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Your team member is defensive during feedback. How can you effectively address their response?

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Handling defensive behavior during feedback sessions is a common challenge in team leadership. It's crucial to approach such situations with empathy and skill to maintain a positive work environment and foster growth. When you encounter defensiveness, it's often a sign that your team member feels threatened or misunderstood. Your role as a leader is not only to provide constructive criticism but also to ensure that it is received in the spirit intended. The key is to create an atmosphere of trust where feedback is seen as an opportunity for development rather than a personal attack. By mastering the art of giving feedback to defensive team members, you can enhance team dynamics and encourage a culture of continuous improvement.

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Dolorosa Duncan

m-mama Regional Director, Africa|| Social entrepreneur|| Leader|| Founder|| Eisenhower Fellow|| Emerging Voice for…

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Michelle Awuku-Tatum

Executive & Team Coach ? I partner with organizations to transform leadership practices, creating cultures where people…

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Rogério Fonseca Guimar?es Peres

Consultor técnico e de gest?o estratégica em empresas do agronegócio. Experiência na Dire??o de projetos no Agronegócio…

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1 Understand Why

Defensiveness is a natural reaction when a person feels judged or attacked. Before addressing the behavior of your team member, take a moment to consider the possible reasons behind their defensiveness. They may have had negative experiences with feedback in the past, or they might be feeling insecure about their abilities. Understanding these underlying factors can help you tailor your approach, ensuring that your feedback is not only heard but also accepted. Empathy is your ally here; show that you recognize their feelings and are there to support their growth, not to criticize them as an individual.

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Dolorosa Duncan

m-mama Regional Director, Africa|| Social entrepreneur|| Leader|| Founder|| Eisenhower Fellow|| Emerging Voice for Global Health|| Board member
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Most people find it challenging to accept feedback, so when addressing a team member who responds defensively, it’s crucial to approach the situation with empathy and clarity. Start by acknowledging their feelings and emphasizing your intention to support their growth rather than criticize them personally. You might say, “I understand receiving feedback can be difficult, and I appreciate your willingness to engage in this discussion. My goal is to help us all improve and succeed together. Let’s focus on specific areas where we can make positive changes and address any concerns you may have. If anything is unclear or if you need additional support, please let me know so we can work through it constructively.”

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Michelle Awuku-Tatum

Executive & Team Coach ? I partner with organizations to transform leadership practices, creating cultures where people thrive & teams deliver meaningful impact ? Board Member ? ?? for posts on human-centered leadership.
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Consider why the team member is defensive. They: - may be worried about their performance being evaluated negatively. - might perceive feedback as personal criticism rather than constructive input. This could be due to how they receive the feedback or how you deliver the feedback. - may not trust your intentions. - might have underlying confidence issues. Then engage the team member to get their perspective: - Always ask for permission before you share feedback. - Share what you have noticed using "I" statements. - Show them that you have a vested interest in their growth & development. - Ask: I want to understand your perspective on how you best receive feedback. Can you share what would make it more helpful for you?

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Rogério Fonseca Guimar?es Peres

Consultor técnico e de gest?o estratégica em empresas do agronegócio. Experiência na Dire??o de projetos no Agronegócio por mais de 18 anos.
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Existe uma dificuldade muito grande nas empresas de fornecer um feedback claro. Muitos líderes n?o est?o preparados para dar o feedback e muitos liderados n?o est?o aptos a recebê-lo. Gosto muito do modelo STAR - Situa??o, Tarefa, A??o e Resultado. N?o é fácil separar os sentimentos dos fatos, mas acredito que essa metodologia permite envolver ambos (quem fornece e quem recebe o feedback) para uma constru??o mais assertiva de a??es que permitam engajamento. O pior com certeza é FUGIR do feedback!

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Muzna Shaukat

Gold Medalist|Product Development & Merchandising|Fashion & Textile Design|Strategic Marketing Initiatives|Customer Engagement|Brand Development|Trade Show & Event Representation|Bilingual Communication-English & Deutsch
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Communication and Understanding is the best solution. We dont know what amount of pressure people go through, so if we can just put our ownselves in their shoes and understand why, then alot of problems are easily solved..

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Samradni Dahiphale

A1 German Certified | Intern @Twinsistech | ITERA Ladies Representative | Personal Branding | Social Media Manager | 2x NPTEL Certified | Python Programmer | C Programmer | Data Visualization | Java Learner
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Defensiveness often stems from feelings of judgment or past negative experiences with feedback. Before addressing a team member's behavior, consider the underlying reasons for their defensiveness, such as past insecurities or experiences. Understanding these factors allows you to tailor your feedback more effectively, ensuring it is received positively. By approaching the situation with empathy, you show that you recognize their feelings and are committed to their growth rather than criticizing them personally. This supportive approach enhances receptivity and fosters a more constructive feedback environment.

