Your client is resistant to personal growth in coaching. How can you help them break through?

Resistance to personal growth is often rooted in fear—fear of the unknown, fear of failure, or even fear of success. As a coach, my role is to create a safe space where my client and I are able to explore these fears together. We start by identifying what’s holding them back, gently unpacking those barriers. I encourage them to take small, manageable steps that build their confidence and trust in the process. Growth isn’t about leaps; it’s about consistent, intentional movement forward. I’m here to support my coaching clients every step of the way, helping them see that the discomfort is temporary, but the transformation is long lasting.

When a client resists personal growth, I approach it with patience and empathy. I’ve had clients who were hesitant to dive into personal topics, often out of fear of change or the unknown. Instead of pushing, I acknowledge their discomfort and focus on building trust. By setting small, achievable goals and moving at their pace, I help them feel more comfortable and open up gradually. The key is to create a safe space where they feel supported, not judged. When clients realize they can take their time, the resistance often softens, allowing true growth to begin.

The first thing is to understand their resistance, what is holding them back. Is it fear, lack of confidence, or past experiences? Then Address those barriers directly, with patience and empathy.

Understanding the reason for your client's resistance and helping THEM understand why it's there as well is important to establishing trust and empathy in the coaching relationship. It can also give insight into what may be needed to move past the resistance in a way that feels empowering for your clients instead of fearful. Often, resistance is due to underlying or subconscious fears that the client may not be aware of. The more you can flush these out, the easier it becomes to help your client resolve both the fears and the resistance.

Understanding why the resistance is there in the first place, will be the win both you and your client need. Although sometimes a client will have decided that remaining in status quo is less of an effort for them, sadly. It won't happen much but, making it a practice ton pre -select carefully, who you work with , will save a lot of frustration.

Goals can give your clients clarity and something definitive to strive for. Sometimes resistance shows up when a client is overwhelmed, confused or simply unclear on where to begin. By helping them get clear on the outcome they're hoping to create and breaking it down for them in terms of small, achievable goals, you can give them the confidence and clarity they need to move past the resistance.

When a client resists personal growth, encourage them to reflect on their current situation and what’s holding them back. Reflection helps them understand the root of their resistance, whether it’s fear, past experiences, or discomfort with change. Guide them through questions like, “What’s the worst that could happen?” or “How would life look if you embraced growth?” Reflection turns the abstract into something concrete, making it easier to tackle. It’s like holding up a mirror—not just for vanity checks but to see the spinach stuck in your teeth! After all, clarity often starts with a good, hard look.

Building resilience is key to helping a resistant client embrace personal growth. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks, and it’s developed through facing challenges, not avoiding them. Introduce them to small, manageable challenges that stretch their comfort zone, showing them that growth doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Over time, they’ll learn that setbacks are just stepping stones to progress—like realizing that every “no” in life is just practice for the next “yes.” And remind them, “Resilience is like a muscle—the more you use it, the less you’ll need to call it a ‘pull-up.’”

Resilience is one of the most important skills anyone can have. When things aren't working out the way we had hoped or as quickly as we had hoped, it's easy to give into the resistance and stop pursuing our goals. But if our identity is that of a resilient individual, chances are that we'll push past the resistance and move forward even when it would be easier to stop. In that sense, resistance is the most important factor in the ability to successfully achieve our goals.

Celebrating progress, no matter how small, is crucial in breaking through resistance. Acknowledge and celebrate their achievements, even if they seem minor, to reinforce positive behavior and build momentum. This could be as simple as recognizing a moment of self-awareness or a small step toward a goal. Celebrations create positive reinforcement, making the idea of growth more appealing and less intimidating—like throwing a party for every tiny victory because, hey, who doesn’t love a good excuse for cake? Remind them that “Rome wasn’t built in a day, but they probably had a lot of pizza parties along the way!”

Celebrating wins - even small wins - along the way can keep a client motivated and show them that they're actually making progress. Most people tend to look at how far they still have to go and minimize how far they've come. This can be de-moralizing and increase resistance. By focusing the progress you've already made, you naturally build momentum, boost your confidence, and stay motivated to keep moving forward.