Your mentee is not using the support you give them. What can you do to help them succeed?

Being asked to mentor someone is a true gift and not one to be taken lightly. Someone is showing enough faith in you to open up about areas where they may feel exposed or uncomfortable. The approach that I agree with anyone I mentor is to understand that together we can explore experiences and options that are available to them for particular situations. There is absolutely no reason for them to feel they have to then follow this advice. It could be that having had the convey, they make a decision to back their own thoughts. Fantastic as far as I am concerned.

With regards to mentorship, speak to your mentee, find out what their weaknesses are. And monitor progress. If the advice is not working, try a new method. Try to better understand your mentee. Mentorship is not just about telling someone what to do, but being with them and going through the experience with them. Most mentorships fail because of a lack of understanding. Find out if you are also the best person to address their need or goal, if it does not resonate, then refer the mentee to people within your network that aligns to their goals. Different perspective also unleash better understanding. Results from mentorship are not immediate but it takes time and progress to achieve growth.

If a mentee is not leveraging the support, it is the mentor's job to ask and unravel why this is the case. In my experience unmotivated mentees fall into one of two categories: 1. Those who are cynical about an intervention that they have been offered (or 'volunteered' into) by an employer. They resist it as something else to add to their already full plate. 2. Those who are inexperienced and do not understand how to leverage the opportunity or feel they have little to offer to their mentor. In both cases, an experienced mentor will be able to facilitate a productive conversation leading to a positive and constructive outcome. Occasionally the reason is a mismatch and if so, it is vital to discuss and then rematch as needed.

In this case, I think the best thing a mentor can do is to directly tell them that they're not properly utilizing you. And then ask directly why? I see too many mentors that don't address this head on, since they save themselves meetings with the mentee. But that's a key part of being a mentor: you have to help your mentee where they're struggling. In this case, the mentee needs to know that they're not properly utilizing your knowledge/expertise, but in the spirit of being helpful, you should teach them how to best utilize you (or a future mentor) by giving them tangible guidance and next steps.

The First thing to do when things don't go the way you expect is, to acknowledge it and let the mentee know. Just let them know, to ensure if they're aware of the fact that they're not following you. Most of the times, they either wouldn't have understood the suggestions or action points clearly. Once we ensure that they're aware, then it's time to ask unbiased questions to understand their take on the action points provided. Based on this, we could identify any improvements from our end, or clarify the misunderstandings and setup a better approach to convey effectively.

There is no set rule it’s about communication trust and collaboration. A mentee can have ten mentors or one and vice versa. If a mentor needs to stay invested in a mentee there is a sense of mutual respect understanding each other’s boundaries and respecting each other’s time and valuing feedback. It’s not a one way process where the mentor only gives and the mentee only takes the intellectual juice out of their brains.

1. Make sure that your mentee is feeling safe 2. Make sure mentee has the task to be solved 3. Make sure mentee has the interest in solving it You can lead the horse to the water, but you can’t make the horse drink it.

If your mentee isn't utilizing support, revisit and agree on clear, achievable goals collaboratively. Ensure alignment with their aspirations and address any concerns hindering support utilization. Foster open communication, actively listen to their needs, and adapt your mentoring approach accordingly. Establish a shared understanding of expectations, and encourage regular check-ins to assess progress. By collectively defining goals, you enhance commitment, motivation, and the likelihood of effective support utilization, fostering a more productive and engaged mentoring relationship.

A mentor/mentee in its truest form is a relationship built on a desire by both parties to teach and to learn. What are the objectives? Why were they assigned in the first place and what, as a mentee did they seek to gain from the relationship whether required or not. Only through mutually aligned objectives and willingness does this type of relationship come together.

When mentoring you have to gauge the mentees interest and coach them into identifying their goals. You want to avoid creating their goal for them as you want to ensure they own their development.

