You're facilitating a large group and someone asks a difficult question. What's your plan?

As a trainer or learning facilitator, there is the pressing temptation to be an all knowing sensei. The truth is that no one is an island. As good practice, it is vital to create psychological safeties, to empower the participants to know that they can ask any question. When tackling a difficult question, it is important to acknowledge both the weight of the question and the person who has asked the question. When faced with a facilitator's block, you can invite the other participants to brainstorm on the subject. This will not only create an avenue to generate brilliant ideas, it will also create a conducive peer to peer learning experience.

Honor the person, Honor the question. Thank you, for the question. Can you repeat it to make sure I understood. Depending on the situation I may need to deal with an emotional impact on me, usually with a cleansing breath. Be open to 1 or more responses: (1) asking them what their answer might be (2) asking the group (3) answering myself (4) acknowledge I do not have an answer but promise to come back (5) be aware this question may be the one the group has been waiting for and it could change everything. Process thoughts in the moment: a) did the group hear and understand? b) Is the "difficulty" mine or the groups or ....? c) Where are we in the time flow of the agreed process and topic? c) What impact might pursuing this have?

A "big question" can be anything, and the only plan is always to answer the question. In large group setting, everything that is introduced openly into the group it's now part of the dynamic and the awareness of the group. It already had an impact, and it needs to be addressed as immediately as possible. If the "big question" was asked out in the open it means the person has profoundly been reflecting about the discussion and likely the question will enable an even more meaningful interaction and learning process. If the facilitator doesn't know the answer, then use the question as a catalyst to inquire further answers from the group. The collective wisdom of a large group will always have the answer.

There's a reason most people wait 6-8 seconds before raising their hands: question-asking is a vulnerable exercise. Beyond validating, I try to express excitement for questions, or recognize particularly thoughtful ones. "Oh, Sam, that's deep! You're gonna make me think today!"

I think that it's important to acknowledge that the question is a tough one. This will give make people sit up and pay attention. This will also give people a heads up that this could be a tough discussion. Give attendees a moment to process the question, and then gently steer the discussion toward a respectful, authentic, and dynamic conversation.

I find that once it is clear, the person asking the question often goes on to answer the question, or part of it, themselves giving their reasoning. This then prompts others in the group to discuss key points. So leave a pause, be patient and be prepared to be part of a discussion. Then clarify or return to it later.

I've found that "difficult" questions often need more exploring and my instinct is often to initially respond with "what do you think?" and then to open conversation around the subject so that the answer is never the facilitator's perspective.The discussion often clarifies the reason for the question and in many cases enriches the conversation by providing diverse answers and points of view.

The most valuable phrase in my toolkit is "what I'm hearing you say/ask is..." then rephrasing in my own words. You'll either elicit further context to clarify the question, or you'll make them feel heard and understood.

Once, someone asked a question that I thought wasn't relevant to their position in the organisation. Luckily, I am a trained Clean Language facilitator. So instead of saying what I actually thought, I asked instead: "And what's important to you about knowing that?" Their response made complete sense to their position in the organisation! I was humbled by the experience of how wrong my assumptions were and how important it is to ask clarifying questions. Other Clean Language questions I might ask are, "What kind of [their words] are that?" or "Is there anything else about [their words]?" or "Give me an example of what you mean." So, I don't paraphrase because doing that means I'm now polluting their word with my own meaning.

I try to come from a place of curiosity and depending on the question will ask follow up questions to ensure I am understanding them correctly. If I can answer the question I will, if I am unsure of the answer to the quest I will let them know that I don’t have the answer right there. I will check if anyone else in the group knows more and if not I take a bit of the question (the good old parking lot) and then follow up with the answer after checking with the right source. Sometimes this can happen during the session, if I can get the answer during the break.

Before jumping to this, I'd ask whether the question is mine to answer. We're tempted to assume, as facilitators, that when a question is directed at us, we should respond to it. Maybe a direct response isn't the best course of action - or at least perhaps not a direct response by us. Sometimes, a redirect or reframe is more productive -- even if we have an answer to give!

This was something that I wasn't very good at when I started out as a trainer / facilitator, I would always want to jump in, probably in a very defensive manner. Overtime I've learnt to relax a little bit more to lean into the question, and to use combinations of the first four points. One other aspect is also to take a mini pause and catch your breath, use this as a way to build composure, clear your mind to be more open and to be more aware of the choices you have at your disposal.

If necessary, put your large group into smaller subgroups to tackle questions. For online meetings, AirMeet is good for breakout rooms

If the question doesn't require an expert answer (i.e. "how would you handle a situation where...") I often skip right to crowdsourcing. Your job as the facilitator then becomes linking answers to principles you've talked about earlier in the session. ("Yes Blake, and when you talk about {x} that's a really good example of what we mean by Radical Candor...")

I would always ask the group for their opinions first. I am generally not the expert on a topic I am facilitating and I find that engaging the group as facilitators keeps them more engaged in the discussion.

One time when I was facilitating a "Making it Safe: Inspiring Strategies Against Sexual Harassment" workshop, a participant asked me, "Does ignoring it work?" I said to her, "Let's find out." Then I looked at the group and asked, "When has ignoring worked for you?" and "When has ignoring not worked for you?" That got everyone involved. And everyone learned that they were their own experts on when a strategy worked and when it didn't. My hope is that as a result of that, they could begin to trust themselves much more the next time they experienced sexual harassment.

Facilitating honest and open dialogue to address the 'difficult questions' that arise in groups leads to transparency, group cohesion and change.

When facilitating large events, a certain level of positive anxiety is inevitable. I vividly recall my initial experience as a facilitator, which occurred in Shanghai back in 2009 with a group of 150 participants. Reflecting on that moment, I realize I couldn't predict how I would have responded to a challenging question at the time. However, with subsequent facilitation opportunities, I've encountered similar situations that have sparked a tremendous positive energy. Like William Shorten answered before me, I would use a combination of the first four. Depending on the context, I may ask the person posing the question what prompted them to ask it, fostering deeper discussion and understanding.

The AI is asking an unsophisticated question that requires a sophisticated answer. The bot needs a ton of development. That said - the key word is “difficult”. Difficult how? Difficult for whom? Is the pursuit of the question and its line of enquiry in service of the group? There’s a few options. Hold the group in the difficulty. Ask the group what they would like to do next. Silent poll of the group on whether to process the question. Give the group a break and time to think. It just depends so much on the reading of the room which is, in the end, the facilitator’s stock in trade.

Sometimes a "difficult" question is a distraction from the focus of the session. In that case, post the question in a visible way, if possible, and leave time at the end of the session to return to it. Answer the question if you can, then ask for comments and/or concerns. If you don't have a clear answer, commit to working on it and getting back to the group. Or acknowledge it as an issue to be explored; perhaps ask for a subgroup to follow up and report back.

It really depends on the question and the event. You have to know your event, the group you are talking to, and the topic you are speaking about. You also have to own who you are as the speaker. This way you can keep control of the discussion.