As a facilitator, I don't actually have 'authority.' My job is to unlock the wisdom of the room to move us towards our agreed upon goals. With that comes the foundational belief that anything that enters a space I'm facilitating is there for a reason. The framework the question comes from is oppositional: my 'authority is being challenged, how do I overcome the challenge.' I have a different framework: how might the 'challenge' enhance the conversation? How is it benefitting the space? With that as a framework, I lead with curiosity and invite the group member into relationship with their own needs, with me if I'm a trigger, and with the larger room. From there, what initially presents as a challenge becomes a gateway to conversation.

Stay calm and composed when challenged. Acknowledge the person’s point respectfully with something like, "I appreciate you sharing that." Then, gently remind the group of the agreed-upon ground rules and your role as facilitator to guide the conversation. Restate: "My role here is to ensure we stay on track and achieve our objectives." Redirect the focus by steering the conversation back to the agenda: "Let's bring it back to our goals today and make the best use of our time." Involve the broader group by asking, "What do others think about this?" This encourages participation and reminds everyone that the discussion is for the benefit of the entire group. If the disruption continues, consider having a private conversation during a break.

I was just starting out as a facilitator when a senior leader asked me (out loud, so the group could hear): ‘Do you know what I’m doing?’ When I shook my head, he replied ‘I’m adding up the salaries of all of us in the room and calculating how much money you are wasting in this session.’ Wow. How to respond? I could have: - Appealed to the others to support me - Tried to fight fire with fire, giving him a snappy response - Attempted to defuse with humor - Ignored him and moved on - Stopped everything and tried to understand his ‘languages’: the language of his words PLUS the language of his emotions. I used the last one … asking questions. Praised his candor, preferring things in the open. It ended fine- the issue was not me at all!