What's the best way to tell parents good and bad news?

In my experience, establishing open communication at the beginning of relationships, whether coaching a parent or teaching their child has worked really well. One thing my mentor of many years taught me was to always start with a positive (personal, something special about their child) in the initial communication. Ex. "I just wanted to let you know that I saw Tim stop what he was playing at recess and help his friend tie his shoe today. It made me smile to know I have such a kind kid in my class." This establishes that you are noticing their child and looking for the good. This way when something not as easy to talk about comes up, you've already established communications. I also try to write back to parent notes as quickly as possible.

One thing I have found useful is when you communicate you are actually putting words together and figuring what your issues. Once you are able to figure out what is it that you are looking for, you already have reached closure to your answer or solution. Many a times, writing down your problems helps you to break it into smaller parts. This helps is getting better perspective to understand and choose the best way out.

Good news there are various ways to communicate. Bad news has to be handled gently. If the bad news is about the constant child's bad behavior, performance or in discipline, then all these things cannot happen overnight as an escalation. There has to be levels of escalation for bad a) WhatsApp the parent about the issue. If issue persists past 7 days then b) Take a time and call up the parent. Again 7 days gap c) Next, call the parent to school. The reason for doing multi-levels of escalation is because in today's world we have to understand that both parents are mostly working. If it's solved by a), b) then why go for level c) Do a proper communication in the common whatsapp group by the methods you will be abiding at start itself.

Patience is the best communication tool. A soft answer turns away wrath as well, but when your not mindful of what words you use, you will offend; even is your correct in the information. Often times, you want to highlight the best parts of the child and encourage the the parent that there are more ways than a few to improve on those strengths... From here you can add the parts of him/her thats weak. PArents tend to take it better when they see you care not only about what the child did wrong, but what they did right!

If you want to prepare for communication, I find it useful to write it down in the first place. Write down all the points you want to communicate. Plan on what is the purpose and what you want from them. Once, you are clear, you can put in all in points so that it is easy to communicate to the parents. Example= I want your child to complete the homework. I understand, the child is busy in all other activities. I appreciate your efforts in upbringing of the child. I only want that plan out something so that the child can get a break of 30 minutes just to complete his homework. He can do in three different timings with 10 minutes break each. It need not be at one stretch. It helps parents in actually planning out and executing the solution.

One thing I have found helpful in preparing for communication is to keep notes when I am speaking with parents (or when I was a classroom teacher it was anecdotal notes and samples of classwork).This way you are able to support what you are communicating. I find it helpful to communicate on the phone/zoom,or in person. I feel like things can get lost in translation with email and text. I think it's important to be able to at the very least hear a voice, and best-case, see expressions. I like to communicate and follow up within 24 hours of a coaching session, or as a teacher, I communicated weekly with newsletters, or as needed when issues came up with students. I know as a parent that I appreciated knowing things (good or bad) right away.

Stay out of your head... The easiest way to ruin the conversation is if you over think it and assume what you think they will say. Just be on the side of delivering the information in a respectful and approachable way rather than thinking you know what they need to hear. Every situation does not need big words nor does it need you to be a butwhole. They want to hear what you have to say, just let them know what they need.

In my experience, telling the bad news with honesty and empathy works better. I was working for the eye donation. It is really a delicate issue, when you need to convey that your child is no more and yet we want his eyes to see the world around. I found people are loving and supportive ONLY when you are empathetic and honest with them. Everyone goes through the bad new once in their life for sure. Let it be failure in the exam, loosing the job, getting rejected in love and so on and more. The world is a better place when we are building up upon good communication and the best way to express the bad news. We will actually make our world = a heaven, only if we know how to express or convey bad news. There will be peace around the globe.

In my experience as a former classroom teacher and certified parent coach, I find using clear, empathetic communication works best. I find it is helpful to start with a positive in order to get the person in a clear-headed thinking space (when people hear a negative first, they are sometimes not able to think from their prefrontal cortex, and it's hard to process information). Then, state the problem/bad news in a concise, gentle and honest way, assuring them of different avenues for help with the situation. Finally, end with another positive so that they are able to leave the conversation and move forward feeling they can tackle the issue.

Start with the good news 1st. Make it glowing and emphasize how much they have grown. Once its time for the bad news, mention it as something that needs work, but more than accomplishable b/c of all of their good qualities. ITs alot easier to take the hard pill, once they see there is hope.

In my experience, it’s always great to start with something positive about the student. I was told as a new teacher (who didn’t have any kids of her own at the time) that “no one wants to hear something negative about their child every time a teacher calls.” Once you say something positive, you can transition into what you need the student to work on in order to be successful. Finally, ask the parent what he or she needs from you to help the student improve. You can also ask the parent how they will help the student at home to help him or her improve in the classroom. Always end with a thank you and a show of gratitude for them taking the time to meet or converse with you. After the meeting, always complete documentation!