What techniques can you use to build rapport with clients who are in denial?

1 Express empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, without judging or criticizing them. Empathy is essential for building rapport with clients who are in denial, as it shows them that you respect and care about their perspective, and that you are not trying to impose your own agenda or solutions on them. Empathy can help you reduce the client's defensiveness and resistance, and increase their trust and openness. To express empathy, you can use reflective listening, which involves repeating or rephrasing what the client says, to show that you are paying attention and that you are curious about their experience. You can also use affirmations, which are positive statements that acknowledge the client's strengths, efforts, or values, to show that you appreciate and support them.

2 Avoid confrontation

Confrontation is a technique that involves challenging or contradicting the client's statements or behaviors, to expose the discrepancies between their goals and actions, or between their beliefs and facts. Confrontation can be useful in some situations, but it can also backfire when dealing with clients who are in denial, as it can trigger their defensive reactions and increase their resistance to change. Instead of confronting the client, you can use a more collaborative and respectful approach, such as asking open-ended questions, which invite the client to elaborate on their thoughts and feelings, and to explore the pros and cons of their current situation and their desired outcome. You can also use summarizing, which involves recapping the main points of the conversation, to highlight the gaps or inconsistencies in the client's logic, and to invite them to reflect on them.

3 Roll with resistance

Resistance is a sign that the client is not ready or willing to change, or that they perceive a threat or a challenge to their autonomy or identity. Resistance can manifest in different ways, such as arguing, interrupting, denying, minimizing, or avoiding. When you encounter resistance, you should not try to force or persuade the client to change, as this can create more conflict and tension. Instead, you should roll with resistance, which means accepting and acknowledging the client's point of view, and using it as an opportunity to explore their ambivalence and their reasons for change. To roll with resistance, you can use techniques such as reframing, which involves presenting the client's situation or behavior in a different or positive light, to show them that you understand their rationale and that you are not judging them. You can also use paradoxical statements, which involve exaggerating or agreeing with the client's arguments, to create a contrast or a surprise effect, and to stimulate their curiosity or self-evaluation.

4 Support self-efficacy

Self-efficacy is the belief that one can achieve a desired goal or outcome, and that one has the skills and resources to do so. Self-efficacy is crucial for motivating and sustaining change, as it influences the client's expectations, actions, and perseverance. However, clients who are in denial may have low self-efficacy, as they may feel hopeless, helpless, or overwhelmed by their situation or their challenges. To support self-efficacy, you can use techniques such as eliciting change talk, which involves asking the client to express their own reasons, benefits, or plans for change, to show them that they have the desire and the ability to change. You can also use scaling questions, which involve asking the client to rate their confidence or readiness to change on a scale, to show them that they have some control and choice over their situation, and to identify their strengths and barriers.

5 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?