Feedback is an essential part of any professional relationship, but not everyone is open to receiving it. Sometimes, you might miss the signs that someone is not receptive to your feedback, and end up causing more harm than good. In this article, you will learn what non-verbal cues to look for when giving feedback, and how to adjust your approach accordingly.
One of the most obvious indicators of how someone feels about your feedback is their body language. If they are not receptive, they might cross their arms, avoid eye contact, frown, shake their head, or lean back. These gestures show that they are defensive, resistant, or disinterested in what you have to say. On the other hand, if they are receptive, they might nod, smile, lean forward, or maintain eye contact. These gestures show that they are engaged, curious, or appreciative of your feedback.
When someone is not receptive to feedback, their body language can provide clear signals. They might cross their arms, which can indicate defensiveness. Their gaze might be averted or they might look away, suggesting they're not engaged or are trying to avoid eye contact. Their posture may be rigid or closed off, as if they're trying to protect themselves from what's being said. Their facial expressions might show signs of irritation or annoyance. However, it's important to remember that body language can be influenced by many factors, and it's just one piece of the puzzle when trying to understand someone's reaction to feedback. For example it might just be cold in the room which will explain their arms being crossed.
Another way to tell if someone is not receptive to your feedback is their tone of voice. If they are not receptive, they might sound angry, sarcastic, dismissive, or bored. They might also interrupt you, raise their voice, or use harsh words. These cues show that they are hostile, offended, or indifferent to your feedback. On the other hand, if they are receptive, they might sound calm, respectful, interested, or enthusiastic. They might also ask questions, lower their voice, or use positive words. These cues show that they are cooperative, open, or motivated by your feedback.
A third way to detect if someone is not receptive to your feedback is their facial expressions. If they are not receptive, they might show negative emotions such as anger, contempt, disgust, or fear. They might also roll their eyes, purse their lips, or raise their eyebrows. These expressions show that they are unhappy, annoyed, or scared of your feedback. On the other hand, if they are receptive, they might show positive emotions such as happiness, surprise, admiration, or gratitude. They might also widen their eyes, smile, or tilt their head. These expressions show that they are pleased, impressed, or thankful for your feedback.
A fourth way to gauge if someone is not receptive to your feedback is their response style. If they are not receptive, they might ignore, deny, justify, or attack your feedback. They might also blame others, make excuses, or change the subject. These responses show that they are unwilling, unable, or unready to accept your feedback. On the other hand, if they are receptive, they might acknowledge, appreciate, understand, or act on your feedback. They might also seek clarification, request support, or share their perspective. These responses show that they are willing, able, or ready to apply your feedback.
Defensiveness:They might immediately deny or downplay the feedback, arguing against it instead of considering it. Resistance:They might resist the feedback, offering counterarguments or justifications for their actions or decisions. Disrespect: They might respond with disrespect or hostility, showing a lack of willingness to consider the feedback. Passive-aggressiveness: They might give non-verbal cues of annoyance or frustration, or make sarcastic or cynical comments. Remember, these are just potential signs of non-receptiveness. It's important to consider the context and the individual's overall demeanor when interpreting their response to feedback.
A fifth way to measure if someone is not receptive to your feedback is their follow-up actions. If they are not receptive, they might avoid you, repeat the same mistakes, or show no improvement. They might also complain, gossip, or retaliate against you. These actions show that they are unhappy, stubborn, or resentful of your feedback. On the other hand, if they are receptive, they might thank you, correct their errors, or show progress. They might also compliment, recommend, or support you. These actions show that they are happy, flexible, or grateful for your feedback.
If you notice that someone is not receptive to your feedback, you might need to adjust your approach for it to be more effective. To do so, choose a quiet, private, and comfortable setting to have a constructive conversation. Also, consider using the sandwich method when giving feedback - start with a positive comment, then state your feedback, and end with another positive comment. Additionally, focus on the behavior rather than the person, and use the SBI model - Situation, Behavior, and Impact - to provide clear and relevant feedback. Finally, after giving feedback, ask for their thoughts and feelings about it. Listen actively and validate their emotions. Doing so will create a dialogue, build trust, and foster learning.
When interpreting non-verbal cues, it's important to consider the individual's overall demeanor and the context of the situation. Someone might display signs of defensiveness or disengagement simply because they might be stressed, tired, or not in the right frame of mind to receive it. When that happens, it's important to approach the feedback conversation with empathy and understanding. Instead of immediately labeling someone as unresponsive, consider whether it might be a good idea to postpone the feedback discussion until a more appropriate time. The goal of feedback is not to criticize, but to help improve and grow. By approaching it with empathy, we can make the process more productive and beneficial.