As a business relationship manager (BRM), you’re responsible for building and maintaining strong partnerships with your internal and external stakeholders. But sometimes, you may encounter a difficult stakeholder who doesn’t share your vision, goals, or expectations. How can you get them to see things your way and collaborate effectively?
The first step is to understand where your difficult stakeholder is coming from. What are their needs, motivations, challenges, and pain points? What are their priorities, preferences, and constraints? How do they communicate, make decisions, and handle feedback? By empathizing with their perspective, you can identify the root causes of their resistance, frustration, or dissatisfaction. You can also discover common ground and areas of alignment that can facilitate trust and rapport.
Firstly, we need to understand the thought process of the Stakeholder by making him comfortable to share his views, thoughts and obstacles in implementation. Give him abroad perspective of the things planned, benefits to him in implementing the said objective and also provide solutions to the obstacles he had in his mind, resources if any and Guidance till he/she becomes comfortable. As a Zonal Head i was in a situation where we were changing the Incentive pattern of the Team and that caused lot of uneasiness. Here we have taken their concerns, explained the logic of implementation and percentage of impact it might have or not have with Data to give comfort to their concerns. Few points which were to be corrected was also taken.
Cultural nuance’s makes this process difficult; so appreciation of the culture is important when one has global dealings. Secondly, make sure you have time when you are in such a situation. Have the courage to also bite your tongue and deliver what you intend to say on another occasion. A quick response to every issue is not necessary.
First step is to understand perspective of all stakeholders, and there may be divergent thoughts or priorities. One needs to listen and understand all these and lay out a clear strategy with executable plans which should be acceptable to all with some wins for everyone. Next step is to communicate my thoughts and strategy clearly and confidently with all specially with ones having divergent thoughts. Once people see that overall the company is winning, people will agree to forego of some of their preferences. Key is to carry along all by demonstrating empathy and confidence.
Often it is found that we do not try to understand the background of the other stakeholder instead we jump on conclusion. I think understanding and listening the perspective of other person will help us to discover the reasons of dissatisfaction. We can then try to find out the solution together which will help to build the rapport and trust.
When dealing with a difficult stakeholder, employ empathy, patience, and strategic communication. Understand their perspective, listen actively, and build rapport. Clearly articulate your ideas, using evidence to support your arguments. Emphasize benefits that align with their goals and address concerns with reassurance and flexibility. Seek compromise and involve them in the decision-making process. Provide evidence, involve them, and manage emotions to foster constructive dialogue. Follow up to address any lingering concerns. By employing these strategies, you can navigate challenging situations and increase the likelihood of gaining their support.
The second step is to listen actively and respectfully to your difficult stakeholder. Listening is not just hearing what they say, but also paying attention to their tone, body language, and emotions. Listening shows that you care about their opinions, concerns, and feelings. It also helps you avoid misunderstandings, assumptions, and biases that can escalate conflicts. When you listen, don’t interrupt, judge, or argue. Instead, ask open-ended questions, paraphrase what they say, and summarize the key points.
Half of our problems can be solved if we listen with respect + without judgement or rebuttals and not react in an impulsive manner. Focus on listening, not just hearing. Notice the tone and pitch of the other person, along with their body language (are they anxious, are they avoiding confrontation, are they aggressive etc.) and clarify any doubts you have then and there to avoid misunderstandings, biases and future conflicts. Ask questions and keep the conversation going. If you have a different thought process, try to understand why your stakeholder feels their way is right - do they not know your approach? do they have prior experience with similar situations etc.? Just ask and you'll know.
In order to be able to discuss, compromise and share your thoughts and point of view, it is crucial to hear listen and pay attention to what th others are and have to say, to understand their concept and assess their claims and concerns in order to build and be able to support your feedback if you are still not convinced
We spend most conversations in our head and thinking about what you’re going to say next and respond before we really hear what people are saying. People get defensive before they truly understand what is being said. So actively listening and understanding others point of view would help misunderstandings while communicating.
The second step in dealing with difficult stakeholders is to actively and respectfully listen to them. Active listening goes beyond merely hearing their words; it involves paying attention to their tone, body language, and emotions. This demonstrates your genuine concern for their opinions, concerns, and feelings. Actively listening helps prevent misunderstandings, assumptions, and biases that can exacerbate conflicts. During the conversation, refrain from interrupting, judging, or arguing. Instead, use open-ended questions to encourage dialogue, paraphrase their statements to ensure understanding, and summarize the main points to show that you value their input.
Based on my experience, once one understands the factors influencing the other persons decision or objection, it can be utilised to frame a logical argument that will be acceptable to the other person. A few important aspects to understand the other person are - listening carefully, undertsanding the bacground of their point of view, and creating a compelling and logical story which would the other person's point of view towards yours.
The third step is to communicate clearly and confidently with your difficult stakeholder. Communication is not just telling them what you want, but also explaining why and how it benefits them. Communication also involves setting realistic expectations, defining roles and responsibilities, and providing regular updates and feedback. When you communicate, be assertive, not aggressive or passive. Use positive, constructive, and respectful language. Avoid jargon, ambiguity, and blame.
Yes, communication plays very vital role. Communication helps to set realistic expectations when it comes to setting up roles and responsibilities. Any communication which is positive and respectful always gain the attention and accepted well in the organization.
The third step in effectively managing difficult stakeholders is to communicate clearly and confidently with them. This involves not only conveying your own objectives but also explaining how those objectives benefit them. It's important to establish realistic expectations, define roles and responsibilities clearly, and maintain regular communication by providing updates and feedback.