If your mentee isn't utilizing the support, adapt by assessing their preferred learning style and communication methods. Tailor your guidance to align with their needs and goals. Encourage candid conversations to understand any challenges or preferences affecting support utilization. Modify your approach based on their feedback and create a flexible mentoring plan. By adjusting your support to cater to their individual preferences and requirements, you enhance the mentee's engagement and optimize the impact of your guidance. Continuous adjustments promote a dynamic and effective mentorship relationship.

If your mentee is not utilizing the support you are providing, maybe it is because it is not the support they need. Have a willingness to listen and observe to learn about what type of support they may find beneficial. Then, see how you may incorporate that kind of support into mentoring.

As a mentor, we must 'Learn' to evaluate the 'Value' we are offering to mentee. If there is a different 'measurement', then our efforts may go waste. In that case, it is required to change our course. We must suggest our solutions 'being in their shoes'. This helps to view the world from their perspective and re-imagine the problem and possible solutions. Mentor has to be sensitive and adjust their support so that there is maximum 'value' to mentee.

Very important here. You are adapting to the mentee and his/her progress, not yours. This allows you to ensure the mentee has ownership of his development.

If your mentee is not using your support, it's because your support isn't helpful. So, change. Observe what they say, how they say it, what they ask, and what they do. Ask questions. Then, use your observations to intentionally switch gears. Respond accordingly. Be a scientist and experiment until you find what works. Stay ready to adjust on a regular basis because their life and needs will change.

Recurring meetings is a method for creating a habit of personal development. Putting it in the calendar shows it’s important for investing in ourselves. That time must be sacrosanct and not abused by either mentor/ee. This is our time to grow and has the highest ROI is committed long term.

Clarify boundaries and expectations if your mentee isn't utilizing support. Discuss mutual goals and establish a clear framework for collaboration. Clearly communicate the importance of active engagement and commitment to the mentorship process. Encourage open dialogue about their expectations and potential obstacles. Set achievable milestones to track progress and provide a structured roadmap for utilizing the support effectively. By establishing boundaries and expectations, you create a foundation for a more purposeful and mutually beneficial mentorship dynamic.

Communication ways,how to share feedback, how much support material to be made available, conflict address mechanism should be discussed and agreed upon. Nothing should be assumed or presumed.

While working with teens, one thing I have found useful is to emphasize their role in everything that we plan. Achieving the goal, getting rid of negative thoughts, building certain study skills - I keep telling them that I can give them the tools but they are the ones who need to use the tools and that's the only way to move forward. The ownership lies with them. It helps in building accountability.

Comunicación; es importante que el aprendiz sepa en todo momento cuales son sus funciones, sus herramientas con que puede contar, el apoyo o los apoyos que puede ayudarle, los limites que tendrá, los posibles obstáculos que puedan haber, y darle confianza en que está capacitado para ello, por eso se le da dichos objetivos,

Address conflicts and challenges if your mentee isn't utilizing support. Initiate a candid conversation to identify any underlying issues impacting their engagement. Actively listen to their concerns, providing a safe space for open communication. Collaboratively seek solutions, adjusting the support structure as needed. Address any conflicts promptly, fostering a positive and transparent mentoring relationship. By proactively dealing with challenges, you create an environment conducive to effective support utilization, ensuring the mentee feels heard and supported in overcoming obstacles. This approach strengthens the mentorship bond and promotes a constructive learning experience.

Have patience in addressing the conflicts. Put across your expectations. Persist slowly and continuously . Give space for their views and time to adapt.

Comunicación; en todo momento debe de haber un hilo de comparación bidireccional, con respeto y responsabilidad de sus actos y palabras, se deben de llegar a comprender, a llegar a un entendimiento y marcar dichas pautas. Aclarar que esa comunicación debe de ser fluida pero a la vez eficiente con cierto esfuerzo detrás para poder plantear el problema a resolver.

