You have a difficult board member to deal with. How do you get them on your side?

When faced with a challenging board member, it's essential to approach the situation with diplomacy and tact. One effective strategy is to actively listen to their concerns and perspectives, demonstrating empathy and understanding. By acknowledging their viewpoints and engaging in constructive dialogue, you can build rapport and foster a collaborative atmosphere. Additionally, presenting well-researched data and compelling arguments can help sway their opinion in favor of your proposed course of action. Ultimately, cultivating open communication and finding common ground are key to gaining their support and alignment with organizational objectives.

All of the conflicts and difficulties arises because of the difference in mindsets, perspectives and views. In such case when You have a difficult board member to deal with, first and foremost try to understand their point of view and deal this whole situation diplomatically and tactically. Try to empathize with their concerns and goal and see if you can find common ground or not. This is something that you need to keep in mind. Signing off!

The free currency — In my entrepreneurial journey, I've learned that credit is the currency that costs nothing but buys everything. Taking a board member out for coffee, listening more than talking, and then publicly acknowledging their contributions has been part of my ‘secret sauce’. It's about recognizing their value beyond the boardroom. This approach has turned challenging dynamics into thriving partnerships.

Start by reading Plato’s Meno. The answer is not what is virtue, but how they get to the answer. Now you need to Build Trust and Report. Step four should be the first step. Find out how the company values align with that of the board member. Help them to be bought in. Learn how their experiences have them thinking in a different direction, and how those might be able to help you achieve those goals, or make a wise pivot. If they are fighting just to cause consternation, use Socratic Method so that your ideas become theirs. Helping them to achieve ownership in the path forward can allow you to let them lead in the change vs block the path.

Alright, let's start by putting ourselves in their shoes. Understanding where they're coming from is crucial to finding common ground and building rapport. Take some time to delve into their background, interests, and motivations. What are their priorities and concerns? By gaining insights into their perspective, you can tailor your approach to better resonate with them.

Now that we've got a handle on their perspective, it's time to open up the lines of communication. Clear and respectful communication is key to fostering positive relationships, even in challenging situations. Be transparent about your own views and objectives, and encourage them to do the same. Listen actively, ask questions, and seek to understand before seeking to be understood. Remember, it's not just about what you say, but how you say it.

Facts and logic are the best way to anchor your argument, so you want to get them to express their thoughts on why they think a different part is optimal. You should also determine their emotional connection to their beliefs. The “Why” is critical here as you can continue to get their “Buy In” or begin to shift their position if their pushback is being done to just muddy up the process. Logic is the root of the tree, but how we view what we see on top will always evoke emotion. Learning how to “Nudge” (Daniel Pink) is a useful tool in this process. And we are looking for that “Win Win”. We are also emotional creatures, so never dismiss someone’s emotions or beliefs, weave them into the fabric of the process.

Cultivate humility in leadership — Admitting you're not always right is not a sign of weakness but a demonstration of strength. I am known for acknowledging and respecting diverse viewpoints. I have learnt that humility fosters an environment where everyone feels heard and valued, encouraging open dialogue and innovation. Accepting that those ideas wear your partner’s name solidifies trust and respect within the team, making it easier to navigate future challenges together. It's about building a culture where the best idea wins, not just the CEO's idea.

Last but not least, let's tackle the issues head-on and work towards resolution. Identify the specific areas of disagreement or conflict and address them constructively. Focus on finding win-win solutions that meet both their needs and yours. Be willing to compromise where necessary, but also stand firm on your principles when it matters most. By demonstrating a commitment to finding common ground and resolving conflicts amicably, you'll be well on your way to getting them on your side.

If you are constantly hitting roadblocks with a specific member, one of two things has already occurred. 1) You were not listening to their input and wisdom for their life experiences. 2) You have not built report and gotten them to logically and emotionally buy into what everyone else is working towards. Either way it is time to step back and restart the process of aligning values, goals and most importantly building report. We wish that emotions did not play a part in these processes, but they do. We are wired to react emotionally before applying logic. Both must be nurtured in any process that involves collaboration.

This should be the first stem in the process. And let me take ownership of my misspelling to this point, (extreme Dyslexic) Aligning Values first. Goals second. And finding common interests or backgrounds that can help you communicate on issues is critical to avoiding problems in the collaborative process. Not only do you have something in common with, you are of the same tribe, but you also have a tool you can use to best describe a concept to that person. Example: Mary loves to go fishing, but is having a difficult time understanding why the first marketing campaign is so broad, and they think is should be targeted to a very specific market. Your example might be describing “casting a wide net”.

Addressing the challenge of a difficult board member involves a multifaceted approach that extends beyond building trust and rapport to include actively seeking their input and perspective. By engaging them in meaningful discussions, soliciting their advice, and genuinely considering their viewpoints, you create an environment where they feel valued and respected. Acknowledging and publicly appreciating their contributions further enhances this dynamic. Such strategies, grounded in honesty, transparency, and authenticity, not only help mitigate tensions but also tap into the board member's experience and insights for the organization's advantage.

This is “Buy In” and the emotional intelligence you want, to avoid that “difficult” member. You will also tap their life experience to greatly improve your process or idea. Because their ownership of the idea will bring them to the level of Evangelist!