If a client is feeling frustrated after a relapse, the key is to help them reframe their experience, regain confidence, and move forward with a renewed sense of purpose. Here’s how I would approach it: 1. Acknowledge Their Feelings. 2. Reframe the Setback 3. Identify Triggers & Patterns 4. Reinforce Their Strengths 5. Adjust the Plan if Needed 6. Encourage Self-Compassion 7. Recommit & Take the Next Step

If a client had a relapse, showed up, and expressed frustration about it… I would be celebrating. The client has not given up. They are back, and have continued to express motivation for change. I would want to ensure that they knew how important that is, and how that kind of response to a relapse is a very positive sign. It’s normal for people to feel frustrated and deflated. Then, I would invite the client to reflect back on the incident. What triggers were there? What happened? What would they want to see different, next time? How has their vision of themselves evolved? I would want the client to walk away with an enhanced action plan to move forward with.

I prefer to use the word lapse instead of relapse. The first thing to work with my clients is to validate the emotion they feel when they experience a lapse. Then they are able to listen to me saying: Lapses are often a natural part of the recovery journey from an eating disorder. These are learning opportunities to grow from. These will not diminish the progress you have already made. And I also often tell my clients that one of the strongest indicator of recovery is their willingness to go back to the meal plan that helped them before, to the skills that learned, to continue to count on their support system and to get curious about the triggers for a lapse.

A relapse isn't the end of sobriety/clean time. It's like falling up the stairs; you get back up and keep going. You got this!!

When a client relapses, the first session back is crucial—not for dissecting mistakes, but for reclaiming progress. Start by normalizing the setback. A relapse isn’t failure; it’s data. What led here? What patterns emerged? Approach the conversation with curiosity, not correction. Identify what worked before and what might need adjusting. This isn’t about starting over but refining the path forward. Reinforce that progress isn’t erased—it’s tested. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s resilience. By shifting focus from frustration to insight, you help the client rebuild with clarity, self-compassion, and a stronger strategy.