Em alguns casos, pode ser necessário enfrentar conflitos e desafios para ajudar seu mentorado a ter sucesso. Isso pode ser feito de maneira construtiva e respeitosa, focando na resolu??o do problema e no desenvolvimento do mentorado. Aqui est?o algumas dicas para enfrentar conflitos e desafios: Mantenha a calma e a compostura. Evite ser accusatorio ou defensivo. Concentre-se no problema, n?o na pessoa. Escute atentamente o que seu mentorado tem a dizer. Trabalhe juntos para encontrar uma solu??o que funcione para ambos.

Na minha experiência de mentoria tive uma mentorada que me tirava da zona de conforto a todo momento, seja pelo seu tom ir?nico em questionar meus métodos e busca de conhecimento, seja pela sua resistência natural em buscar mudan?a de alguns hábitos que a prejudicavam. Ao longo do processo de mentoria sentia muita culpa, impotência e até raiva dela, até que entendi que muitas das suas provoca??es eram pontos que eu realmente precisava ampliar e aperfei?oar em mim. Moral da história: mentores também aprendem com seus mentorados, principalmente os mais difíceis.

Measure. React. What specific actions lead to the outcome desired or not. What must change. Nothing changes until something changes.

Evaluate and reflect on the mentorship dynamic if your mentee isn't utilizing support. Assess the effectiveness of your guidance, considering their learning style and preferences. Reflect on potential mismatches in expectations or communication. Seek feedback from the mentee about their experience and identify areas for improvement. Adapt your approach based on this evaluation, ensuring a more tailored and effective mentoring process. By continuously assessing and reflecting, you enhance the mentorship experience, fostering a supportive environment that aligns with the mentee's needs and goals.

One of the other ways I found is to sit across and Re Assess, Evaluate & Discuss on Goals statements. It should help align / address the conflicts. Firmly believe - if Goals are truly understood and well agreed with The Mission / Vision in mind , no reason for any conflict, even if is related to personnel Values. - Every professionals is committed to play Reel role, with full dedication. - Every conflict will have a definitive cause and resolution / staging method, if understood to root , with postive mindset

Setting checkpoints is important to ensure that communication about the relationship is being had. Are logistics like the mentorship method and frequency meeting the outcomes? Information can be collected via surveys, feedback forms, or simply in conversation.

During the mentoring process, the impact of the mentor's efforts on the mentee can be clearly observed. After a certain point, the mentee will clearly appreciate the mentor's efforts. If these two elements are fulfilled, there is no need for further bureaucratic action in my view to evaluate the success of the process.

Sometimes you can lead the horse to water but you cannot made the horse drink. The 6 steps listed here are great for you to reflect on what you could do differently and how you could change. That being said, sometimes it is not in your control and you need to be ok with that. Don't make it about you.

We always keep in mind that the final decision in the mentoring process lies with the mentee. Our responsibility is to provide services as per the agreement terms and conditions. Whether the mentee will follow or not it is his/her choice. If we feel is appropriate we can discuss during the next session and mention what we noticed and see how the mentee feels about it, however we cannot push for execution. Sometimes it takes more time for some people to implement the changes because they just have some other priorities that were not there when they started the program.??

I would consider that a mentor mentee relationship is never just one way. Just because a mentee is not utilising your support, it does not mean that they are a poor mentee. Ultimately your goal is to provide support, but in doing so you might highlight areas that you yourself need to work on and that can become part of the story of your joint mentorship. Both growing and learning together to become more fulfilled and drive yourselves forward in the mentorship spaces and goals you have identified.

Lots of great advice here and I agree that you can pivot and adapt your strategies. 2 other things to consider... (1) be empathetic - perhaps timing isn't right for them or other things are going on in their lives that may be preventing them from following your advice. Different people do things differently! and (2) in a mentor/mentee relationship, there should never be an expectation that the mentee will follow (or even agree with) everything you suggest; you are there to provide coaching, guidance (when relevant), and support (always).

Much to be learned by digging in, getting curious and understanding why not to improve your skills as a mentor which then develops you to adapt accordingly.