How to Develop the Soft Skills Needed to Lead a Hybrid Work Team

Like many people, John Logan changed jobs this year. (He’s the new director of recruiting for North America at Simon-Kucher & Partners.) Also, like many, he brings some updated and critically important capabilities — the soft skills to succeed in remote and hybrid work.

He first saw the need to advance those skills at his previous job after the first few looong weeks of the pandemic. “Projects started going off the rails,” John recalls. “Some people weren’t coping.” While the firm created an expanded definition of family leave to help those with COVID-related work-life challenges, he saw that not every manager was adept at handling sensitive conversations and offering appropriate help.

With remote and hybrid work here to stay, fostering ongoing well-being and employee engagement requires a boost to soft skills. If you relate to John’s experience, read on for a few more of his observations, a deeper look at the need for soft skills in the new workplace, and tips to enhance your emotional intelligence (EQ) for remote and hybrid work. 

The soft skills gap is helping fuel the Great Reshuffle

Pre-pandemic, the culture at John’s company, like so many others, had been built on in-person interactions. As a manager, he appreciated being able to observe people’s behavior firsthand and check in after certain signals — like observing poor quality work or seeing an energetic person suddenly dragging their sneakers. 

For many, the learning curve to support effective relationships in a world heavily reliant on virtual interactions has been steep. “Managers without EQ have not fared well,” John says, “and that’s why people are walking out the door now.” His thoughts line up with what has been called the Great Reshuffle — the wave of resignations affecting the global workforce and, for some, the all-out reexamination of the purpose of work itself.

By all accounts, the months and years ahead will only amplify the need for what Johanna Bolin Tingvall, global head of learning and development at Spotify, calls “durable skills.” The term reflects the fact that fast-moving technology will make many skills perishable, while soft skills will endure.

With more “location agnostic” jobs in the remote-friendly future, trendspotters see employees having more choices, including the ability to seek out empathetic and caring leaders and avoid companies that prioritize one-size-fits-all rules and processes.

“Employees crave investment in the human aspects of work,” a recent report on talent migration from McKinsey points out. “Employees are tired, and many are grieving. They want a renewed and revised sense of purpose in their work. They want social and interpersonal connections with their colleagues and managers.”

Soft skills are difficult skills

Considering a common definition of employee engagement — an investment of cognitive, emotional, and behavioral energies toward positive organizational outcomes — it makes sense that engagement starts with leaders investing their own energy to help people thrive.

But that’s much easier said than done. Organizational psychologist Adam Grant recently underscored the challenges of the hybrid era when he posted on social media, “The irony of ‘soft skills’ is that they’re often hardest to master. Leadership, communication, collaboration, creativity, and adaptability may not be technical, but they’re increasingly vital. Behavioral, social, and emotional skills are what make humans indispensable.”

Crystal Lim-Lange, CEO of the Singapore-based training firm Forest Wolf, agrees. Her book Deep Human: Practical Superskills for a Future of Success (coauthored before the pandemic with husband, Gregor) is full of keen insights to support people and organizations.

Central to Crystal’s approach is the idea that soft skills can be learned. Likewise, LinkedIn Learning’s 2021 Workplace Learning Report cites a number of human-centered skills that L&D pros consider most important to master right now, including resilience and adaptability, communication across remote or distributed teams, and emotional intelligence.

So let’s look at ideas from Crystal, LinkedIn Learning, and others that can help you bring more humanity to work. While these tips are aimed at leaders and managers adapting to hybrid and remote routines, they’re also helpful for anyone looking to build trust and collaboration with colleagues.

Make connection and conversation intentional

Hybrid work means you have to plan and make time to connect, whether reaching out for a casual chat or ensuring adequate time for scheduled one-on-one conversations.

When you do meet, whether on a video call or during shared time at an office location, it’s important to be in touch with your own emotions and stress level. If you can’t be present and attentive due to distress in your own life, it might be best to reschedule.

Think ahead about the key questions you want to ask and the priorities you need to review. While it’s important to remember that every person’s situation is different, Glint’s managers’ guide to better check-ins can help you prepare to cover the important topics, reflect on what you discuss, and then plan and follow through on next steps.

Practice vulnerability

Worried about how to encourage others to open up so that you can get a clear and honest picture of how they’re doing? To establish that trust, Crystal recommends talking a bit about your own struggles. 

“If you really want people to be vulnerable and authentic about what they can do and what they cannot do,” Crystal says, “you cannot insist on having a superhuman persona.”

You might share, “This week I was really overwhelmed.” Or, “I’m struggling with work-life balance given some difficult priorities at home,” or “I’m stuck on this problem and feeling frustrated and burned out.”

For perfectionists who’ve spent years honing an image of competence and efficiency, the task may be harder than it sounds. Certainly, you don’t want to conjure up a weakness if you can’t think of one. But those who can’t come up with an area of vulnerability to talk about may need to work on self-awareness.

Once you’ve mastered the art of opening up, be sure to spend far more time listening than talking.

Take a short online course

LinkedIn Learning has a deep archive of timeless and fresh courses to help you grow and polish your abilities. Here are two from the recently published 20 most popular courses of the year that can enhance your communication skills:

? Interpersonal Communication with Dorie Clark helps you express your ideas succinctly and respectfully and grapple with tricky situations (like how to deal with interruptions), respond to critical feedback, and effectively communicate across cultures.

? Communicating about Culturally Sensitive Issues with Daisy Lovelace develops your confidence in relating to all of your coworkers and speaking without fear of offending others. It includes techniques in setting boundaries and ground rules for potentially sensitive conversations as well as insights on how to ask better questions and respond with more empathy.

Embrace self-care

The following insight is probably the most obvious, but also the one that bears repeating: Everyone needs time, space, and encouragement to protect their peace of mind and cultivate their skills.

Crystal is particularly enthusiastic about companies that offer training, support, and inspiration for the skill of mindfulness and self-awareness. “It is this sense of being able to train your brain to overcome its natural tendency to want to be distracted,” she says. “We are living in the age of distractions, and people now need to learn the skills of taking back control over their own attention spans.” 

Learning itself is a form of self-care, she says. “You are growing and you are taking care of yourself,” she says. “The happiest people in the world are the ones who are the most engaged and curious. They are the ones who don’t just think about a to-do list, but also think about their to-learn list and their to-be list.”

Final thoughts: Make time to hone your soft skills

When John Logan started his new job, he discovered a cool perk. “Best thing about starting a new job?” he posted on social media. “Starting over with a completely empty email [inbox].”

While a job change is probably not the most efficient way to free yourself from a backlog of work chores, it’s helpful to recognize that adjusting to hybrid work requires an investment of time. 

So how do you find it? Perhaps you’ve already saved some time with less commuting. Or maybe you need to work on an additional skill: saying no to certain tasks. Crystal points out that when you say no, you're actually saying yes to give attention and focus to other things.

With 2,846 unread messages in his old email account, John has one last tip that can save time for your colleagues. “Seriously,” he says. “Don’t cc people unnecessarily.”

Copy that.

To receive blog posts like this one straight in your inbox, subscribe to the blog newsletter.