You're working with a team but you're not assertive. How can you build your confidence?

1 Identify your strengths

One of the reasons why you may lack confidence and assertiveness is that you focus too much on your weaknesses and flaws, and not enough on your strengths and achievements. To overcome this, you need to identify and appreciate your positive qualities, skills, and contributions. You can do this by making a list of your strengths, asking for feedback from others, and celebrating your successes. This will help you boost your self-esteem and confidence, and remind you of your value and potential.

2 Know your rights and responsibilities

Another reason why you may struggle with assertiveness is that you are not clear about your rights and responsibilities as a team member. You may feel guilty or afraid of saying no, asking for help, or expressing your opinions. To overcome this, you need to know and respect your rights and responsibilities, as well as those of others. You have the right to be treated fairly, to be heard, to disagree, to make mistakes, and to ask for what you need. You also have the responsibility to treat others fairly, to listen, to cooperate, to admit your errors, and to fulfill your duties.

3 Use assertive communication techniques

A third reason why you may find it hard to be assertive is that you are not familiar with or comfortable with assertive communication techniques. You may use passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive communication styles, which can damage your relationships and reputation. To overcome this, you need to use assertive communication techniques, such as using "I" statements, stating your needs and feelings clearly and respectfully, using a confident tone and body language, asking open-ended questions, and offering constructive feedback.

4 Practice and prepare

A fourth reason why you may lack confidence and assertiveness is that you are not prepared or practiced enough for different situations and scenarios. You may feel nervous, anxious, or overwhelmed when working with others, especially if you face challenges, disagreements, or conflicts. To overcome this, you need to practice and prepare for various situations and scenarios, such as giving a presentation, participating in a meeting, negotiating a task, or dealing with a difficult team member. You can do this by rehearsing your responses, role-playing with a friend or colleague, or seeking coaching or mentoring.

5 Learn from your experiences

A fifth reason why you may not be assertive is that you do not learn from your experiences. You may avoid feedback, dwell on your mistakes, or repeat the same patterns. To overcome this, you need to learn from your experiences, both positive and negative. You can do this by seeking and accepting feedback, reflecting on your actions and outcomes, identifying your areas of improvement, and celebrating your progress and achievements.

6 Seek support and guidance

A sixth reason why you may struggle with confidence and assertiveness is that you do not seek support and guidance from others. You may feel isolated, embarrassed, or unsupported when working in a team. To overcome this, you need to seek support and guidance from others, such as your manager, your colleagues, your friends, or your family. You can do this by asking for advice, sharing your challenges and successes, joining a support group or network, or seeking professional help if needed.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?