What are your best questions for client insights and solutions?

A good intake isn’t really about the first questions. It’s about exploring with the client to understand the underlying issues. Lots of people come with the issue they think they need to have, but there’s usually more to the story. It’s our job to explore, listen and support that process.

I often pose fundamental questions like: 'Do you aim to be the best or to be your best?' 'In life, are you moving towards something or away from something?' I inquire about what drives their decision-making, their perception of life's meaning and ultimate fulfillment, and how they define and embody success. These questions typically provide me with insights into how individuals value themselves and perceive their life's journey.

As a coach and clinician, I have studied the importance of how to create and ask open-ended questions from a phenomenological framework. Phenomenology is a fancy word for someone’s “subjective lived experience.” To find out more about someone’s lived experience, their journey, what emotions they attach to people, conditions, or situations in their lives, or how they feel about themselves, their beliefs, process and habits, we want to create safe spaces by asking open-ended questions. Also, by asking open-ended questions, we minimize the chance of asking leading questions. A couple of prompts for opening up the conversation with open-ended questions could start with: * Share an experience where you… * Describe a time when…

For my own insight, I use alot of situational awareness. where they sit, how they sit. For Mr this is important. My first session is the assessment. My questions always empower the client. For example Who are you? It's asked in the middle of the assessment. The client always tells me their strengths. Just what we need. I find the who , why and how is the most important questions to get the most information and it has the client feeling empowered.

When you start a road trip to a destination, you don’t start out the trip upset at yourself that you haven’t started the trip and just packing. You start here wherever that is and it’s just where you are. Your destination could be a few miles away or on the other side of the world. You are focused on the journey there. But the MOST important thing to keep in mind is happiness is not at the destination. It’s the planning, being, doing, and enjoying the journey and you will soon discover that the destination doesn’t exist it goes on forever. So wherever you go there you are and enjoy the moment you are in NOW because that is the only place you can experience LIVING and TRUE happiness.

Reframes are very powerful questions that are especially useful for clients that are "stuck". Asking the same question but in a slightly different way is an effective way to help change a client's perspective and present way of viewing their present situation. I have found reframing to be an effective tool personally.

One question that helps my clients reframe powerfully is "How does that help you?" Often answered with "It doesn't" and an embarrassed laugh, the perspective this gives is a real needle-mover. That simple question (I call it the "Bridge of Spies" question as it's about 80% of the dialogue Mark Rylance's character has) is powerful. Why? Because it helps people move from a negative / vengeful /remedial mindset to a positive / balanced / collaborative mindset. It is far from guaranteed but it certainly works for many clients.

Combined with methaphors, visualisations or free associations, reframing escapes the contextual concreteness, helping the client to connect with his emotions, unnconsious motives and intuition. These are easily overlooked in the process of rational decision-making as we incline towards intellectual reasoning and evaluation. Along this way all of our defenses, prejudices and "limiting beliefs" activate once in encounter with the (objective) reality. Elevating the coaching conversation and clients' mind-wandering above the obvious, provides a safe and yet creative space for him to get in touch and explore actual desires and values; embrace them, and then get back to earth: row sleeves and start self-consious and purposeful goal setting.

Reframing provides a unique approach to helping clients gain new insights and overcome challenges. It can guide them to find alternative perspectives themselves. Cultivating curiosity allows clients to explore different angles and possibilities, allowing for growth to happen. It is also a good idea to adapt your reframing questions to suit the client's personality, communication style, and specific challenges they are facing.

I come from a solution-focused, heart centered approach when working with my clients. Meditation and visualization helps them see, feel and experience their goals before they manifest into reality. We cannot create what we cannot imagine. Using our 'other senses' when focused on solutions empowers you to take inspired action in the direction of your goal, dreams and desires.

In my experience, not everyone can visual. Some will even pretend too. Trust and opening up to what kind of therapy they are looking for is important first

Additionally, not everyone is seeking therapy. For some clients, paying to empty their heads in a conversation with someone trusted and dispassionate is worth its weight in gold. The perspective and objectivity (our good friend the Meta state) is so valuable because it enables them to dip outside the tramlines of the everyday.

This is one of my favorite ways to gain client insight. We can go through every step for clarity with clients, but the main goal is SUCCESS. We cannot coach too many times in a circle when progress truly needs to be made. This will help you remind the client of how solutions have actually helped them progress in times where they feel stagnant.

Empower the most advantageous resource-state available, the wisest, most knowing, & healed self, The Future-Self. The fears around the future tend to be rooted in a belief the past will always carry over, past the moment being lived, past the here and now. A strong connection with this resource-state allows anyone to feel calmer and more confident. They can access the guidance of the one most invested in their greatest good in between stimulus and response. By listening to and practicing this connection regularly enables anyone to live more freely and limitlessly, expanding all areas of their life that inspire them. It is possible to live the life you want to live, right now! It starts by asking, how does this serve my future-self?

I think a reframed question will become powerful when it forces the client to distance himself from the challenge at hand and have a bird eye view of it. Otherwise it can become boring and time consuming. While working with clients I prefer to reframe questions in a manner that would help them to see what’s beneath the presenting problem and if they take away the situation and address the emotion attached to the situation, then how would they be resolving it and usually they have an AHA moment.

I agree, reflective questions are questions that help the client to be able to bridge the gap between what they want and what values and principles do they stand for. These also help client be assured that you are on his side. That he is being heard beyond he could convey in words and that helps a deeper sense of trust and openness.

I love the use of blended questions. One example is that early on I'll ask a client to imagine they've lived the best life ever. Then I ask them to imagine after a long pleasurable life they died a happy and peaceful death. Then I ask them to imagine attending their funeral. Someone who knows them well gives their eulogy. I ask them to sum up that eulogy in 2-3 sentences. This is generally tough to do. And most people say something like, he/she helped others. This helps me gauge where they see their value and how much they know their purpose. If you combine this provocative & future-orienting line of questioning with empathetic and active listening clients will usually move quickly into an insightful state.

I would like to add personal experiences and stories of great people who overcame similar situations. It’s important that even the stories and examples are absolutely relevant to the situation at hand and are reflective too, meaning it would leave an impression of question on client’s mind rather a conclusion. This way they are prompted to explore more of what they have within themselves that is the key to desired resolution/ outcome.

Use your past experiences to gain strength. Strength can come from all types of experiences especially some of your most challenging situations. So it helps to remind the client that they may have already been in a similar situation and gained useful knowledge of how to make it to the end goal. Even if the outcome wasn’t one that you would consider favorable there definitely is going to be a lesson that was learned along the way. So how do you take that situation and turn it into a win.