What are effective communication techniques to manage difficult personalities?

1 Identify the personality type

The first step to manage difficult personalities is to identify what type of person you are dealing with. There are many ways to categorize personality types, but one useful framework is the DISC model, which stands for Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness. Each type has its own strengths, weaknesses, motivations, and behaviors, and knowing them can help you adjust your communication style accordingly. For example, a dominant person may be assertive, confident, and goal-oriented, but also impatient, aggressive, and insensitive. An influential person may be enthusiastic, friendly, and persuasive, but also impulsive, disorganized, and emotional. A steady person may be calm, loyal, and supportive, but also passive, indecisive, and resistant to change. A conscientious person may be careful, accurate, and analytical, but also rigid, critical, and perfectionist.

2 Use mindfulness to manage your emotions

The second step to manage difficult personalities is to use mindfulness to manage your own emotions. Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment with curiosity, openness, and acceptance. It can help you reduce stress, increase self-awareness, and regulate your emotional responses. When you encounter a difficult personality, you may feel angry, frustrated, or hurt, and react impulsively or defensively. However, if you practice mindfulness, you can pause, breathe, and observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment or attachment. This can help you calm down, gain perspective, and choose a more constructive response.

3 Apply emotional intelligence to understand their emotions

The third step to manage difficult personalities is to apply emotional intelligence to understand their emotions. Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, understand, and manage emotions in yourself and others. It can help you communicate more effectively, build rapport, and resolve conflicts. When you encounter a difficult personality, you may find it hard to empathize with them, or assume that they are intentionally trying to annoy or harm you. However, if you apply emotional intelligence, you can try to see things from their point of view, and recognize that they may have different needs, values, or expectations than you. This can help you avoid taking things personally, and find common ground or solutions.

4 Use assertive communication to express your needs

The fourth step to manage difficult personalities is to use assertive communication to express your needs. Assertive communication is the ability to speak up for yourself in a respectful and confident way, without being passive or aggressive. It can help you set boundaries, negotiate, and deal with criticism or feedback. When you encounter a difficult personality, you may feel intimidated, ignored, or disrespected, and either withdraw or attack. However, if you use assertive communication, you can state your needs, opinions, or feelings clearly, firmly, and politely, without blaming or attacking. This can help you protect your rights, respect their rights, and reach a win-win situation.

5 Apply active listening to show interest and respect

The fifth step to manage difficult personalities is to apply active listening to show interest and respect. Active listening is the skill of paying attention, asking questions, and reflecting back what you hear. It can help you understand, clarify, and validate what the other person is saying, and show that you care and respect them. When you encounter a difficult personality, you may feel bored, annoyed, or misunderstood, and either tune out or interrupt. However, if you apply active listening, you can listen attentively, ask open-ended questions, and summarize or paraphrase what they say. This can help you avoid misunderstandings, build trust, and show appreciation.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?