BRIDGING THE GAP WITH RESISTANT COLLEAGUES When struggling to connect with a resistant colleague, I focus on active listening and empathy. Understanding their concerns without judgment builds mutual respect and reduces tension. I acknowledge their perspectives, showing that their opinions are valued and fostering trust. Next, I seek common goals and encourage collaboration toward shared objectives. By offering support and maintaining open communication, I create a cooperative environment. Patience and consistent positive interactions help bridge the gap, transforming resistance into productive teamwork and strengthening our collaborative efforts.

I coach my trainees on handling resistant colleagues by starting with empathy and not taking things personally. Active listening and openness can shift the dynamic from resistance to acceptance. Resistance often stems from uncertainty or fear of change, so it’s essential to acknowledge these emotions — both theirs and ours — without judgment. I also encourage looking for the "why" behind the resistance. By exploring what truly matters to the other person, we gain insights that help align our goals. Progress over perfection is key. Building rapport takes time, and patience fosters trust and understanding.

By approaching the situation with emotional intelligence and a willingness to understand, you can gradually foster a more collaborative atmosphere. It takes time, but patience and persistence can lead to a more productive partnership.

Mark Twain’s quote on kindness as the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see rings true even to those who seem resistant to us repeatedly. Recently, I took a different approach with a long-serving, uncooperative manager. Instead of rationalizing why collaboration is best for everyone and hoping she would see some sense in it, I looked her in the eyes and told her that I heard her and understood the difficult challenges she was going through. I assured her that I would support her by listing some plans in overcoming these challenges. By acknowledging her challenges first and showing my commitment towards her, this reassured her that a win-win outcome is possible through mutual collaboration. Start with kindness!