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2 Prepare Feedback

Preparation is key when you're planning to give feedback, especially if you anticipate a defensive reaction. Craft your message carefully, focusing on specific behaviors and outcomes rather than personal traits. Use clear examples and be ready to offer solutions or training opportunities to help your team member improve. By preparing, you ensure that your feedback is constructive, actionable, and less likely to be perceived as a personal attack, which can reduce defensiveness and promote a more open dialogue.

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Michelle Awuku-Tatum

Executive & Team Coach ? I partner with organizations to transform leadership practices, creating cultures where people thrive & teams deliver meaningful impact ? Board Member ? ?? for posts on human-centered leadership.
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To prepare, clarify your intent & the type of feedback you want to share: Appreciation: Focus on recognizing & valuing the their contributions. Teaching: Provide guidance or new information to enhance performance. Skill building: Identify areas for improvement & offer support for development. Addressing a career-limiting behavior: Clearly communicate the impact of the behavior & its consequences. Create a safe space for open dialogue & learning: Demonstrate care: Show genuine interest in their well-being & development. Be specific: Provide actionable feedback that is specific, clear and practical, enabling them to take concrete steps toward improvement. Tailor feedback: Adjust the amount & depth of feedback based on their receptiveness.

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Samradni Dahiphale

A1 German Certified | Intern @Twinsistech | ITERA Ladies Representative | Personal Branding | Social Media Manager | 2x NPTEL Certified | Python Programmer | C Programmer | Data Visualization | Java Learner
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Preparation is crucial when delivering feedback, especially if a defensive reaction is anticipated. Craft your message with care, focusing on specific behaviors and outcomes rather than personal traits. Use clear examples and be prepared to offer solutions or training opportunities for improvement. This approach ensures your feedback is constructive, actionable, and minimizes the chance of being perceived as a personal attack. By being well-prepared, you foster a more open and productive dialogue, reducing defensiveness and enhancing the effectiveness of your feedback.

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Pamela Pooneh Heshmati MD,PhD,CCHt

Physician-scientist, MSL | Neuroscience, Clinical Research, Medical Liaison
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The feedback might bring up feelings of anger and hurt. Insecurity and low self-esteem is the cause of defensive behavior. Sometimes you need to pause and deal with the reaction. Clarify your good intent.

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Alvaro Sastre Salso

Unete a TAKUMI si quieres potenciar tu Liderazgo| Formamos Líderes Transformadores | Liderazgo con Impacto inmediato | #1 Comunidad de Líderes Transformadores | Top 1 Influencer LinkedIn en Liderazgo
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La preparación es clave para dar retroalimentación, especialmente si anticipas una reacción defensiva. Elabora tu mensaje enfocándote en comportamientos y resultados específicos, no en rasgos personales. Durante una sesión de retroalimentación, se pueden utilizar "Las Constelaciones del Equipo". Como facilitador, trazo un círculo y formulo preguntas específicas sobre comportamientos observados. Los miembros del equipo se posicionan en el círculo según su acuerdo o desacuerdo. Esto nos permite abordar los comentarios de manera visual y específica, facilitando la comprensión y reduciendo la actitud defensiva. Al final, todos pueden ver cómo sus comportamientos afectan al equipo.

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Alvaro Sastre Salso

Unete a TAKUMI si quieres potenciar tu Liderazgo| Formamos Líderes Transformadores | Liderazgo con Impacto inmediato | #1 Comunidad de Líderes Transformadores | Top 1 Influencer LinkedIn en Liderazgo
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Una forma efectiva es: 1. Antes de la reunión, utiliza el Arco de la Conversación para estructurar tu retroalimentación. Enfócate en comportamientos específicos y sus impactos en los resultados, evitando comentarios sobre rasgos personales. 2. Prepara ejemplos claros y recientes que ilustren el comportamiento que necesitas abordar. Asegúrate de que estos ejemplos sean objetivos y basados en hechos, lo que ayuda a evitar malentendidos. 3. Anticipa las posibles reacciones y ten a mano soluciones o propuestas de apoyo, como capacitación o mentoría, para ayudar al miembro del equipo a mejorar. 4. Incluye espacio en tu preparación para mostrar empatía y abrir un diálogo. Establece un tono que comunique tu intención de ayudar, no de criticar.

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3 Choose Timing

Timing can significantly affect how feedback is received. Look for a moment when your team member is most receptive, not when they are stressed or preoccupied with other tasks. Providing feedback immediately after a project can be beneficial, as the experience is fresh in everyone's mind. However, ensure that the setting is private and that there is enough time for a thorough discussion without interruptions. A calm, composed environment can help mitigate defensiveness and encourage a more productive conversation.

