Feedback is essential for learning, growth, and improvement, but not everyone welcomes it with open arms. Some people may resist, reject, or ignore feedback, making it hard to build trust and rapport with them. How can you overcome this challenge and develop positive relationships with feedback-resistant people? Here are some effective ways to try.
Before you give or ask for feedback, try to understand the person's perspective. What are their goals, motivations, values, and fears? How do they prefer to communicate and receive information? What are the sources of their resistance? Is it fear of failure, lack of confidence, lack of trust, or something else? By empathizing with their point of view, you can tailor your feedback to their needs and preferences, and avoid triggering their defensiveness.
Feedback-resistant people may not trust your intentions or expertise, so you need to establish your credibility and rapport with them. Show them that you care about their success and well-being, and that you have relevant knowledge and experience to offer. Share your own feedback stories, both positive and negative, and how they helped you grow. Express appreciation for their strengths and contributions, and acknowledge their challenges and concerns. Build a connection based on mutual respect and support.
Be opened and ready to hear their feedback when they are ready. Usualy they will feel your presence by, and when they see your persistence to hear and the feel that you respect their space they will be more opened to interact.
There are different models and methods for giving effective feedback, but some may work better than others for feedback-resistant people. One example is the SBI model, which stands for Situation, Behavior, and Impact. This model helps you focus on specific, observable, and factual behaviors, rather than vague, subjective, or judgmental statements. It also helps you explain the consequences of those behaviors, both positive and negative, for themselves and others. By using the SBI model, you can make your feedback clear, concrete, and constructive.
Feedback should not be a one-way street, but a two-way conversation. Instead of telling feedback-resistant people what to do or how to change, invite them to share their thoughts and feelings, ask questions, and seek clarification. Listen actively and respectfully, and show curiosity and openness. Avoid arguing, blaming, or criticizing, and focus on finding solutions and opportunities. Collaborate with them on setting goals, action plans, and follow-up steps, and offer your support and resources.
If you want real feedback from real costumers or a real prospective (apart from focus groups), you should make the effort to take your conversation in the enviroment where your costumers are, not expect them to come to you. They might be willing to come to you, or incentivised to do so, but by than you can forget clear and sencire feedbanck. It will be only positive and superlative, unless you realy messed up. When they feen in thair enviroment and they see you as equal they will be sencire.
One of the best ways to build relationships with feedback-resistant people is to reinforce their positive behavior and outcomes. When they act on your feedback, acknowledge their efforts and progress, and celebrate their achievements. When they give you feedback, thank them for their honesty and insight, and show them how you apply it. When they overcome their resistance and embrace feedback, praise them for their courage and growth mindset. By reinforcing their positive behavior and outcomes, you can boost their confidence, motivation, and trust.
Play it by ear. Resistent people can be like that for many reasons. One can be becouse they neveer felt heard, so why try, or it could be due to their personal space needs. Sometimes just show your apprechiation with gestions or attention rather than words, they can seem fake thanks sometimes, even if you meen them if you stress on that point.
Building relationships with feedback-resistant people takes time and patience. You may not see immediate results or changes, and you may encounter setbacks or conflicts. Don't give up or get frustrated, but keep trying and learning. Be consistent and sincere in your feedback, and show them that you are there for them. Remember that feedback is a gift, and that you are helping them grow and succeed. By being patient and persistent, you can eventually break through their resistance and build lasting relationships.
J was stoped in the street by a team that was asking random people about some different flavoured beers. The people conducting the survey did not feel like they ever drank beer in their life. The beers that they gave me to taste were flat and warm, i felt bad to say it was bad and i pointed at the errors, but will they say to the company that asked for the feedback the reality?