A strong rapport. A feeling of being heard, understood and not judged. And questions to make them articulate their emotions. The coachee is resistant because they most probably have been judged in the past and have developed this resistance as a coping mechanism to avoid the fear of being judged. Work on the fear. Not the resistance! All the best!

Start by creating a safe and supportive environment where they feel understood. Acknowledge any reservations they have and validate their feelings. Encourage them to articulate their goals and set clear expectations about the coaching process. This helps align the purpose of your work together and gives them a sense of ownership. Invite them to explore their resistance by asking open-ended questions that don’t feel invasive or judgmental. This can help them reflect on the barriers without feeling pressured Gently reframe their resistance as a natural part of personal growth. Normalize the discomfort and position it as a stepping stone.

When coaching a resistant coachee, I focus on building trust and finding common ground. I start by acknowledging their perspective and asking open-ended questions to understand where the resistance is coming from. This lets them feel heard without judgment. Instead of diving into feedback right away, I might say, “Let’s explore what’s working for you and where we can make things smoother.” By framing the conversation as a partnership and highlighting small wins along the way, I gradually break down those walls. It’s about easing in with empathy and letting them see I’m here to support, not criticize.

As a Teen Parenting coach, I've often encountered parents or fellow coachees who resist suggestions. To break through this resistance, I focus on building rapport and trust first. I once coached a parent, who was hesitant to try new parenting strategies. Instead of pushing advice, I asked open-ended questions to understand her concerns and fears. By validating her feelings and providing small, manageable steps, she gradually became more open to trying the suggestions. The key is to approach with empathy, listen actively and offer gradual, actionable steps that respect their pace. When they feel heard, they are more likely to embrace change.

Resistance often occurs when the coachee doesn’t feel fully comfortable or trusts the coaching process. Focus on building a strong relationship by actively listening, showing empathy, and creating a non-judgmental space. Let them know you’re on their side and invested in their success. Validate the coachee’s feelings if they express resistance or discomfort. This helps them feel heard and more open to engaging. Delve deeper into what’s causing their resistance. For example, you can ask, “What’s holding you back from accepting this feedback?” or “Can you share what makes you feel uncomfortable about this process?” This helps uncover underlying fears or past experiences that might be blocking their progress.