Mentoring is a powerful way to learn from someone who has the experience, knowledge, and skills that you aspire to develop. But how do you build a mentoring relationship with someone you admire, especially if they are busy, successful, and in high demand? Here are some ways to approach, engage, and maintain a meaningful mentoring connection with your ideal mentor.
Before you reach out to a potential mentor, you need to have a clear idea of what you want to achieve from the mentoring relationship. What are your specific learning objectives, career aspirations, or personal challenges that you need guidance on? How do you expect your mentor to help you with these goals? Having a clear and realistic vision of your goals will help you communicate your value proposition, expectations, and commitment to your potential mentor.
I’ve found that my best mentorship relationships have started with me giving instead of taking. I’ve attended their trainings, paid them for their advice, and supported them for months before ever asking them for anything Re. mentorship. I can’t tell you how many DMs I get with people asking me to teach them how to become a speaker, read their books, give them endorsements, and purchase their services without ever connecting with me or supporting me. Why would anyone mentor you and invest in you if you’ve never made an effort to invest in them? Give before getting.
Building a mentoring relationship with someone you admire is a journey filled with learning and growth. Start by clearly defining your goals and what you seek to gain from the mentorship. Approach them with genuine curiosity and respect, showing that you value their time and expertise. Remember, it’s a two-way street; be ready to share your unique perspectives and experiences. This relationship is a dance of mutual growth and shared wisdom. So, embrace the journey with an open heart, ready to learn and also to inspire.
Consider viewing your goals not just as individual milestones but as part of a broader narrative. When reaching out to a potential mentor, share not only what you aim to achieve but also how these aspirations fit into your long-term vision. This narrative perspective helps convey a sense of purpose and allows your mentor to understand the context of your goals, fostering a more insightful and holistic mentoring relationship.
Start by mirroring their behavior and actions. It shows you value them and makes it easier for both of you to open lines of communication. They see by your actions you appreciate them as what you’re doing is a sincere form of flattery and will become more approachable letting you feel more comfortable out of your comfort zone
Try to get introduced and simply ask for guidance. Mentoring, being mentee or mentor is about building a relationship. It all starts with an honest request. No idea how to get introduced? Search LinkedIn for 2nd tier connections. Then try to connect to a possible introducer first.
Once you have identified your goals, you need to find a mentor who matches your needs and interests. You can start by looking for people who have the skills, experience, or achievements that you want to emulate. You can also look for people who share your values, passions, or perspectives. You can use various sources to research your potential mentors, such as their online profiles, publications, podcasts, blogs, or social media. The more you know about your mentor, the easier it will be to tailor your outreach, build rapport, and show genuine interest.
After you have done your research, you need to contact your potential mentor and request a mentoring relationship. You can use email, phone, or social media to reach out, depending on what is most appropriate and convenient for your mentor. However, regardless of the medium, you need to be respectful, professional, and concise in your communication. You need to introduce yourself, explain why you admire them, state your goals and expectations, and ask for their availability and willingness to mentor you. You also need to be respectful of their time and boundaries, and avoid being too pushy or demanding.
You’ll get more bees with honey than vinegar. I recently had someone reach out to me to collaborate and support their content. I initially agreed, but a family member got sick and I stopped checking my messages on here because they sometimes feel overwhelming alongside caretaking. It had been a couple of weeks, and instead of circling back to check in like most would do, they got angry with me, saying that I wasn’t treating them as important. When I responded, I let them know about the situation and that my availability had changed due to my family member’s condition. They got so upset that they blocked me. I share this because it’s a great example of what not to do. Be respectful and courteous, and don’t make assumptions.
Respect is given to whom respect is due. People are willing to pay for value, irrespective of the price, whether through money, gifts, or respect. Respect fosters comfortable communication, which is the first step toward establishing good relationships and mentorship. With that said, it simplifies many aspects of interaction and helps maintain a harmonious relationship.
Just ask and beleive it is possible for you! I am always so flattered when someone wants me to mentor them. I love hearing what about my content or webinars was resonating with them.
If your potential mentor agrees to mentor you, you need to follow up with gratitude and enthusiasm. You need to thank them for their generosity and opportunity, and confirm the details of the mentoring relationship, such as the frequency, duration, mode, and agenda of the meetings. You also need to express your eagerness to learn from them, and ask them what they expect from you as a mentee. You need to show that you value their time and expertise, and that you are ready to take action on their advice.
Once you start the mentoring relationship, you need to engage with curiosity and openness. You need to prepare for each meeting by setting clear objectives, doing your homework, and bringing relevant questions or challenges. You also need to listen actively, ask for feedback, and reflect on your learning. You need to show that you are curious about your mentor's insights, experiences, and perspectives, and that you are willing to learn from their successes and failures.
Finally, you need to maintain the mentoring relationship with appreciation and reciprocity. You need to show your gratitude and appreciation for your mentor's support and guidance, and acknowledge their impact on your growth and development. You can also look for ways to give back to your mentor, such as sharing your achievements, offering your skills or network, or providing constructive feedback. You need to show that you value the mentoring relationship, and that you are not taking it for granted.