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What are some effective ways to build rapport with someone you're in conflict with?

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Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, whether it's personal or professional. But how you handle it can make a big difference in the outcome and the quality of your connection. One of the most important skills you can develop is building rapport with someone you're in conflict with. Rapport is a state of mutual trust, understanding, and harmony that can help you communicate more effectively, resolve issues faster, and prevent escalation. In this article, we'll share some effective ways to build rapport with someone you're in conflict with, based on proven principles and techniques.

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Carlos Vargas

Business Intelligence - Marketing Digital - Education - Web - Sales
Yemi Majekodunmi

Life/Relationship Coach| Job Recruiter|Podcast Host| to Professional Single Women| from 40 years old | working with you…
Rajalakshmi Prithviraj

1 Listen actively

The first step to building rapport is to listen actively to the other person's perspective, feelings, and needs. Active listening means paying attention, showing interest, asking open-ended questions, reflecting back what you hear, and avoiding interruptions or judgments. By listening actively, you demonstrate respect, empathy, and curiosity, which can help reduce defensiveness and hostility. You also gain valuable insights into the root causes of the conflict and the possible solutions.

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Carlos Vargas

Business Intelligence - Marketing Digital - Education - Web - Sales
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Active Listening: Show genuine interest in their perspective. Focus on understanding their point of view without interrupting or judging. Empathy: Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand their feelings and concerns. Acknowledge their emotions and validate their experiences. Open Communication: Foster an environment where both parties feel comfortable expressing themselves. Encourage honest and transparent conversations. Non-Verbal Cues: Pay attention to body language and facial expressions. Maintain eye contact, use open body language, and nod to show that you're engaged. Find Common Ground: Identify shared interests, values, or goals. Highlighting commonalities can help establish a sense of connection.

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2 Find common ground

Another way to build rapport is to find common ground with the other person. Common ground is anything that you share or agree on, such as values, goals, interests, experiences, or opinions. Finding common ground can help you bridge the gap between your differences and create a sense of connection and cooperation. You can find common ground by acknowledging the other person's positive intentions, expressing appreciation for their contributions, highlighting your similarities, or sharing something personal or humorous.

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3 Use positive language

The words you use can also influence the level of rapport you have with someone you're in conflict with. Using positive language means choosing words that are respectful, constructive, and solution-oriented, rather than negative, accusatory, or blaming. Positive language can help you avoid triggering negative emotions, convey your message more clearly, and invite collaboration and feedback. Some examples of positive language are "I understand", "I appreciate", "I agree", "What do you think?", and "How can we work this out?"

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4 Show nonverbal cues

Besides verbal communication, nonverbal cues can also affect how you build rapport with someone you're in conflict with. Nonverbal cues are the signals you send with your body language, facial expressions, eye contact, tone of voice, and gestures. They can convey your attitude, emotions, and intentions, and influence how the other person perceives and responds to you. To show nonverbal cues that build rapport, you should adopt a relaxed and open posture, maintain appropriate eye contact, smile and nod occasionally, use a calm and friendly tone, and mirror the other person's movements.

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5 Be flexible and adaptable

Finally, building rapport with someone you're in conflict with requires flexibility and adaptability. Flexibility and adaptability mean being willing to adjust your approach, style, and expectations according to the situation and the other person's preferences and needs. By being flexible and adaptable, you show that you are open-minded, respectful, and cooperative, and that you value the relationship more than being right or winning. You can be flexible and adaptable by asking for feedback, offering alternatives, compromising, and acknowledging mistakes.

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6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Yemi Majekodunmi

Life/Relationship Coach| Job Recruiter|Podcast Host| to Professional Single Women| from 40 years old | working with you to protect your Mental Health during a Relationship break up, and encouraging financial growth.
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Get someone neutral to mediate between you! A mediator is quite effective as he or she will listen to each of you individually with no bias! Listening to each side of the story and why there is conflict! Then try to come to some form of resolution! In a lot of cases one or both parties want to be heard and receive an apology!

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Rajalakshmi Prithviraj
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Another way of building rapport is to engage in professional dissent. Generally used in the military, this concept helps the subordinate to express dissent or dissatisfaction with regards to the superior's actions or statements. Such expression enables healthy communication between the two. In a workplace, professional dissent can help in enhancing communication, accepting criticism or brickbats in a constructive manner and enables expression of different points of view. This helps clear misunderstandings, brings in greater clarity, encourages lesser conflict and helps build rapport.

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What are some effective ways to build rapport with someone you're in conflict with?

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1 Listen actively

2 Find common ground

3 Use positive language

4 Show nonverbal cues

5 Be flexible and adaptable

6 Here’s what else to consider

Interpersonal Skills

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What are some effective ways to build rapport with someone you're in conflict with?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Listen actively

2 Find common ground

3 Use positive language

4 Show nonverbal cues

5 Be flexible and adaptable

6 Here’s what else to consider

Interpersonal Skills

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