Your team is facing conflicts. How can you use emotional intelligence to create harmony and productivity?

I think one of the first things to understand is that emotional intelligence skills are not a magic pill - a helluva multi-vitamin, but not magic. EI is the foundation and boost that makes other skills more effective. So, teams with high average EI support each other, be more innovative, more successful under task stress, and tend to resolve conflict easily and communicate effectively. The thing that EI skills bring a team looking for harmonious productivity is *essential* skills in emotional regulation - self and others - so time and energy/resources are not OVERspent managing the emotional experience of team work. Teams are more productive because they're not spending their energy on unproductive behaviors.

Sometimes teams are not that skilled at recognising and identifying their emotions and this can cause miscommunication and conflicts at times. Skilled conversations around how the emotions are impacting each member of the tram and what underlying values may be at risk can help identofy a way forward. At times, we may need to use external tools and resources as well, and at times support of external professionals may be needed in addressing emotions.

Dialogue is key, but here again some important EI skills make it more effective and more successful. The significant skill here is emotional reasoning which allows us to "depersonalize" information. That is, we can communicate and receive information in objective frames. If you've ever worked with someone who takes everything personally, you know what effective EI supported dialogue does NOT look like. Facilitators and excellent leaders know how important this is. To be able to separate content/events from feelings is CRITICAL to effective dialogue, on every side of the conversation. And when our conflict runs deep, it runs into identity - here we need excellent EI skills to maintain focus and equilibrium while challenged.

I am really resonating with this right now. Lately, I have members of my team who take things like critique very personally. It can be difficult, especially for those more junior in their careers, to separate feedback or criticism (constructive or otherwise) from personal critique. Often, I find this is because they put so much of who they are into the work that they do and identify personally with their output. This isn’t a flaw. But it does take a very in-tune leader to help navigate situations where project outcomes are tied to how team members measure their individual success and contributions. These team members are often the most passionate, and understanding and engaging their passion with empathy is key.

Rather than emphatising with the other person at the level of result or emotion, it helps to identify the underlying value at risk. This can help two sides understand the core of the problem better and relate better to the other side.

Implementing solutions - easier said than done, right? Have you had those meetings where everyone feels positive and thinks, "Yeah, this is great!" Then the next week follows, and month and year - crickets! Let's not have that happen. Based on assessing the room's emotions and fostering open dialogue, it's time to work with real solutions. If your team is stressed due to the workload, don't offer them the dreaded "pizza party." Get to work with solutions - move stuff off their plate, set expectations with stakeholders, and create an open space where they can discuss their challenges and the help they need to tackle them.