You disagree with your boss. How can you make your point without damaging the relationship?

1 Understand the context

Before you decide to voice your disagreement, make sure you understand the context of the situation. What is the purpose and scope of the decision or action that your boss is proposing or taking? What are the goals, expectations, and constraints that your boss is facing? How does your disagreement relate to the bigger picture and the overall vision of your organization? By clarifying the context, you can avoid unnecessary conflicts, identify common ground, and frame your disagreement in a relevant and meaningful way.

2 Choose the right time and place

Timing and setting are important factors when you disagree with your boss. You don't want to catch your boss off guard, interrupt a busy or stressful moment, or embarrass your boss in front of others. Instead, you want to choose a time and place that allows for a calm and private conversation, where you can both focus on the issue without distractions or interruptions. You can ask your boss for a meeting, or wait for a regular check-in or feedback session, to bring up your disagreement.

3 Use respectful and assertive communication

The way you communicate your disagreement can make a big difference in how your boss perceives and responds to it. You want to use respectful and assertive communication, which means expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly and confidently, without being aggressive or passive. You can do this by using "I" statements, such as "I think", "I feel", or "I suggest", rather than "you" statements, such as "you are wrong", "you don't understand", or "you should". You can also use positive and constructive language, such as "I appreciate", "I agree", or "I propose", rather than negative and accusatory language, such as "I dislike", "I disagree", or "I oppose".

4 Listen and empathize

One of the key skills for conflict management is listening and empathizing. This means paying attention to what your boss is saying, and trying to understand their perspective and emotions. You can show that you are listening and empathizing by using active listening techniques, such as nodding, paraphrasing, or asking questions. You can also acknowledge and validate your boss's point of view, even if you don't agree with it, by saying things like "I see where you are coming from", "I understand your concerns", or "I respect your decision".

5 Focus on solutions

The ultimate goal of disagreeing with your boss is not to win an argument, but to find a solution that works for both of you and the organization. Therefore, you should focus on solutions, rather than problems, when you disagree with your boss. You can do this by offering alternatives, suggestions, or compromises that address the issue and meet the objectives. You can also ask for your boss's input, feedback, or approval on your ideas, and show how they align with the vision and values of your organization.

6 Follow up and follow through

The last step of disagreeing with your boss is to follow up and follow through. This means confirming the outcome of the conversation, thanking your boss for their time and consideration, and taking action on the agreed-upon solution. You can also follow up with your boss later, to check on the progress and results of the solution, and to share any feedback or appreciation. By following up and following through, you can demonstrate your professionalism, commitment, and accountability, and maintain a positive and productive relationship with your boss.