It’s like trying to see your reflection in a foggy mirror—self-awareness is tough when the clarity isn’t there. To guide a coachee towards self-discovery, start by asking them reflective questions that challenge their assumptions and highlight their blind spots. Encourage journaling or mindfulness practices to help them pause and assess their actions and emotions. Use feedback from peers to provide them with a mirror they can trust. Sometimes, it’s not about telling them what they should see, but helping them notice it for themselves. The key is to be the guide, not the answer. "The best leaders know themselves first before leading others!"

- Ask reflective questions to encourage self-reflection. - Use feedback tools like 360-degree assessments or personality tests. - Encourage journaling to document thoughts and experiences. - Teach active listening and openness to feedback. - Help identify blind spots through role-playing or scenarios. - Set specific, measurable goals for self-awareness. - Model self-awareness by sharing your own experiences. - Introduce mindfulness practices like meditation. - Create a safe, non-judgmental space for exploration. - Challenge assumptions with probing questions. - Use frameworks like the Johari Window or GROW model. - Celebrate progress to reinforce growth and motivation.

Great leaders aren’t just born—they’re built through self-awareness. One of the most powerful ways to guide a coachee toward self-discovery is by asking the right questions instead of giving direct answers. Questions like, “What do you think led to that outcome?” or “How do you think others perceive your leadership?” create moments of reflection. Pair this with real-time feedback and a structured framework, like the Enneagram, to help them see blind spots. Growth starts when they shift from reacting to reflecting.

When a coachee lacks self-awareness, I like to think of it as an invitation for them to step into the role of their own detective. I encourage them to carve out a few minutes after key interactions or decisions to jot down what they noticed about themselves—what worked, what didn't, and what emotions were stirred. Sometimes, I ask them to reflect on a specific moment when they felt in control or, conversely, out of sync and then break it down: What did they observe? How did they respond? What might have been different? Ultimately, I remind them that self-discovery is their own journey, and I'm here to support them along the way. I've seen firsthand how a few small shifts in perspective can unlock a whole new level of leadership growth.

Taking the time to help the person zoom out of their current reality may work. I think a series of reflection outside of the moment is called for. Ask: what do you want your 70 year old self to say about your leadership? Then, ask, what are the things that you said and did to get you there? Then, ask them to evaluate where they are now with those actions. Bonus question: what how can you ensure that you’re moving in that direction in a way that honors people and yourself? This line of questioning keeps the coach non-attached and puts the growth squarely in leader’s lap and then sets the leader’s trajectory to set goals for growth moving forward.