Feedback is a crucial part of any mentoring relationship, as it helps the mentee to learn, grow, and achieve their goals. However, giving feedback effectively is not always easy, as it requires skill, sensitivity, and strategy. In this article, you will discover some essential practices for giving feedback to a mentee, based on the principles of executive coaching.
Prior to providing feedback to your mentee, it is important to ensure that you are adequately prepared and the context is suitable. This includes reviewing the mentee's goals, progress, and challenges, and pinpointing the areas that require feedback. Additionally, you should select an appropriate time and place for the feedback session, where you can have a private and uninterrupted conversation. While setting a positive and supportive tone, explain the purpose and advantages of feedback. Moreover, ask for the mentee's permission and readiness to receive feedback, and be mindful of their preferences and feelings.
From my experience as a leader over the past 30 years one of the most important factors in providing effective feedback is being authentic and transparent with the mentee. One of the ways to accomplish this is by using specific feedback examples based on your observations. Always use both positive and "needs improvement" observations and allow the mentee ample time to give their perspectives on each as your observation may not always be accurate. In the "new world" feedback should not feel judgmental to the person receiving it, therefore, the mentee needs to "feel" the process is supportive focused on their development.
From my experience, to give effective feedback to a mentee, we need to build trust, be specific, and focus on behaviors. If we can offer both praise and constructive suggestions and align feedback with the mentee's goals, engage them in open dialogue, and encourage self-assessment. We should also be willing to listen actively and use body language wisely. This will help them set actionable steps, provide ongoing feedback, and celebrate their accomplishments. As a leader we can always respect confidentiality and seek their input on your feedback approach, we can seamlessly foster a supportive mentor-mentee relationship.
The SBI model is a straightforward and effective framework for giving feedback, which is composed of Situation, Behavior, and Impact. With this model, you can provide a description of the situation where the feedback is applicable, such as a particular project or event. Additionally, you can explain the behavior that you observed or experienced from the mentee, such as their performance or interactions. Furthermore, you should share the impact that the behavior had on yourself, the mentee, or others, including any results or emotions that were generated.
The SBI model is a good method to use as a construct, however I would caution not to make the feedback feel clinical following a scientific method, the best feedback is an open and flowing conversation where both the mentee and the mentor feel comfortable expressing their points of view without judgement. The ultimate objective is helping the mentee with a constructive discussion on what is going well and what areas they could further develop and providing practical ideas on how to do so.
Giving feedback should be specific and balanced, meaning that you should provide concrete examples and evidence to support your feedback, rather than vague or general statements. It is important to highlight both the strengths and areas for improvement of the mentee, rather than focusing only on the negative or positive aspects. Additionally, use descriptive and objective language, rather than evaluative or judgmental terms. When giving feedback, avoid personal attacks, assumptions, or comparisons, and focus on the behavior, not the person.
One way to ensure you are providing balanced feedback both positive and needs improvement is to ensure the conversation is balanced. The downfall of many feedback sessions is that the mentor speaks for 90% of the conversation and the mentee is left to listen and typically disengages at some point as they will feel it is a "tell session" not focused on their development. You will know when you are having a good feedback session when the discussion is balanced towards equal airtime for both individuals. This is counter to how it is done in many organizations as it takes more time and effort for the mentor to facilitate for the benefit of the mentee.
Feedback should not be a one-way communication, but rather a dialogue and a catalyst for action. Invite the mentee to share their perspective and feedback on the situation, behavior, and impact, and be sure to listen actively and empathically. Ask open-ended and probing questions to help the mentee reflect, learn, and generate insights from the feedback. Collaborate with them to identify and agree on the next steps and actions they can take to improve or sustain their performance or behavior. Additionally, offer your support, guidance, and resources to help them implement their action plan.
Feedback without Action is just a "nice chat" and a check mark in a box. To ensure action the mentor needs to end the session with a few agreed upon and actionable development goals that will be discussed in the next feedback session. The mutual agreement part is critical, as the mentee needs to buy in and see the benefit of the behavioral change. This will motivate them to commit the necessary effort to make the change.
Feedback is an ongoing process, not a one-time event, so you should schedule regular feedback sessions with your mentee, adjusting the frequency and format according to their needs and preferences. Additionally, it’s important to monitor and track the progress and results of the mentee’s actions, as well as recognize and celebrate their achievements. Don’t forget to seek feedback from the mentee on your feedback style and effectiveness, so that you can use it to improve your own skills and relationship. Giving feedback to a mentee is a rewarding and challenging experience that can help both of you grow and develop as professionals and individuals. By following these essential practices, you can ensure that your feedback is respectful, relevant, impactful, and fosters a trusting and productive mentoring relationship.
For these feedback sessions to add value over the long term they must give value first to the mentee and also the mentor. The mentee needs to feel they are being supported and getting valuable performance improvement ideas and is being held accountable for positive change. The mentor needs to feel their time and effort is being valued through genuine engagement by the mentee showing a continued interest in performance and career enhancement through the process.
As a feedback provider, it is essential for you to spend some time in preparing for the feedback session. You need to invest time and energy to ensure your mentees celebrate success. Always keep in mind the mentee's goal and if their current actions are leading them towards or away from their goal. Identify areas where they can do things better. Most importantly donot shy away from giving feedback, even if its not something the mentee is hoping to hear. When you meet the mentee spend enough time in understanding how are they doing overall & how do they feel about their progress. Ask leading question to point them towards the right direction. Ensure the session ends with actions and a time frame to achieve them.