healthcaredirective #personaldirective #advancedirectives #advancecareplanning

I LOVE BOOKS ?? ?? If you do too, join the Befriending Death Book Club! Plug these dates in your calendar, so we can keep chatting about death. ?? We'll meet on Zoom and share our perspectives. Normal Broken, by Kelly Cervantes Wednesday, March 19, 2025 5PM - 6:30PM (PT) / 8PM - 9:30PM (ET) ? With the author? From Here to Eternity: Traveling The World to Find The Good Death, by Caitlin Doughty Wednesday, April 16, 2025 5PM - 6PM (PT) / 8PM - 9PM (ET) Fifty-Seven Fridays: Losing Our Daughter, Finding Our Way, by Myra Sack Wednesday, May 21, 2025 5PM - 6:30PM (PT) / 8PM - 9:30PM (ET) ? With the author? After: A Doctor Explores What Near-Death Experiences Reveal about Life and Beyond, by Bruce Greyson Wednesday, June 11, 2025 5PM - 6PM (PT) / 8PM - 9PM (ET) Sitting Pretty: The View from My Ordinary Resilient Disabled Body, by Rebekah Taussig Wednesday, July 9, 2025 5PM - 6PM (PT) / 8PM - 9PM (ET) Living Beautifully, by Pema Chodron Wednesday, August 20, 2025 5PM - 6PM (PT) / 8PM - 9PM (ET) Nothing to Fear, by Julie McFadden (Hospice Nurse Julie) Wednesday, November 19, 2025 5PM - 6PM (PT) / 8PM - 9PM (ET) Conscious Aging, by Ram Dass Wednesday, December 10, 2025 5PM - 6PM (PT) / 8PM - 9PM (ET) Link to the Befriending Death Book Club: https://buff.ly/3M0O6nk Link to support your local bookstore: https://bookshop.org/ #bookobsessed #bookclub #booklover #bookaddict #bookcommunity #goodreads #booklovers #bookrecommendations #bookreviews #deathanddying #goodbooks #lifeafterloss #deathdoula #deathpositive #griefjourney #bookgroups #bookclubs #bookreview #readingclubs

Good book! ? ?????? ?? Heartwood: The Art of Living with the End in Mind, by Barbara Becker When her earliest childhood friend is diagnosed with a terminal illness, Becker sets off on a quest to immerse herself in what it means to be mortal. Can we live our lives more fully knowing someday we will die? Link to book information: https://buff.ly/3X9y2VX “Let me respectfully remind you Life and death are of supreme importance. Time swiftly passes by and opportunity is lost. On this night the days of our life are decreased by one. Each of us must strive to awaken. Awaken. Take heed. Do not squander your life.” ― Barbara Becker @barbara_becker_author (on Instagram) #bookobsessed #livingfully #bookaddict #bookcommunity #goodreads #booklovers #bookrecommendations #bookreviews #deathanddying #aarp #aging #seniors #goodbooks #deathpositive #barbarabecker #carpediem #artofliving #mortality #mementomori