Dear Shelly

Ready to get personal, Linkedin? I hope so, because I’m about to reflect on the scary, the fun, and the 100%-worth-it experiences of my early career. This post was inspired by Tiny Beautiful Things on Hulu. If you haven’t seen it, it’s loosely based on the time Wild author, Cheryl Strayed, spent writing an anonymous advice column under the pen name “Sugar”. In her first emotional essay, Strayed responded to a reader who asked: “What would you tell your twenty-something self if you could talk to her now?”?

I decided to challenge myself to answer the same question. Here are four things that I would tell twenty-something Shelly of yesteryear.

1. Save the Drama for Your Mama

Entrepreneurship is in my DNA. My dad started his very successful marketing company at our kitchen table. Later in life, he passed the baton to my sister and the business is still thriving to this day. Throughout my young adulthood, I saw the daily grind and by the time I was in my early twenties I knew I could do it, too.?

My first career “aha” moment took place on a pay phone (hopefully that doesn’t date me too much!).? I had just graduated from San Diego State University with a Finance Degree and had a crisis of confidence. My mom listened to me as I panicked and asked, “What am I doing with my life?” A few days later, I received the book she’d sent me titled Jobs in Paradise. This book was responsible for launching my career in hospitality.?

Dear Shelly: You don’t know it yet, but hospitality is exactly where you need to be. Ok, so you don’t have a degree in it. So what? Trust your gut. You’re smart, you’re hardworking, and that little voice in your head is right: things will always work out. Just dive in; you’re ready for anything.

2. Embrace Your Wanderlust

After the cap and gown and a short stint as a tour operator in the U.S. Virgin Islands,? I launched my career by jumping on a ship. I worked on round the world cruises with Holland America, and as my seniority grew, I was able to do more and travel more. From the pyramids to the Great Wall, from Europe to Alaska and Eastern Canada – I was so lucky to have the whole globe as my playground.?

But, despite having oceans of fun, I also learned so much about customer service. You get it, or you don’t, and I really GOT it. This is when I truly honed and cultivated my hospitality skills. I was working for people who had spent a lot and expected a lot in return. The only way to exceed their expectations was to exceed my own.?

Dear Shelly: I know you’re busy seeing the world, having fun, and meeting great people. But, don’t lose sight of your purpose! You’re building the foundational skills you’ll need in the future. Figure out how to appeal to what people value and what they truly want to experience. Now’s the time to learn how to really listen.

3. When in Doubt: Be Brave

When others describe the young me, one word comes up again and again: fearless. However, I don’t know how accurate that is, because I of course had doubts and fears along the way. But, I’m also a big believer in taking the risks that are worth taking. The biggest risk I ever took by far was going into business on my own.

I remember working on the budget for my first business and thinking “This is never going to work. How am I going to sell enough to make this work?” I crumpled up that budget draft and threw it away. I understood that I would succeed if I just kept my head on straight and focused on providing value to my clients.?

Dear Shelly: It’s a really tough time. You’ve just launched a new business and you’re going through a divorce. But, you know yourself better now; you know what you need to be happy and successful. Be patient with your path. Things will fall into place as they need to.?

4. Find A Tribe That Helps You Thrive

I have worked through 9/11, the Great Recession and, most recently, the pandemic. During these globally difficult times, having a solid support system at work and at home has proved crucial.

Prior to my divorce, I was a bit private or “too professional.” At first, I felt like it was a little risky getting close to people in the industry. In reality, I needed to forge life changing bonds, especially during the difficult time that followed. The authentic relationships I formed with people were the biggest resource to me during the hard times. My network supported me, loved me, and carried me through. These people were professionally and personally in my corner through ANY hardship. Special shout-out to Candi Lombard , Angel Tassone , my mom, and my sister.?

I would be remiss if I didn’t give my nanny a shout-out here. I’ve had the same nanny, Celia, for 18 years, and I am so grateful for her. I wouldn’t be the mom, professional, or person I am today without her. She enabled me to be both a dedicated businesswoman and a hands-on mom with my kids without ever sacrificing either. She’s part of my family, and I’m never letting her go!

Dear Shelly: I get it, trust is really hard for you right now. But, you have the right people on your team. You’ll sleep better at night knowing they’re behind you every step of the way. So, don’t be afraid. Trust those you’ve chosen to stand beside you, in business and life. They’ve earned it and you have, too.

Dear aspiring entrepreneurs: Shoot me a message, I’d love to be your cheerleader as you set sail on your next adventure.?

Dear seasoned event pros: I want to hear from you, too! What would you say to your twenty-something self? Tell me in the comments or, better yet, start writing your past self some love letters. I’d love to read them.?

Life is full of leaps, turns, mistakes, hard stuff, and wild stuff, but it's all so good. Always remember to live in the moment, be present, and enjoy the journey!