Be honest and transparent. Keep communication open and honest. If there are challenges or delays, communicate them clearly and work with your stakeholders to develop solutions. This will help you build confidence and avoid conflicts that could arise from misunderstandings or unfulfilled promises.
To communicate successfully, you ensure you understand the goals or purpose of the project or assignments and get the agreement of the other party to it. You then outline your point on how best the goal and purpose could be achieved given the available resources, time and constraints.
Communicating clearly and confidently can sway stakeholders. It matters because clarity and confidence can often convert uncertainty into support. Persuasive communication can align divergent views.
The fourth step is to negotiate and compromise with your difficult stakeholder. Negotiation is not just persuading them to agree with you, but also finding a mutually acceptable solution that meets both parties’ needs and interests. Negotiation also involves being flexible, creative, and collaborative. When you negotiate, don’t focus on positions, but on interests. Don’t make ultimatums, but offer options. Don’t win-lose, but win-win.
The focus should be always on the win-win situations. Negotiations can be hard sometimes but being flexible and focusing more on benefits should work in any case.
Identify the Stakeholders Categorize and Prioritize Understand Their Concerns Communicate Regularly and Effectively: Build Trust: Show respect and appreciation for their input. Acknowledge their expertise and contributions. Seek Common Ground: Find areas of agreement. Focus on shared goals and mutual benefits. Frame discussions in terms of how the project aligns with their interests. Be Solution-Oriented: Instead of dwelling on problems, propose solutions. Collaborate on finding win-win outcomes. Demonstrate flexibility and adaptability. Stay Calm and Professional: Difficult stakeholders may provoke emotional reactions. Maintain professionalism and avoid confrontations. Keep the bigger picture in mind—the project’s success.
In a bancassurance partnership, I faced a challenging situation where difficult stakeholders, RMs, sold term life policies to secure bank loans, which were often cancelled during the cooling-off period, potentially hurting the insurer's profitability and abusing insurance services. To address this issue, I negotiated with bank RM teams, focusing on finding a mutually beneficial solution that encourages the sale of policies that provide long-term value to customers. By offering incentives for policies that remain in force beyond the cooling-off period and collaborating on a more sustainable sales strategy, both parties can work towards a win-win situation that strengthens their partnership while protecting their respective interests.
The fourth step in effectively managing difficult stakeholders is to engage in negotiation and compromise. Negotiation entails more than simply persuading the stakeholder to agree with your perspective; it involves finding a mutually acceptable solution that addresses the needs and interests of both parties. This process requires flexibility, creativity, and collaboration to explore various options and reach a satisfactory outcome
During negotiation, it's important to focus on interests rather than positions. By understanding the underlying needs and concerns of both parties, you can identify potential areas of agreement and compromise. Avoid making ultimatums, as they can escalate tensions and hinder productive discussion. Instead, offer multiple options and be open to alternative proposals. The goal should be to achieve a win-win outcome where both parties feel their interests are respected and served. This approach fosters goodwill and cooperation, leading to more effective stakeholder management and successful project outcomes.
The fifth step is to follow up and follow through with your difficult stakeholder. Follow-up is not just checking in on the progress and status of the project, but also providing support, guidance, and recognition. Follow-up also helps you monitor and measure the outcomes and impacts of your actions and decisions. Follow-through is not just delivering on your promises, but also ensuring quality, consistency, and satisfaction. Follow-through also helps you maintain and strengthen the relationship and trust.
Will ensure the stakeholder would get they want from our promised initiatives to further incentivize them to find profits, to save costs, and to deliver.
Keep a positive dispossession throughout the process and in all engagements. Show interest and commitment at all times and be a good team player. In situations of difficulties, don't give room to doubts or play the blame game. Let the other party know and see you are there for the whole hod. Celebrate success and little wins and do not fail to acknowledge and commend the other party for their contributions.
1.Be Objective: As much as possible, try to remove personal feelings and emotions from your conversation with difficult stakeholders. You can help maintain a calm and productive atmosphere by listening to their concerns and responding with objective data and facts 2. Understand their motivation: You can help manage challenging stakeholders by trying to understand what motivates their concerns. For many of them, the issues they raise may come from a desire to see the project succeed, but they have lost confidence in the direction it's going. 3. Be firm, if necessary: Satisfying the concerns of difficult stakeholders doesn't always mean agreeing with everything they say.
Following up and through shows commitment to stakeholder engagements. It matters because reliability builds trust and strengthens professional bonds. Consistent follow-up is the proof of your professional integrity.
The sixth step is to learn and improve from your experience with your difficult stakeholder. Learning is not just reflecting on what went well and what didn’t, but also seeking feedback, insights, and lessons. Learning also helps you identify and address gaps, issues, and risks that may affect the relationship or the project. Improving is not just correcting mistakes, but also implementing changes, innovations, and best practices. Improving also helps you enhance your skills, knowledge, and performance as a BRM.
One lesson learned through my experience, is not so much getting "difficult" stakeholder to see it my way, rather have a conversation and get them to explain to me why their point is so important. I have often come away with having learned something new and both parties end up compromising without really changing much of the intended end result.
Learning and improving from each interaction enriches your skill set. It matters because continuous improvement is the hallmark of a true professional. Adaptability is the currency of success in business relationships.
Empathy and Understanding: Take time to understand the stakeholder's concerns and motivations. Tailor your approach based on their perspective. Build Trust: Establish trust and rapport through active listening and validation of their concerns. Clear Communication: Articulate your ideas clearly, using persuasive techniques such as storytelling and data-driven evidence. Identify Common Ground: Highlight shared goals to bridge the gap between viewpoints. Flexibility: Be willing to adapt and compromise to accommodate stakeholder needs. Influence Through Relationships: Utilize your network to garner support and advocate for your ideas.