Your client is hesitant to set goals for coaching sessions. How can you build trust in this situation?

Start by building rapport through honest and open conversations. Understand their values, motivations, and concerns, and tailor your advice to their unique needs rather than relying on your own experiences. Don’t give advice based on what you know. Give advice based on what they NEED. This approach fosters a supportive environment where they feel understood and are more willing to set goals.

One thing I've discovered from mentoring people is that it's difficult for anyone to embrace change. Secondly, most people have the wrong notion of what mentorship is and so do not have goals, they prefer to go with whatever the mentor says. For people seeking mentorship without proper guidance, the best thing is to show you care about their future and career and not just about now. Ask meaningful questions about them as a person. It's not just about showing you care about them. It's to also have a gpod and common ground for conversations to flow naturally and not be awkward.

I think empathy and understanding should come naturally to a coach, you must genuinely be interested in your client’s needs or success. You ask questions about them, their values and what's important to them so you can understand them and build a connection. With this knowledge and connection, you build a relationship that helps you, as the coach, to work with them to the best of your capabilities to help them succeed. Instead of rigid goals, discuss desired outcomes - positive changes they'd like to see. By focusing on understanding their needs, emphasizing positive outcomes, and celebrating progress, you build trust and guide them towards setting goals collaboratively.

Coaching is different from mentoring. If a client signs up to coaching - setting goals is the first step in every coaching session and coaching program. Mentoring might be less so goals-based and more advice-based. To direct a client to set up goals - every session should start with the question what do you want us to work on today? Every coaching session should follow GROW format in one form or another. (Goal-Reality-Options-Way forward). If the client is lost in defining the goal - the coach should guide them through the right questioning to still get to some kind of Goal in SMART format.

Building rapport is the cornerstone of any coaching relationship. As an IT Services coach, engaging in deeper conversations with clients is crucial. Ask about their interests, values, and passions. This approach makes clients feel valued and helps you understand their motivations. When clients see genuine care beyond goal-setting, trust naturally forms, which is vital for guiding them toward meaningful goals. In my experience, when clients feel understood and supported, they are more open to adopting new strategies. Understanding personal aspirations alongside business objectives reveals insights that drive effective outcomes and foster a collaborative environment for sustainable growth.

Perhaps the goals are more pleasant to the coach rather than the coachee. This happens even to experienced coaches. A good way to assess the true goals is to reduce the size of the goal and see how the client reacts. And sometimes there are no session goals to set and the coach should be aware of their ambitions.

In the IT industry, where technical expertise often overshadows personal values, ensuring that business objectives resonate with what clients truly care about can lead to more meaningful & sustained success. When clients see their goals as reflections of their core values, they are more motivated and committed to achieving them. This fosters trust and makes the coaching relationship more effective, driving better outcomes for their business. Understanding a client's values also allows for a more customized coaching approach. Eg. if a client values innovation and creativity, setting goals that encourage these aspects can lead to more enthusiastic engagement. If stability & reliability are key values, goals can be framed to enhance qualities.

Ask questions to get the perspective of the individual. What’s leading to the decision to not set goals? What happens if goals are not set? What successes are possible by setting goals? Understanding the readiness is essential.

There can be several reasons for this hesitation: Child Position: The client might be avoiding responsibility. Coach's Directiveness: Being too directive can create a parent-child dynamic, leading to resistance. Reflect on your coaching style to ensure it's collaborative rather than authoritative. Lack of Partnership: Not checking in with the client on how your feedback resonates can cause a disconnect. Regularly seek their input and adjust accordingly. To build trust, start by reflecting on your approach. Then, use direct communication to share your observations and ask for their thoughts. For example: "I've noticed we haven't set clear goals yet. I want to ensure we're aligned. How do you feel about setting goals together?"

Asses how accountability has been addressed in the past. Goal-setting has a past of misuse and the erosion of trust when connected to performance. Goals within coaching are couched within self-improvement and can be more effective within categories such as personal, professional, community, relationship, etc. The category is used to reduce hesitancy as goals are being set to improve in areas that are unconnected to bottom-lines at a company. They contribute to a healthy individual with higher emotional intelligence which, alone, will make for a better employee, but the intention is about communicating the outcome of goals. Goals-setting is a deeply personal and private activity that make have a history to be unwound with a mentee.

From my perspective as an IT Services coach, breaking down goals into smaller, actionable steps is essential. In the IT industry, where projects can be complex and overwhelming, this strategy helps clients stay motivated and maintain momentum. Recognizing and celebrating small wins reinforces positive behavior and builds confidence, making larger goals seem more achievable. This method not only eases the journey but also creates a sustainable path to long-term success, ensuring clients remain focused and driven. We use our framework which is the 6 week game plan to get around this problem.

As a coach, you can help the client in setting intentions for desired outcomes and making plans that are specific, measurable, alive, relevant, time-bound and shared. This will help them take incremental steps towards their goal which would not seem daunting. During the goal setting process, the coach can ask empowering questions such as "What energizes you about the goal?" or "How will that look when it is complete?"

This reminds me of the quote by John Donne. “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.” When coaching a client, you have to show them that they are Not alone. It is the same when working on a team or project within an organization. Like the client, team members must know that they have a support system that is active and ready to assist where necessary. Being authentically encouraging, meaning their success is also your success, will reinforce their confidence in themselves and you as their coach.

As an IT Services coach, I've seen how vital ongoing support is for sustained success. In the fast-paced IT industry, challenges are inevitable, and knowing they have a reliable partner can make a significant difference for your clients. Consistent communication and timely advice help navigate hurdles and keep clients focused on their objectives. This steadfast support ensures they stay motivated and committed, fostering a deeper, more productive coaching relationship.