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Pamela Pooneh Heshmati MD,PhD,CCHt

Physician-scientist, MSL | Neuroscience, Clinical Research, Medical Liaison
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Effective feedback offers specific examples and it is actionable. Choosing the timing well is important.Don’t wait too long to give feedback,if you feel like your team members are receptive talk to them. Schedule a time when it is most convenient for the employees. Turn giving feedback into a routine.

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Vincent Parachini

Managing Partner at Halifax Consulting LATAM, ex-CEO, ICF Coach, expert in Sales effectiveness with over 5,000 hs of coaching, transforming your sales personnel so you achieve outstanding results.
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Never, ever, expose people in public with feedback. One to one meeting only. If not you will hurt people public image and hurt their ego.

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4 Communicate Clearly

Clear communication is essential when delivering feedback to a defensive team member. Use "I" statements to express your perspective without assigning blame, and avoid using absolute terms like "always" or "never" which may trigger defensiveness. Instead, focus on describing the impact of their actions on the team and the work. Encourage them to share their point of view as well, creating a two-way conversation that acknowledges their perspective and promotes mutual understanding.

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Michelle Awuku-Tatum

Executive & Team Coach ? I partner with organizations to transform leadership practices, creating cultures where people thrive & teams deliver meaningful impact ? Board Member ? ?? for posts on human-centered leadership.
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Have a plan to address defensive responses to enhance your communication effectiveness. Anticipate defensiveness: Consider potential reactions and plan responses. Practice delivery: Rehearse your message for clarity and impact. Stay calm: Maintain composure and avoid escalating the situation. Empathize: Show understanding of the team members' perspective. Redirect: Shift the conversation back to the feedback and its impact. Set clear expectations: Outline desired outcomes and next steps. Reiterate the goal: Remind the team member of the desired outcome. Offer support: Reassure them of your commitment to their development. Follow up: Schedule a follow-up to assess progress and provide additional support.

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Alvaro Sastre Salso

Unete a TAKUMI si quieres potenciar tu Liderazgo| Formamos Líderes Transformadores | Liderazgo con Impacto inmediato | #1 Comunidad de Líderes Transformadores | Top 1 Influencer LinkedIn en Liderazgo
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La comunicación clara es esencial cuando se entrega retroalimentación a un miembro del equipo defensivo. Use declaraciones en primera persona para expresar su perspectiva sin asignar culpas, y evite términos absolutos como "siempre" o "nunca". Concéntrese en describir el impacto de sus acciones en el equipo y el trabajo. Anímelos a compartir su punto de vista, creando una conversación bidireccional. A mi me funciona muy bien El Arco de la Conversación en Coaching". Inicio con declaraciones en primera persona, como "He notado que..." y evito términos absolutos. Describo cómo las acciones del miembro afectan al equipo y le pido su perspectiva. A través de preguntas abiertas y escuchando activamente, logramos una comunicación clara

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Pamela Pooneh Heshmati MD,PhD,CCHt

Physician-scientist, MSL | Neuroscience, Clinical Research, Medical Liaison
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-Be specific -Focus on the problem not the employee -Talk Face-to-Face -Be proactive -Listen -Lead with empathy -Be timely -Offer solution

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Vincent Parachini

Managing Partner at Halifax Consulting LATAM, ex-CEO, ICF Coach, expert in Sales effectiveness with over 5,000 hs of coaching, transforming your sales personnel so you achieve outstanding results.
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Let's people start. Ask questions to probe their own appraisal of the situation: - reg. this, what did you do well? - what did you do not so well? - what could you do better next time? Then give feedback starting always by a few positive points, then 2 points for improvements then a proposal focused on How to improve. Close with a question like: How can I support you in this additionally?

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Claudia Hoppe

Den Wandel gestalten – integrales Projekt & Change Management | SAP | #WomanInTech | #Leadership | hoppe-ips.de
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Speak clearly and directly, but without accusations. Use phrases like "I noticed..." and avoid words like "always" or "never," which can trigger defensive reactions. Show that you are working toward a shared goal: improvement, not blame.

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5 Follow Up

After providing feedback, it's important to follow up with your team member. This shows that you are committed to their improvement and that you care about their progress. Set up a meeting to discuss any changes or developments since the feedback session. This not only helps reinforce the message but also provides an opportunity for your team member to ask questions or seek further clarification. Consistent follow-up demonstrates that you are invested in their success and willing to support them through their professional journey.

