What are some common barriers to assertive communication and how can you overcome them?

Many people are afraid of conflict and try to avoid it at all costs. This can lead to passive communication or aggressive communication styles. Practice active listening, this involves listening to others and responding in a respectful and empathetic manner. It can help reduce conflict and improve communication.

I agree certain childhood traumas can contribute to reinforced mindset that a variance of belief or different opinion is a threat and becomes the instigator for rage. Over time this fear can trigger a fear of conflict expressing differing beliefs. Equipping your self with tools and techniques to improve your own emotional intelligence will equip you with the skills to care for your emotions and fully understand that each person has the responsibility to care for their own emotional well being.

Assertive communication can definitely sound aggressive and can prevent honest and open communication. Listening can deflect aggression and wait for an appropriate moment to assert your thoughts on a particular subject. Continual interruption will create a more aggressive tone in the conversation. There are situations where one person will not allow you to speak and voice your opinions. I think it's best to walk away from one sided conversations because there will not be a back and forth in the conversation. Those aren't really conversations. Staying calm and not using an aggressive tone lead to constructive conversations.

Attitude and Values?

I have found that people with lack of communication skills are simply not knowledgeable in a particular subject matter and haven't had the opportunity to learn communication skills. Talking to people, active listening, body language, tone, are all factors in the skill of communication. Traveling around the world and talking to people in different cultures and occupations gives a broader knowledge of communication skills.

I have found to practice saying No without feeling or giving in to the urge to explain has helped to improve my assertiveness. Also checking in with my self to ensure the mood and tone of conversation is emanating from a space of love and care not frustration or disgust. It doesn’t matter how sweet you fix your voice or professional you adjust your words. It’s actually your thoughts and feelings toward a person is the energy that will be transferred.

Low self-esteem can translate to timid and afraid to have conversations with strangers. Being comfortable can overcome self-esteem when talking to family or friends. But this comfort does not translate into communication with strangers. Some people have trouble talking to individuals who have a commanding voice or are superior in title. I found that having a sales job boosted my confidence in talking with people. Most people are generally pleasant to be around and are good communicators. Listening to the way people talk can help cure low self-esteem.

Develop self-confidence: Building self-confidence through self-care, positive self-talk, and practicing assertive behaviors can help individuals feel more comfortable asserting themselves.

Challenge cultural or gender norms: It may be necessary to challenge cultural or gender norms that discourage assertive communication. This can involve seeking out supportive individuals or groups and working to change societal attitudes towards assertive communication.

Yes some cultures a respectful look me in my eyes while you speak to me is extremely aggressive and offensive. I still hold to the fact the thoughts and feelings you cultivate in your mind toward people Carrie’s the most weight. When I worked with the Chinese community my ignorance broke many of their faux pas but they could sense my love and deep respect for them so my blunders became learning opportunities instead of barriers.

I just feel that this topic of assertiveness is very important in every aspect of life. There are times one has to be assertive in getting things done whiles in other settings, a more diplomatic approach is the preferred option. As someone who was brought up in a cultural setting where being assertiveness is considered rude or impolite, it is often very difficult trying to teach yourself out of it especially when in an environment where that is needed. Striking a balance is very important.

Everyone is different. We tend to associate with people that are closer to our own values, perspectives, and the same or similar views on different topics. This is very true with politics and religion so we tend to associate with individuals that are similar to ourselves. I have found it best to hear from all sides and form my own opinions. Staying away from conversations that have emotional triggers around people we are unfamiliar with can help with this barrier. Revealing personal details can help in some situations when there is a rational and trusting person on the other side.

If we have difficulty identifying our own emotional triggers and cues it will then become difficult to identify it in others. As a emotional coach I think it is fascinating when we can identify not only the emotion but the auras surrounding the emotion so we can understand how to navigate through it and satisfy the information being communicated through each emotion. It’s the body’s way of communicating internal truths and usually it is in response to a stimulus that we may subconsciously be ignoring.

Some people are aggressive in nature. Other people that are passive will listen to what you are saying while thinking 'how do I get out of this conversation' without seeming rude. Some people are followers and others are leaders naturally. It's pretty easy to figure out who these people are by talking to them. Resistance is a trigger that signifies someone who is not open to other ideas and thoughts. Having too many assertive speakers leads to confusion because they are usually talking over each other. If a person is not open to other perspectives and resists yours, there is no point in continuing the conversation.

It is important to understand that you have the right to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a respectful manner. Reflect on what you want to communicate and why it is important. Consider what might be holding you back from being assertive. Use assertive body language, such as standing up straight, making eye contact, and speaking clearly and confidently. Set clear boundaries and communicate them in a respectful manner. This will help you to maintain your personal space and assert your needs.