You’re looking for a mentor to help you navigate your career. What’s the best way to approach them?

Before mentor-hunting, clarify your goals: identify your career ambitions, challenges, and the skills you wish to acquire. Knowing what you seek and your preferred interaction style sharpens your focus, ensuring a fruitful mentor match that aligns with your aspirations and learning preferences.

Every relationship, be it a mentorship, a spouse, or peer, requires an exchange of value. The first step in mentorship is defining what value you could bring to the mentor. The best way to learn this is through research and asking the mentor themselves. A peer once told me "don't just ask 'how can I help you?', that's lazy, and puts the work on them to figure it out. Learn what matters to them, and determine out how you can contribute." Research the mentor (LinkedIn, web search, etc.). Find out what they care about. Find ways to offer time/talent/treasure to add value. Reach out, and share that you feel their mentorship would be invaluable. Offer the contributions you came up with. Finish with asking how else you could provide value.

One thing I’ve found helpful as a mentor and someone seeking a mentor is to take the time to clearly define the relationship at the beginning. That clarity simplifies the ask for the mentor. Then the potential mentor can determine whether they are the best person to help you. Also articulate how much time you are asking them to invest in you. Maybe it’s once a month coffee. Or it’s a one time conversation. Those are very different asks and commitments. Being clear makes it much easier for a mentor to say yes or no. And remember: mentoring happens all the time without being a formalized relationship.

The worst outcome to misunderstanding your objectives in mentorship is 1) wasting your time, 2) wasting the mentor's time. Consider this: You: - What stage am I in? (e.g. What do I want to do with my life?, How do I get into the _____ business?, How do I stand out and grow?, What's a good next step?) - How am I best mentored (physically - virtual vs. in person vs. text, emotionally - strong accountability, goal-setting w/ autonomy, gentle nudges) Mentor: - Does their experience include what you're looking for (are they 1-3 steps ahead (preferred), or leagues ahead (you're not ready)) - Does their style align with your desires (are they a drill sergeant, a cheerleader, or a sherpa?) Know what you need, and how you need it.

Focus on building a network of people that you respect and admire before approaching them for mentorship. Mentorship is often about the right fit of people working together.

As mentioned, you need to portray the value you can bring to the mentor. Find out what they value, and offer it. A great first message has the following attributes: - Clear and transparent - Direct ask - Why working them would be a great opportunity - what value you hope to provide them Example: "Hey Jim, my name is Lucas, and I am coach working to develop myself in the space of business strategy and performance. From following you, I know you are a passionate, driven expert in this field. My hope is that you would be willing to mentor me in the near future. In return for this valuable experience, I would like to offer (prospects, admin work. etc.), or something else that may align with your goals. Would you be open to chatting more?"

First, identify your deficiencies in knowledge and network hindering your long term goals. Identify potential mentors, ask for their time and ask questions to affirm they are a good fit for your goals. Provided they are, explain what you would like to gain through a mentor and the value it will bring towards your success. If you want it, make the ask.

Once you have a clear purpose, the questions are easier. Don’t forget the value of the mentor’s story and experience, but also recognize it may not be a one for one application. Look for themes and overarching themes. Ask questions like how would you handle this situation? What would you recommend? Have you experienced anything similar? What has been successful for you?

Disappointment often comes when there’s a mismatch of expectations. Establishing those up front will help eliminate the potential for miscommunication and broken expectations. Establishing expectations for how often you will meet, how you will communicate, and topics will help you stay on the same page for the topics for this mentorship.

When seeking a mentor to guide your career journey, approach with clarity and sincerity. Start by researching potential mentors who align with your goals and values. Craft a personalized message expressing admiration for their expertise and outlining what you hope to learn from them. Respect their time by being concise yet genuine in your request, and be open to their schedule and preferred mode of communication. Remember, mentorship is a two-way street – offer value through your enthusiasm, curiosity, and willingness to learn.

There are a few additional factors to consider in a mentor: 1. Do we have a connection beyond the objective factors? Do you like and respect each other? Connection is key to having a deeper level of empathy and understanding from your mentor. 2. Is this a mutually beneficial relationship? Are there insights that I can provide to my mentor? When a mentor feels that they are finding value in the relationship, they are that much more invested. 3. Will this mentor be candid with me? The best mentors give critical feedback. Some mentors may want to avoid any type of conflict, so may sugarcoat their feedback. Mentorship is the best and safest place for direct, critical feedback. Find the person who will give you the tough love.

There are a few additional factors to consider in a mentor: 1. Do we have a connection beyond the objective factors? Do you like and respect each other? Connection is key to having a deeper level of empathy and understanding from your mentor. 2. Is this a mutually beneficial relationship? Are there insights that I can provide to my mentor? When a mentor feels that they are finding value in the relationship, they are that much more invested. 3. Will this mentor be candid with me? The best mentors give critical feedback. Some mentors may want to avoid any type of conflict, so may sugarcoat their feedback. Mentorship is the best and safest place for direct, critical feedback. Find the person who will give you the tough love.

There are a few additional factors to consider in a mentor: 1. Do we have a connection beyond the objective factors? Do you like and respect each other? Connection is key to having a deeper level of empathy and understanding from your mentor. 2. Is this a mutually beneficial relationship? Are there insights that I can provide to my mentor? When a mentor feels that they are finding value in the relationship, they are that much more invested. 3. Will this mentor be candid with me? The best mentors give critical feedback. Some mentors may want to avoid any type of conflict, so may sugarcoat their feedback. Mentorship is the best and safest place for direct, critical feedback. Find the person who will give you the tough love.

There are a few additional factors to consider in a mentor: 1. Do we have a connection beyond the objective factors? Do you like and respect each other? Connection is key to having a deeper level of empathy and understanding from your mentor. 2. Is this a mutually beneficial relationship? Are there insights that I can provide to my mentor? When a mentor feels that they are finding value in the relationship, they are that much more invested. 3. Will this mentor be candid with me? The best mentors give critical feedback. Some mentors may want to avoid any type of conflict, so may sugarcoat their feedback. Mentorship is the best and safest place for direct, critical feedback. Find the person who will give you the tough love.