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Alvaro Sastre Salso

Unete a TAKUMI si quieres potenciar tu Liderazgo| Formamos Líderes Transformadores | Liderazgo con Impacto inmediato | #1 Comunidad de Líderes Transformadores | Top 1 Influencer LinkedIn en Liderazgo
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1. Después de la retroalimentación inicial, acuerda una fecha para una reunión de seguimiento. Esto establece un compromiso claro para revisar el progreso. 2. Durante la reunión, utiliza la herramienta El Semáforo para evaluar el progreso en las áreas discutidas. Clasifica los avances en verde (mejorado), amarillo (en progreso), y rojo (necesita atención). 3. Con base en la revisión, ajusta las metas si es necesario y ofrece apoyo adicional donde se identifiquen áreas en rojo o amarillo. 4. Finaliza la reunión reiterando tu apoyo continuo y acordando el próximo seguimiento, manteniendo el diálogo abierto y demostrando tu compromiso con su éxito.

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6 Encourage Growth

Encourage your team member to view feedback as a growth opportunity. Help them understand that everyone has areas they can improve upon and that feedback is a tool for personal and professional development. Offer resources such as training sessions, workshops, or mentorship that can aid in their improvement. By framing feedback within the context of growth and learning, you can transform defensiveness into motivation and foster a culture of continuous improvement within your team.

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Bernardo López

Sales Manager / Account Executive @OrderEAT / @Ex-Rappi | Sales Management
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Prepara la conversación antes de tenerla: 1.Identificar y analizar las cosas buenas que ha realizado el colaborador. Hacerlas notar al inicio de la conversación siempre ayudará a bajar las barreras negativas, además de que apertura una conversación amable y fluida. 2. Mostrar interés genuino en ayudar en el desarrollo profesional y personal del colaborador. Recordemos que todos tenemos objetivos profesionales y personales. 3. Indica las oportunidades de mejora que tiene el colaborador. Con empatía y ofreciendo apoyo para lograrlo en equipo. 4. Escucha abiertamente e identifica el “dolor” de tu colaborador. De esta forma podrás aportar una solución directa de interés compartido. “Si quieres miel del panal, no lo agarres a patadas”.

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Lon Graham

Sales Leadership Expert | Sales Professional | Speaker | GA Dawg Fan ??
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We often use feedback as a means to talk about what's wrong. This approach invites defensiveness. I talk to sales leaders about offering guidance instead. Most people want to learn how to get better. And, they want to learn how to get better from their boss. Before they're willing to listen to you about how to get better, they want you to give them credit for the work they've done to get to this point. Give them credit first, then coach. My method is the "Like and Learn Method". Start by talking about what you Like that they're doing. This reinforces the behavior you want to continue. Then talk about what you can Learn to get a better outcome next time. Instead of feedback, offer guidance. Use my "Like and Learn Method" to do it.

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Alvaro Sastre Salso

Unete a TAKUMI si quieres potenciar tu Liderazgo| Formamos Líderes Transformadores | Liderazgo con Impacto inmediato | #1 Comunidad de Líderes Transformadores | Top 1 Influencer LinkedIn en Liderazgo
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Fomentar el crecimiento es clave para que los miembros de tu equipo vean los comentarios como una oportunidad de mejora. Ayúdales a entender que todos tienen áreas en las que pueden crecer y que la retroalimentación es una herramienta para el desarrollo personal y profesional. Una herramienta del HR Agile Framework útil en esta situación es "El HR Agile Coach Growth Wheel". Esta herramienta ayuda a visualizar áreas de desarrollo y trazar un plan de acción. Durante una sesión de retroalimentación, utilizo "El HR Agile Coach Growth Wheel". Juntos, identificamos áreas de mejora y discutimos cómo los comentarios pueden impulsar su desarrollo. Creamos un plan de acción que incluye recursos como talleres y sesiones de capacitación.

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Mashhood Naseer

Country Leader, GROHE Pakistan & Afghanistan @ LIXIL IMEA Emerging Markets Business Leader | Driving Revenue Growth and Business Expansion | Results-Oriented Strategist and Sales Expert
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I'll acknowledge their emotions and show empathy, ensuring they feel heard and understood. I'll then refocus the conversation on specific behaviors or actions, rather than personal traits, using "what" and "how" questions to encourage self-reflection. By providing concrete examples and data, I'll help them see the impact of their actions. I'll also involve them in finding solutions, asking open-ended questions to encourage ownership and accountability. Additionally, I'll emphasize the purpose of the feedback - to support their growth and success - and offer resources for development. By maintaining a calm, non-judgmental tone and focusing on collaborative problem-solving, I'll help them shift from defensiveness to constructive dialogue.

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Your team member is defensive during feedback. How can you effectively address their response?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Understand Why

2 Prepare Feedback

3 Choose Timing

4 Communicate Clearly

5 Follow Up

6 Encourage Growth

Team Leadership

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Your team member is defensive during feedback. How can you effectively address their response?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Understand Why

2 Prepare Feedback

3 Choose Timing

4 Communicate Clearly

5 Follow Up

6 Encourage Growth

Team Leadership

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